Something encouraging

[Up In the Air]

I saw a little poem/saying on Facebook this afternoon that immediately made me think of this board and my uBPD MIL, so I thought I'd share it with you all. Lots of terrible memories have been coming back to me lately, mostly surrounding how she treated me before my DH and I went NC/VLC. I've been focusing my energy on what's 'mine' and what isn't, separating her fog from truth and this really hit home for me... .

(from knowmyworth.com)

Setting boundaries doesn’t make me ‘mean.’

I can set limits and expectations for my life and still be ‘nice.’

Considering your wishes doesn’t mean I have to do what you think I should do.

My feelings and thoughts are part of the decision.

And if you don’t like it, that belongs to you.

[P.F.Change]

That is really great, Up In the Air. Thanks for sharing.

I think a lot of us take a while to learn those lessons. Many times people who don't like us to have boundaries will tell us we are being cruel and selfish. That is the view my parents have when I say no to them. In reality, everyone needs to be able to say no, and that doing so doesn't mean we don't care about others. We can own our part and allow others to take responsibility for what belongs to them.

[Tightrope walker]

Up In the Air

   That is a good poem and right to the point.  I think in the beginning one of the hardest things I had to do was set boundaries and not feel guilty about it. 

                                      Tightrope Walker

[AsianSon]

I saw a little poem/saying on Facebook this afternoon that immediately made me think of this board and my uBPD MIL, so I thought I'd share it with you all. Lots of terrible memories have been coming back to me lately, mostly surrounding how she treated me before my DH and I went NC/VLC. I've been focusing my energy on what's 'mine' and what isn't, separating her fog from truth and this really hit home for me... .

(from knowmyworth.com)

Setting boundaries doesn’t make me ‘mean.’

I can set limits and expectations for my life and still be ‘nice.’

Considering your wishes doesn’t mean I have to do what you think I should do.

My feelings and thoughts are part of the decision.

And if you don’t like it, that belongs to you.

Thank you very, very much for your post!  I appreciate the poem greatly!