Hello, stevielin... .
First thing, I'm very sorry for the pain and stress you are under; when we have a child (even an adult child) who not only has BPD, but also substance addiction issues, it is terrifying to watch him self-destruct right before our eyes. We also want so much to believe that he is trying to get off the drugs, that things aren't as bad as we fear, that he can handle it eventually himself. It's a tornado of emotions and stress, and you wonder how long you can withstand it... .
If your son has a Psychiatrist who has him in a Suboxone program, then the addiction problem is opiates; quite possibly (or probably) Heroin. Suboxone in the state I live in is very,
very controlled. The Doctors who are certified to prescribe it can only have a limited number of patients at a time, there is usually a waiting list for a patient to get into the program, and it is a very fine science. They will not prescribe more than a certain amount to the patient, they want that patient to eventually taper off of it, and if there is any hint of the patient selling the Suboxone on the street (it is very valuable, actually, and fetches probably as much--or more--than actual Heroin does), that patient is dropped cold and blacklisted from re-admittance to the program.
Suboxone is formulated to not only take the place of the opiates the user is addicted to, but also to make it very painfully uncomfortable for the user to use both at the same time. If your son is taking his Suboxone as prescribed, he shouldn't be also taking something else between prescriptions; if he is doing that, then he's likely overtaking the Suboxone, or selling it or (less likely) sharing it (maybe for money). I'm surprised that his Dr. is still keeping him in the program; to be in that program there are generally
many drug tests to make sure he is taking the proper dosage, and not over or under taking it.
I do believe his mention to you "how careful he in how he tests it, only uses minimally and how he has been able to control it and function. and that because of his ocd right now not being able to have it/ get it, this is causing so much anxiety and dysreguation in him leading to being very depressed ( which is even more harmful. he has severely cut him self and talked of suicide in the past)", but not "that he is emotionally, cognitively addicted not physically". I'm sure he
believes that he isn't physically addicted, but his actions with the Suboxone makes that unlikely. Very unlikely.
I know this information because my own son (37) was like yours. In every way, except for the college attendance. He was like yours, up until a year ago when he was admitted to an Intensive 21-day Inpatient Dual Diagnosis Program, where his BPD was finally diagnosed and he was treated for it with DBT, and other therapies. He had planned suicides many times in his life, had very self-destructive behaviors, was depressed, and had a multi-year Heroin addiction. If you want to read his story, click on this link:
My Son's Dual Dx Pgm & NFT Story.
Now? He has been clean and sober (of any drugs or alcohol) for a little more than a year, is still in Therapy (he sees an Outpatient Therapist, Psychiatrist and is in Neurofeedback Therapy), and is recovering in a slow and steady, healthy way. His BPD symptoms and behaviors are practically gone (he's still an underachiever with Social Anxiety, but he's making headway with those things). The Dual Diagnosis Program is what changed his life, helped him "see the light" and drop his self-destructive and addictive behaviors.
I agree with
jellibeans:
I would not give him any money for drugs... . not a penny... . no matter what he says.
He needs a treatment center that can help him with his addiction and his BPD... . he has probably been self medicating and that is how he has made it through this far... . I truly believe if this P is not helping you need to find a new one... . Don't be afraid to change... . there is help out there. Have you looked up RTC?
He needs a Dual Diagnosis Program, Inpatient (because obviously the combination of Outpatient and his Psychiatrist isn't working), and time to get clean and sober. He is not interested in losing this addiction, and his Psych should be aware of that. His BPD will not be regulated if he is addicted to opiates, and he probably can't get off of them on his own--he can't even get off of them with the Suboxone. Believe me, I saw my son try for more than 4 years to kick Heroin; he attended 2 separate "normal" Rehabs over a 3 year period. He was even being treated with Suboxone for a few months. Nothing helped. Nothing. (Valerie Porr was right about a conventional Rehab program.) Not using his own scientific formulas or techniques, not regular Rehabs, not Suboxone. Nothing until he got real help at that Dual Diagnosis Center.
we would do anything for him but gosh giving him access to monies knowing it is going to drugs ... . we really don't know how to answer him. or where to go from here the denial make it so difficult there are many days we just feel like what ever get him tomorrow he has to be alive to get help----we as parents are also so in need of support and direction... . thank for listening
I've been there, stevielin, and know the way my mind got cock-eyed with fear, angst, empathy and love for my son. I want to support you, and give you direction, as does everyone else on this site... . Keep telling us your story, and asking your questions. We are listening
