Be prepared for a typical reality: The fix will get done but she won't be 'punished'.
The person behaving poorly will seldom get consequences and the person behaving properly will seldom get credit.Does she live in that county or in yours?
However, now that you know a divorce is inevitable and not just a simple retaliation, go ahead and file in your own county (or if legally required then file in that county that the case be transferred to your county of residence where the children reside). You should make sure all this is documented before the court and "on the record" probably in the paperwork but especially when appearing for the temporary order.
- her recent arrest and other applicable history (be aware DV may be considered an adult behavior and not reflective of her parenting behavior)
- her attempt to file elsewhere stating unsubstantiated allegations and falsely stating you couldn't be found
- anything else that is relevant to the temp order, giving priority to parenting issues, child exchanges, etc
For example, your position ought to be along these lines... . You honor, her recent activities, including trying to obtain custody on unsubstantiated and outright false claims, demonstrates she cannot have the children's best interests as her priority, while I do. She cannot share "her" children and would continue to obstruct my parenting, while I can share "our" children as appropriate and not obstruct her ordered parenting. Therefore, I am asking for temporary custody and as much parenting time as possible in the temporary order while the professionals such as parenting investigators or custody evaluators determine the best long term needs of the children.
Most lawyers will instruct their clients "keep silent!" because they don't want them to say the wrong thing that will sabotage their own cases. Most temp order hearings are brief, maybe a half hour or so, not much time for a difficult case. You have to try to get the best temp order for yourself, that means listing as many of her misdeeds as possible. Prioritize them, in case the judge doesn't let you finish going down your lengthy list. What you don't want is to have your lawyer tell you what mine told me, ":)on't worry, we'll fix it later." New flash... . "Fix it later" turned out to be two years later in the Final Decree. Yes, most of our high conflict divorces last a year or two and sometimes even longer.
