What is the point of setting boundaries or even sticking up for yourself if it just backfires. If any of you read my post about leaving him at a restaurant Friday I am still sick about that. But I have not heard from him since. However I have a friend of mine helping him with a giant mess he has. And I asked that she continue to help him. I could have told her no and she would not have. They spoke and he is being very nice to her. I know he got home safe now too. However, I have not heard from him since I left him carless at a restaurant. I am trying not to beat myself up over reacting to his belittling me again and again. The last three months I have been just awful I think. But everyday he has been loaded for bear since the day I met him. I just don't get it. I really don't anymore. The more I think about how he takes and takes, the more angry I get. See this is what happens to me. He treats me like poop. I try to be nice and put up with it and then it builds and builds. And all of a sudden I will do something that is out of my normal behavior (like abandoning someone at a restaurant) and I look like the crazy one. I can hear him already. Why put myself through this. I am not married, no kids, no finances with this man. :)amn obsession of the mind is all I can say. Thanks for letting me vent. I just hate when I feel so bad about my behavior and they never ever do. Or they do and just behave worse. I can't figure out who is mor nuts him or me.
The philosopher Alain de Boton tweeted something that I remembered when I read your post: beware the viciousness of the normally shy and meek at rare moments of self-assertion and anger.
You hit a limit. You were full and you reacted in a way that most people would when they have had enough. Just you don't do it very often and when you do, it's out of character and so you feel bad about it, because it's not your norm.
You didn't over react. You just acted out of your usual character. You asserted yourself, not just over that moment in time, but over the culmination of all the things these people do to wear us down.
It was a straw that broke the camels's back. Of course, he's going to make you pay for that by his silence. He knows how tortured that will make you feel, and believe that you deserve to feel that way for daring to stand up for yourself.
Don't feel bad about it. Don't beat yourself up. You acted the way any normal person does when they have reached a limit. You only left him at a restaurant. There's plenty worse you could have done.
Give it time. He'll be back. Be ready to hear about how awful you were for daring to do that to him.
Get some clarity. What you did wasn't terrible. It was perfectly justified.
