Do you think your parnter or ex partner could become violent?

[momtara]

Just wondering... .

[maribb]

Hi, sadly mine has been violent, provoqued by arguments,or not.

In depends mostly in how much pills has she taken... or if she has any stressfull situation on her life with me or her family.

[going places]

No.

His MO is 'head in sand' or 'pull covers over head, ignore problem, everything is ok'.

He treats people like things: Use them up for his benefit, zero maintenance, and when they break, he using bailing wire and bubble gum. When that does not work, he throw it away and gets a new one.

Rinse, repeat.

Violence would mean that he was emotionally invested.

I do believe this is simply impossible; to be emotionally invested, in anything but himself.

[Perdita]

Yes.

I got a glimpse of that on Saturday morning again when he wanted to head out for breakfast, but couldn't find his anti-depressants to take with.  He went completely nuts.  Cursing, throwing things, kicking stuff, shouting, slamming doors real hard. He went from calm to all that in a matter of seconds after he couldn't find the pills.  It is not the first time I have seen his mood change so suddenly.  I recently found out that his ex couldn't deal with his mood swings either.  She tried to discuss it with him many times, but every time he blamed all their problems on her being on anti-depressants (he wasn't on any at the time).  Mind games.  Endless mind games. 

[NotASnowflake]

I didn't think so until recently. When her family told me that they were afraid that she was going to hit her mother when she made a brief trip there a couple of months ago. It was part of what led me to learn about BPD. And then a couple of weeks ago she hurt me (emotionally) pretty bad, by saying "I don't want to know how you feel, I really don't" and justifying why she didn't. As I was trying to do what I could to remove myself from the situation, she hit me. It was only on the arm and it didn't really hurt. When I asked her if she realized that she just hit me, she justified it because "I wasn't listening to her". I've read of other stories here that are a lot worse and I'm glad that mine hasn't gotten worse, but it kind of stays in the back of your mind after something like that.

[lemon flower]

yes.

he has been acting violently to me a couple of times in the past (shouting and raging but also grabbing my neck and treatening me, quite scary)

at the moment he's sweet as a lollypop but I always keep the memory in the back of my mind and I will always take good care not to provoke him, as I unconsciously did before when I did not know about the BPD.

So being "prepared" better I feel relatively safe for now, but with a small glimpse of fear popping up now and then... .