How Do I get him real help?

[spyderz66]

Thank you everyone for opening some of the darkest places in your life. At this point I am more than convinced the my BF has BPD. I cant recall the amount of times I have heard I'm worthless, I don't deserve to live, I'm not natural, Im not human. We have had the fights that go on for hours, going round in circles over, and over, and over, and over the same damn thing till I am blue in the face. One of my "favorite" things he says to me is if I keep telling him what I am trying to get him to understand but do it in different ways, he will finally get it. We have had our major fights, and now as I look back at a lot of them the worse they were was because I was standing up for myself and not letting him have the upper hand. I work in the coffee industry and he wanted to make a log of how much in tips I bring home a day for budgeting purposes and of course I was like sure go for it. What I didn't know this also meant was that because he counted them everyday they were rightfully his also to do with as he pleased. We were on our way home from my work one day and I told him that I needed to use the money from the day before to get some things at the store. Next thing I know he is calling his mother telling her I am a selfish ass and that he is leaving me and we were done for good. I couldn't help myself and I started yelling over him why I was using the money which caused him to reach over and yank the keys out of the ignition, luckily we were at a stop light. yelling at me the whole time to get the #&*( out or we arent going anywhere. He has gotten angry at me for trying to kill him because he said he was hungry and I told him to finish my sandwich I had to which he said no and I was like just eat it. That sent him the edge for a good 30 minutes because somehow I was supposed to know that his throat was super dry and eating the bread could make him choke.

I could keep going but I don't think I need to. How do I help him realize that the help he needs is not the help he thinks he needs. He is self medicating right now with various things. All of which just compound his already scattered emotions. He is on antidepressants that he got from a public clinic just by walking in and I don't think they are doing anything for him. His mother is his biggest trigger, she herself has something not quite right with her thinking. She tells him he isn't doing enough but then gives him money to live off of all the while threatening to ship him off to get sober if he wont just stop. Its almost like she cant understand that if you take away and deal with the self loathing you will eventually get rid of the drugs.

I wish I could just knock him over the head with a club and drag his ass to a doctor that can really help, but something tells me the police wouldn't like that. After getting yelled at last time for talking to people about him after he told me to call and make an appointment for him, I don't really know what to do. Should I try again?

One kinda strange question I did want to ask also is, Does anyone elses pwBPD talk in very obscure analogies when trying to explain things?

[GreenMango]

Ambiguous talk leaves things undefined. If he's an addict responsibility isn't really their thing.

He sobs like he's looking for a mom.  That coupled with the drug use and BPD this is a long road.

First would be to look at the staying board tools like jade and set. Then boundaries.  You don't want to stick around to be abused it sets a pattern. Developing a boundary to his abuse is essential.

[halfnelson]

Oh no, he sounds just like my husband, albeit more in need of being looked after. His mother also just thinks if he gives up the alcohol he'll be OK- oh, and some 'positive thinking' will cure all his issues. I'm sorry I don't know what else to advise, but definitely set boundaries, and don't let him near your money if he's going to be like that. My ex was like that, and he wasn't even BPD. That is so wrong and selfish.