How Early Did You Notice Pre-cursors to BPD in Your Children?

[Turkish]

Hello Parents,

I have S4 and D2 with my recently departed (from my home) uBPDx. Given the others in her family which exhibit BPD traits (her dad, older brother, and a little in her slightly younger sister), I am fearing that there may be some inborn biogenetic trait at work here. That being said, the three older siblings witnessed the worse of the abuse, dysfunction and abandonment of their parents.

S4 is generally a sweet kid, but he is extremely emotional and is triggered easily. His mom passing on her abandonment wound to the kids I don't think helps either, but it is what it is. In contrast, D2 is very stoic, even for a 2 year old. S4 was never in control like she is at the same age. Sometimes his tantrums can result in screaming and go on for quite a while. I'm navigating working on my own boundaries with him.

I know I can't control the future, but I'm trying to learn as much as I can, and to be as stable a parent as I can to not trigger something that may be lurking in his genes. I do notice that he is a little OCD, and takes foreeeever, getting simple things done like dressing. I have to really be on top of him to get simple tasks done sometimes. He also seems to need more physical validation than D2 (hugging, cuddling). That being said, he's otherwise a very smart kid.

So my question is in the subject line, how early could you tell, in retrospect, that there was something different with your BPD children, and what were some of the signs? Thanks for any feedback... .

Turkish

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[trytrytry]

Hi Turkish,

How fortunate that you've come to this board when your loved ones are so young!  If I had only known... .   My DD28, was different as a child.  She had trouble even at a young age w/ relationships, and tended to gravitate towards younger children.  She was touch sensitive - Could not go barefoot, did not usually like to be touched.  Not out of control until HS.  Always seemed a bit sad.  She did well in school up until HS.

When she was five, I took her to a psychologist because she said she "wanted to die" on several occasions.  Psychologist reported back that she was OK, but had ambivalent feelings towards her dad.

I think this is a spectrum disorder and that there is a broad range of symptoms.  Bottom line seems to be that they somehow don't quite fit in-and they know it.   Very very painful to watch as a mom.

Best wishes with your journey.

[Turkish]

Hi Turkish,

How fortunate that you've come to this board when your loved ones are so young!  If I had only known... .   My DD28, was different as a child.  She had trouble even at a young age w/ relationships, and tended to gravitate towards younger children.  She was touch sensitive - Could not go barefoot, did not usually like to be touched. 

S4 is definitely that way. Textures both fascinate and repulse him. He notices little blemishes on my skin, for isntance, and asks endless questions about "what happened there?" He gets weird when he notices a little hair or piece of lint on his clothing. Yesterday, it was very hot outside. We had finished playing in the sprinkler. I wanted to go to the grocery store and asked him to put on his sandals. He absolutely refused to go without socks, and I stopped trying to convince him otherwise since it was a losing battle and he was getting frustrated and whiny. I had to go in four times this morning while he was getting dressed to get him moving. Sometimes I will leave the room for 5 minutes donig something else and I will find him just sitting there. It is the same when he is in the bathroom sometimes, and I have to go remind him to snap out of wherever he is and get him to wash his hands and finish.

It's sad, but I might have joined all of the boards on this site when all is said and done... .  

[kellygirl601]

I noticed early that my daughter was different, but took that as different that her older sister... .   Everything with her was a huge issue from the get go.  Nothing was easy.  Ever.  You just could not reason with her.  If something happened at school, it was HUGE by the time she got home.  Once in 2nd grade a teacher said something to her because she was picking the rubber stuff off of the bottom of the mouse pad.  I thought we would never get her back to school again.  Her dad had to literally carry her and put her on the bus.  It was heart breaking.  And then there was her sister that is 5 years older totally humiliated over that.  It seems like when she was 7 or 8 she told me she wanted to see a psychologist.  After asking many times, I did take her to someone.  The problem is, most professionals will not dx them when they are so young.  I think they always suspected it, though.  She never wanted to be alone, ever.  Sometimes it seems like she would do ok at school and then let it rip when she got home.  I spent most of my time thinking it will get better, it will get better.  At 21 I realize it probably wont now.   :'( :'( :'(

[Loujaye]

