Haha ForeverDad, that is almost verbatim what tell my D20 when she stbxw is driving her crazy - you cannot have a logical discussion with an illogical person. You hit the nail on the head.
nevaeh - great job for sticking to what you need!
Despite the apparently very sincere emotions of the pwBPD, their goal in talking is not to demonstrate their love or caring for you - the goal is to get you back under their control.
I am now just under 2 months out from having left my uBPDw of 25 years and moved into my own place. The other night I was feeling a bit sorry for her and as I often do I turned to these boards for some guidance or wisdom. I landed on the suggested reading on the Detaching board and read this article
https://bpdfamily.com/bpdresources/nk_a110.htmI also almost daily revisit the 10 beliefs that can get you stuck, because I often find myself slipping into one of them. You may want to do the same as it sounds as if we share some of the same emotions.
https://bpdfamily.com/bpdresources/nk_a109.htmMy stbxw is also a non-stop phone talker, similar to you to the point where they just leave you exhausted. Even before I left the house I would often not answer the phone if I saw her number on the caller id, as the voicemail blessedly has a 90 second limit. However since I have left I have gotten so much better about enforcing my boundary regarding phone calls. Because of the impending divorce, I have severely limited any phone conversations as I feel I have nothing to gain and it becomes a he said/she said. Even if she calls and leaves me a voicemail, I will respond via email, so as to have a clear, concise record of the interaction. You have the power and the right to set your boundaries.
Hang in there.
