Hi,
It's been a while since I've posted on here (Feb 2013). I regularly look over these boards as it still helps me with the pain from this r/s. (read my first posts for full story about my bad girl ex!)
Basically split from gf last Xmas who i have a young daughter with. we got back together in June. Initially i didn't want anything to do with her as I was loving life. She basically used my daughter 1.5yrs old to get us back together and things were good for a couple of months with only the occasional rage normally when drunk from her! I used a lot of the techniques I learn't about on here although she has such a temper it's impossible to avoid conflict with her!
after the first two months things started to be a lot more up and down but I was already blind to a lot of the problems just like before! she actually hit me in the face with a glass at a party (due to her jealousy about a girl I'd met while we were separated) and cut all my mouth open yet i still ignored this for some reason
I did however set boundaries and started to not take any of her abuse as i could walk away now which has caused her to get more and more angry!
Fast forward to Xmas and NYE and she got really bad and on NYE before she was drunk went crazy at me about my lack of commitment to her etc etc! It actually turned out she is angry about me going away for 3 days in the summer for my best friends stag do before he gets married. She's now said its her or the holiday to which I've said I'm going away regardless!
Since NYE shes been giving me the silent treatment but in texts says its pretty much over!
I've been doing no contact except for collecting my daughter last night where she told me she wants to talk tonight about us although she's already bagged up all my bits that are at her house so I'm confident its over!
I know I need to get away from her and initially i was glad as I truly can't see a future for us due to her constant aggression and hatred towards me.
The problem is I've started feeling down again thinking about not being with her! Mainly because of all the extra time i get with my daughter and being involved as she grows but also the few good times that there are seem so so good.
It's also upsetting because I know she will of already been contacting Ex's, other men again due to her recent facebook activity and being a small town I'll get to hear all about her escapades :'(
Not looking forward to tonight as i know I'll try my best to stay with her even though i believe we're past that point! Past few nights have already been sleepless due to her being in my head, whats she doing, who shes talking too etc!
Sorry for the essay just felt like I needed to talk about this as it makes me feel better already!
thanks guys!