I truly believe that my BPDD depression, cutting, always feeling different, not making or keeping friends and suicidal ideation were all precursors to the BPD that fully emerged when she was 19-20. In the past she lied, manipulated and had processing difficulties as well as memory problems. Her dx was refractory or hard to treat severe depression and Generalized anxiety disorder.  I got her help from the start and was as proactive as I could be. I lived her pain. She was hospitalized 2 years ago this month and continued in therapy. I sat in on her sessions at times and begged her therapist to let me know if there was anything I could do at home or not do to help. Answer was always no. Either therapist didn't recognize or, when she did, she  couldn't tell me because HEPA had been revoked. So I went on as usual, doing things for her out of love. I have just realized recently that they were all the wrong thing and totally pushed her away. We've be nc since Christmas. Ironic thing is it was my T that recognized it and has been trying to help me cope. So, in answer to your question, kellygirl, I'd say age 12. Feel free to PM me if you'd like.

[Loujaye]

I forgot to mention the sensory issues at age 4 also the rages at 12 on that we chalked up to being hormonal but she was so out of control I got her on the pill so that she would not get her period. Numbness in her leg and didn't recognize or feel emotions like we do. She would laugh I appropriately and cry over trivial things. Never got angry except during rages. Didn't recognize feelings. Admitted never knew what feeling happy was. Totally out of touch with and numb to emotions. She never cried when she she got injections. Would laugh. All of these characteristics are ones I've seen in my research and I've had so many aha moments. I'm angry none of the many professionals she saw put this all together. My heart is shattered.

[jellibeans]

turkisk

With my dd16 it seems like she always had difficulties at every age. She was a poor napper... . would wake screaming and would not go back to sleep. Could not self sooth at all. She had a lot of sensory issues when little... . socks bothered her... . she liked to put everything in her mouth... . at the time you would call her a spirited child. She talked late and went to speech therapy for a few years... . she was very frustrated during this time and had many meltdowns because she was not understood. When she started school she would chew on her sleeves of all her clothes and found school very stressful. Always sick and in the nurses office... . would do anything to come home. She didn't like going to birthday parties and would cry if invited. She lied a great deal even at this age. Told friends all kinds of stories. She was overly concerned about her hair and how she looked. Every morning I would try to do her hair and she would end up crying because one hair was not prefect... . every morning then when I would pick her up from school she would cry the whole way home recounting her terrible day. School has always been hard for her and stressful. Not able to keep friends and just struggling daily. When she was younger we had to decide if we could do a certain activity because of how upset she would get. Go out to dinner was a nightmare at times. She still will not use a fork to eat. My husband refers to this habit as the helen keller approach to eating. As dd has grown things just became more and more difficult and she became more and more defiant. Looking back we knew something wasn't right... . my older daughter didn't have any of these traits and was easy going... . high achiever etc... . hate to write all the negative stuff without saying she was a happy baby too... . had a great laugh and a killer smile... . was very brave and had no fear of doing activities like swimming. Very active kid and needed very little sleep.

[raytamtay3]

Even though the therapist she sees at the RTC she's at says she doesn't think DD has BPD, there were things that made DD different from others early on.  As a toddler she had behavioural issues at daycare. She would get up during nap time and be distruptive, would run around and wake up the other kids and just would not listen. At home she would not listen either, no matter what I did. And God forbid I tried to have an adult conversation. She wanted to be the center of attention and would be so disruptive I'd have to leave. Was very hyper. Seams in socks or tags in clothing bothered her to the point it was a battle to get her to school in grade school. Getting her up for school was a nightmare! She was rarely on time. In school she would have trouble keeping friends because she was too domineering. Later she got a thrill out of fighting. She is an adrenaline junkie.

[pessim-optimist]

Hello Turkish,  

I hear that my SD was a very sensitive, fussy baby, cried a lot and was very difficult to soothe. As she grew, she was also sensitive to tags, picky eater, sensitive to smells (still is). Rather shy, manipulating her younger sister to do things, and then watched how it would go. At the same time, stubborn and defiant. At first, she was cuddly, but by age 3 she became stiff and not liking physical touch (I suspect it has a lot to do with her traumatic r/s w/mom). Learning disabilities - lack of attention, mixed dominance (processing some things twice through her brain as a result; possibly caused by a head injury).

Yes, we can often trace deep into childhood that our kids were different, most often it's the high-sensitivity, often coupled with behavioral/learning problems.

What we could have done for them if we would have known then what we know now: lots of validation, very consistent parenting: good structure and good boundaries taught through positive reinforcement.

