Can you check out my story and give advice?

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

I just posted on the new member page. (Man that felt good!). It's a long post but it's what I've been going through for years and I would appreciate any thoughts or advice. Here's my intro post with my story: https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=216871.0

Thanks everyone. May 2014 be a year of peace, answers and healing!

[SeekingAdviceinCa]

I just posted on the new member page. (Man that felt good!). It's a long post but it's what I've been going through for years and I would appreciate any thoughts or advice. Here's my intro post with my story: https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=216871.0

Thanks everyone. May 2014 be a year of peace, answers and healing!

[Mara2]

Welcome to the forum 

We have all been through some pretty tough stuff and you will find some great support here.  I would suggest spending a lot of time going through the lessons and reading the books and articles that are recommended here. 

While we are in the middle of a r/s it is so hard to see straight.  Now that you have some space (be very grateful) take the time to learn about BPD and any other diagnosis  like bi-polar.  You need to understand what you are dealing with. 

We must admit that we have a part in this r/s too.  Learn about yourself and how you contribute to the problems or solutions.  We can make things worse, but not the way our pwBPD accuses us.  It is much more subtle. 

Sometimes we don't want to let go because we have put so much into the r/s already.  Sometimes it feels like we failed.  Some of us because of religious convictions.  We need to get past feelings and find truth to make wise choices. 

God Bless and may you have a peaceful New Year.

Mara

[SeekingAdviceinCa]

Thank you Mara.  I really appreciate your words.

I am trying to do a lot of self-reflection. I know that I've played a roll in this mess.