Need help for SD in N. Carolina

[Deb]

My SD is seperated from her probably PD'd husband. He was cheating on her for more than 2 years online and in person. He was also verbally and physically abusive to her throughout their 19 year marriage. He finally left in February to be with someone else. Since then has had 4 more GFs. When he left he gave her the truck, which needed work, and he took a car and his $10,000 Harley. In June, he gave the barely working car to their son as a graduation present. It over heats and doesn't run well, but son needs it to get to work. He is engaged and needs to be able to pay his own way now. In July, exh got fired. For cause. No unemployment that I know of. He stopped contributing to their minor daughter's needs. He only visited her 2 or 3 times during this time. He's more interested in his GFs and his biker club. Anyway, GF#5 is a doozey. She eggs him on to harrass my SD. He demanded the truck in August, while SGD12 was visiting. SD said no because she needs it to get to work. So he was taking SGD12 on his Harley and got into a road rage incident. Was going more than 100mph when they crashed. SGD was lucky in that she only had road rash. But it has been a nasty, painfilled recovery. Of course, in exh's mind, it is SD's fault. She should have given him the truck because he wanted to take his Harley in to get it fixed. But his biker buds already TOOK his bike in for repair.

SD got into some trouble when she was a child. Had a juvie record. So her exh and his GF called the police on her and tried to get her arrested,. When that didn't work, they called DSS and said she was endangering their child. WHAT? Thiks from the guy that roadraged with SGD12 on his bike? Last week, exh and GF called and texted her repeatedly demanding the truck. He told her togive him the truck and she could have the car. The car he GAVE to his son. Oh, and he tried to get his son arrested for stealing his pain meds in the hospital. Which didn't happen and son won't speak to him now. So SD filed for an RO against them based on the text's she recieved. really nasty ones. His response was to shut off her power. It was in his name. She was paying the bill. He said it was because she wouldn't give him the truck. The truck she needs to get to work in to support their daughter. The daughter he hasn't paid a penny in child support for. SD needs a lawyer, but barely has the gas money for work. Does anyone know where there might be free legal help for someone in the Charlotte area? She lives near there. She needs to be done with this guy and can't afford a divorce.

[Waddams]

Sometimes Domestic Violence Shelters will help point you in the right direction.  They can't represent her, but lots of them have advocates that can give her some advice and referrals to L's, pro bono services, etc.

Try googling "Charlotte Domestic Violence Shelters".  There's probably several that you could call and find out if they have an advocate that could help her.  Some require the victim to be staying at the shelter, but other's don't.  My fiance got the help of an advocate at a local shelter in getting a restraining order against her ex-husband.  The advocate helped her fill out the forms, advised her how to present the case to the judge, told her where to go and file it, and was there at court to support her the day of the hearing where it was approved for a period of 1 year.

I'm sorry for what's happening.  Just know that she's got the ability to turn things around.  

Editted to add - Oh, she should check the wording of the RO.  It might be considered a violation of the RO for him to turn off her utilities.  I know when I was divorcing uPDxw, a mutual RO was issued that constrained us both from doing certain things, like turning off the utilities in the house while either of us was still there.  In my jurisdiction, that sort of order is standard language in any family court case, and even if there isn't the language in the order, it's also in my state's laws, so it would still be a violation of the order even if not written in the order expressly.  She might be able to go to the authorities and have him arrested based on what he did as a violation of the RO.

[Deb]

Oh, she should check the wording of the RO.  It might be considered a violation of the RO for him to turn off her utilities.  I know when I was divorcing uPDxw, a mutual RO was issued that constrained us both from doing certain things, like turning off the utilities in the house while either of us was still there.  In my jurisdiction, that sort of order is standard language in any family court case, and even if there isn't the language in the order, it's also in my state's laws, so it would still be a violation of the order even if not written in the order expressly.  She might be able to go to the authorities and have him arrested based on what he did as a violation of the RO.

Thanks, Waddams! I was thinking that this might be the case. I will text her in a bit and suggest that. I wish I was closer, but hubby and I are on the west coast.  

[ForeverDad]

Sorry I can't help on contacts there.  And I agree that if he's done anything to violate the RO then she should report it and not feel overly fair or sorry for him.  Inaction often enables more poor behaviors.  It will be hard since he has been intimidating and pressuring.  She needs to be alert and not let him catch her off guard.

Does the RO include the children?

If at all possible, she needs to get as much paperwork removed from her H's name as possible.  Since she has been living there and using the vehicles for an extended time while they were separated, then even if he holds title, she has use and possession IMO and he likely would have to go though the courts to legally get them.  If he takes them then she should see if they can be reported as stolen.  Note: Peer support, not legal advice.

[Deb]

SHe's been using it since february, bu really, he has barely driven it in 2 years before they seperated. ANd she said the court dropped the RO because he's still in a wheelchair from his accident. I guess they don't consider him and his gf calling and texting constantly garrassment.  I did find a link for free legal in the area for her and told her to call. Oh and he contacted me on FB to tell me his side. It was a major "Poor poor pitiful me" message. Trying to decide if I should respond. Probably I won't.