I am new

[elin22]

Okay this is not my norm but I am aging and I know that my child with BPD is young and feels that when I die they will be able to finally commit suicide. There has been 1 failed attempt and many times I am asked whyb would I want them to suffer like this and live. I answer but I know my answers fall on dry ground. This child is an adult and was recently diagnosed with BPD. When we started reading about it we both were like okay this is me/you. At that time there was a sense of hope as there was a name to these deep, dark feelings, outbursts etc. Now it feels to them as a certian death sentence, one which they will have to execute because the body is young and healthy. where do I start, how can I assist in turning this child around around. Today they called and made an appt to attend an intensive outpt center. She did this several years ago with depression as her diagnosis. It did not help then what is the chances it will help now? Help me. I have been trying to keep 3 children full of hope in being able to live a good life with mental health issues. all with different diagnosis. They all are adults now. Each struggling in their own way. This one with BPD seems to be on a more slippery slope. My oldest child also has had a failed attemtp at suicide. My BPD and myself just recently expressed that we think the older child is showing signs of BPD. Is it possible to go from schizzo-effective to BPD? Such a journey I have been on these past 14 years. Just as I think I have a handle someone flips out. Please help me  Thanks

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[starshine]

Hi elin22,

I do want to welcome you to this board- there are a lot of kind people here who have incredible insight to share.  Skip around the different boards, and share out there too.  We are glad you are here.   

[Rapt Reader]

Hi, elin22 & I'd like to join starshine in welcoming you to this site. I am so sorry that your family is in such pain, and that you are all suffering from so much trauma. You say that your children are adults; do they all live with you? Do you have a spouse or any other family as a support system?

If your children have various diagnoses, does that mean that they are in therapy? Your child with BPD who is scheduled to go to and Intensive Outpatient Center may just find now that she has the diagnosis, maybe the help this time will be more targeted to her correct needs. If they do Dialectical Behavior Therapy, that would be very helpful for her. It sounds like, though she has had suicidal ideations, that she is also open to getting help for her troubles. If that is the case, she really does have the chance of improvement.

It sounds like you have your hands full, with 3 children with mental health needs. Are all 3 of them involved somehow with therapy? And you... .you are so stressed out and overwhelmed, are you in any type of counseling? Many of us on this site have some sort of therapy to help us deal with our BPD loved ones, and we find that it really helps a lot. If you help yourself, you are better able to be there for your loved ones... .

I know the sadness you are feeling... .I am here because of my own adult son (36) who was diagnosed with BPD in March of this year after a suicidal ideation landed him in the Psych Ward of our local hospital, and then a subsequent stay at a Dual Diagnosis Program that lasted an intensive 21 days. And, that Program saved his life: he is clean and sober (from a heroin addiction) now for almost 8 months, and has no suicidal thoughts and isn't depressed anymore, and is starting to love life again. So, it is possible for there to be some light at the end of the tunnel... .

When I found this site, right after my son's diagnosis, I read everything I could, and learned how his mind worked, and learned how to communicate with him better so as to not push every one of his buttons. Once I did that, he changed the way he reacted to me, and I could help him get the ongoing therapies he needed: Outpatient therapy, Psychiatrist, and Neurofeedback therapy. This is what is working for him, and he wants it to work so he is getting better every day. But I started by clicking on the information in the links to the right-hand side of this page, and I read everything there is to learn here.

Please take care of your own self, elin22, and continue telling us your story and asking your questions... .We are here for you 24/7, and we really what to help 

[qcarolr]

Hi elin22 and welcome to the parenting board. You are in good company here, and there is defintiely hope. Lots of learning and hard work too. For you. For your children. And yes, BPD can tag along with other dx, and sometimes replaces other dx. That is between the adult kids and their docs.

It is awesome start that you and your DD (dear daughter) are working through this together. Family support is so vital. Yet, we have to find ways to take good care of ourselves too. This is a key - the stronger we are, the better we can interact with our BPDkids, help them regulate those overwhelming emotions, and supprot them in getting the help they need.

The sidebar is a really good place to start. There is a lot here, all of it valuable. I would start with the top item - the goals/objectives with orient you to the hopeful, research based foundation to the board.

As you feel comfortable, please share more of your story here. We care. We understand how hard this is. It can overwhem us.

My BPDDD is 27 and is finally asking to get her needs met while in jail for harrassement. I did not bond her out this 3rd time this year. She may get out on Thursday and is actually hoping the jugdge sentences her the the dual-dx program for her probation and treatment. She has also been getting some treatment and classes in jail. She has had a really bad year - she gets violent rages when overwhelmed instead of the suicidal ideation. Acting out instead of acting in. She has refused treatment for many years.

qcr