Waiting for the other "other shoe to drop"...

[The Mrs]

To quickly refresh, we have been married 25 years, 2 months ago I left, my husband does know where I am living.  My intent was to maintain my responsibilities and commitments to our business and financial dealings.  Some days I would be given access and some days I would not (for example, he has put an external lock on our master bedroom prohibiting me from getting any other clothes, jewelry or toiletries; he threatened to hose me with a power washer at the top of our driveway when I came to drop off some keys and paperwork; he couldn't find his drivers license and credit card so he allegedly called the police claiming I stoled them; to list a few).  We have gone ant days without contact but the past 2 days we did have contact and he seemed "normal"... .too good to be true.  I know he is seeing a new psychiatrist and a new therapist and going to a new stress management class, and I wish him well and all, but I just don't trust it.  It's just too good to be true, too fast and too quick.  How do I address that when he says why don't you come home?  And how do I manage the feelings deep down inside that I know sooner or later he is going to blow it, just like all the other times?  And if he doesn't, I kind of hope he does, cuz I just want this all to be done... .so sad, but true.

[Samuel S.]

You gut instinct says not to trust him, because he has changed too quickly. You basically have said that you are angry with him and that if you were to return to him, that you hope he would fall back to his old, distrustworthy patterns. That says it all. You need to see consistency in your significant other, and you obviously have every right to have it. If there is any glimmer that you want to really be back with him, then, couple counseling along with individual counseling may be a good plan. The best of luck to you!

[The Mrs]

So we had 3 decent days together, taking drives, looking at the fall colors, watched a couple of movies, I went to my "safe house" every night.  Tonight, however, he brought up the subject again of my returning home.  I'm sorry, but in my mind, a 2 month hiatus out of a 25 year  marriage is nothing... .nothing if the goal is to rebuild trust and intimacy on a long term, go forward basis.  So what has really changed, he didn't rant and rage at me but he did stop at a gas station and buy a beer and drive with an open container (got a problem with that) and when we got back to our house he went upstairs for a bit and came back down and I said, "Hmm,  smells like skunk again... ."(got a big problem with that).  So he was upstairs getting high even though he is supposed to be trying new meds under a doctors supervision, he knows I am totally opposed to that.  As I just re- read what I wrote and thought about what I experienced, I guess he is just continuing to play me for the fool and see just how much can he getaway with.