A year ago, in the midst of a recycle attempt (she almost reeled me in), my wife threw me overboard (again). She moved in with a "boy toy." He is 14 years younger than us. This did massive damage to my self esteem.
My uBPDx is 11 years younger than me. Her boy toy is 8 years younger than her, so he's young enough to be my son. I'm sure she thinks he is more of "a man" than me, but objectively, that is ridiculous.
I thought there must be something "wrong" with me to get dumped by her so many times. Well, she has now thrown her hot, young boy toy overboard as well. Turns out she was sleeping with another guy before the breakup happened. I figured this might happen, but also thought maybe she had found "Mr. Right" and would behave herself with him. She is now on to the next man in her unending series of relationships. Who knows, maybe this new guy is the man she has longed for... .
What they long for is a fantasy construct of an attachment disorder, demonstrated by their love addiction. Perhaps it still stings your self esteem a bit, but seeing this play out must feel validating, no?