About halfway there...

[ForeverDad]

Halfway means from when we separated (2005) and divorced (2008).  For those of you who know me, most of my posts were over on the Family Law board due the legal issues involved as well as the need for heightened confidentiality from internet 'bots and searches.  If you ignore the two year high conflict divorce process, that left our preteen with 12 years until he's an adult.  So we're about halfway there, our sights on 2020.  Six post-divorce years behind us and six before us.  Our son recently got a decent order, though I doubt my ex sees it that way.  He now spends most of his time during the school year with me, the magistrate gave my ex "one more try" and so summers are still equal.

Mostly it's been smooth since then, though I've already been accused of 'harrasing' in a text a couple weeks ago.  She now refuses to talk on the phone with me, the court wasn't pleased with her rants and rages I played for the court.  So she talked to son and he asked me whose holiday time was.  She had him for Valentines Day and so I thought the next one was mine, we alternate holidays.  But it made me look up the holiday schedule and oops it was hers.  I tried calling back but she wouldn't talk to me so I let her talk to son.  He asked her to take Tuesday and she agreed but then today she texted and again asked when the exchange was.  Argh!  She never uses the schedule, she just inquires of me each time.  So when I noticed new texts this morning (sorry, it's only a single chime) and responded it was already a couple hours later.  I asked if what she and son discussed didn't work then what alternatives would work for her and she never responded.  So silence now but most likely I'll get blamed sometime, somehow.

[Turkish]

She never uses the schedule, she just inquires of me each time.  So when I noticed new texts this morning (sorry, it's only a single chime) and responded it was already a couple hours later.  I asked if what she and son discussed didn't work then what alternatives would work for her and she never responded.  So silence now but most likely I'll get blamed sometime, somehow.

Why do you think that is, to keep in contact with you on purpose for some kind of validation? Control? How does your son feel about all of this? I can see you are a very stable person from your other few posts and responses I've seen, but I bet you're counting down the days until you really don't have to interact much with her anymore.

[ForeverDad]

I have to chuckle about this, can't make this up... . A couple weeks ago she said I was "harrasing" her by replying to her text about 11:45 pm.  Guess what?  Last night she texted me about 11:35 pm!  Maybe the Okay versus Harassment transition threshold is at 11:40 pm?

[A Dad]

I have to chuckle about this, can't make this up... . A couple weeks ago she said I was "harrasing" her by replying to her text about 11:45 pm.  Guess what?  Last night she texted me about 11:35 pm!  Maybe the Okay versus Harassment transition threshold is at 11:40 pm?

That had me laughing out loud mate. Guess you gotta have a sense of humor to survive a BPD spouse

[Turkish]

I have to chuckle about this, can't make this up... . A couple weeks ago she said I was "harrasing" her by replying to her text about 11:45 pm.  Guess what?  Last night she texted me about 11:35 pm!  Maybe the Okay versus Harassment transition threshold is at 11:40 pm?

That had me laughing out loud mate. Guess you gotta have a sense of humor to survive a BPD spouse

Indeed. My T often shook his head in our sessions, as I would interrupt him and even myself to make humorous asides and snarks. Taking this stuff too seriously could drive us pathological.