You will probably find excellent books on how to support your kids on the Co-parenting board, but also the book BOUNDARIES by H.Cloud and J.Townsend might be a godsend to you - it talks about the proper, healthy formation of boundaries in children in all of their developmental stages.

[spudsnsalsa]

In retrospect it is obvious that my BPDd16 had signs from the first day she arrived in our home at almost 3 years of age :'(

We 'assumed' it was adoption/attachment and as she was loving and 'attached' we did not get help early enough or aggressively enough for the rages and anxiety. The seeing rejection/abandonment in everything seemed logically to be a result of adoption back then but with puberty and then high school it has become so much MORE and while we do not have the drug/sex addictions we have chronic depression with multiple suicide attempts and impulsivity. She has always been the WORST sleeper... . seems to be a common theme from reading the posts above... . hard to let go and relax and then once asleep was a VERY LIGHT sleeper who would wake EVERY. SINGLE. NIGHT as I walked down the hallway towards my bed seeking my company to help soothe her just when I was exhausted and looking to sleep myself, UGH... . wish I had a few nights back to do over with what I know now! Even now she only gets 5-6 hours of sleep at the most! No SPD issues but OCD especially with her food and she too is a very MESSY eater who prefers her hands to utensils. The revolving friendships have ALWAYS been there but explained away when she was young with a myriad of excuses such as "just found different passions and grew apart". The anxiety became so profound that for YEARS that is all the T and pdoc could see and so that is all we treated... . with ZERO success using medications AND therapy. KNEW we had a problem when YOUNGER sister came along behind and did NOT respond to frustrations with rages, even though she was parented the same, and had the 'example' of older sister... . and has had the same core group of friends since 2nd grade!

 

[Turkish]

In retrospect it is obvious that my BPDd16 had signs from the first day she arrived in our home at almost 3 years of age :'(

We 'assumed' it was adoption/attachment and as she was loving and 'attached' we did not get help early enough or aggressively enough for the rages and anxiety

That's probable still correct. AJ Mahari, a professional member of this site and a self-described "recovered Borderline" talks of the "core abandonment wound" which happens at 1-2 years of age, rarely past 3. It is powerful enough that loving parenting alone may not be enough to overcome. You talked about your other daughter... . was she adopted too, or a biological child?

The abandonment wound can be severe, and the public is most aware of it n the sensationalized stories of Russian children, and from other former Eastern Bloc countries (the stories of Romanian orphans are heart breaking).

What is not given enough support, much less press, are domestic adoption struggles. I, too, was adopted, at 2.4 years of age. My mom was my fourth home by that point. Addict patents (my birth mother was a likely FAS, adopted off of an Indian reservation)--grandparents--foster care. I had in retrospect an avoidant attachment style, but then after a few months, my mom was surprised how well I attached (she having several BPD traits is a story for another place). We hung around a lot of adoptive families, and my mom related some of the tragic stories, probably age inappropriate for me at the time.

Its a wonderful thing you did, rescuing your daughter from an uncertain future. I'm sorry you are struggling with her so, but it sounds like you have done the best you could, and it's great you found your way here for support. You are a hero in my book.

Actually, all of you are.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[PyneappleDays]

Hi

It sounds like I came out of the same situation.  We lived in a shelter for a year to get way from DD father.    I left her father when she was about 3.  DD was always a little handful, but I was always told it was me.

When she started school around 4 years old I started noticing.  I had started asking question and asking for her to be diagnosed.  I was told she had a learning disability and needed Ritalin from the school.  My doctor said no she did not need the Ritalin.  Ok then what?  I never got an answer.  It was soo frustrating.

The school said one thing.  The doctor said another.  Then there was the problem with her father and the court system.  I don’t want to go there. 

I tried counselling, being assessed.  Then her father coaxed her to live with him witch made everything worst.  He said there was nothing wrong with her it was me. He said he would fix her.  His form of disciplining her was to move far away from everything including me and just clamp down on her.  Then there was the whole running away thing.  Etc.

I’m soo hoping they’ve learned something since it started showing up.   It’s not so when and how it started showing signs.  Right now it’s about how you handle it and wher you go from here.

Good luck.

[kellygirl601]

I should add that my daughter was in and out of hospital a lot when she was 4-5 months old.  Around 6 mos she was diagnosed with a subglottic hemangioma.  Basically, there was a tumor in her trachea that at this point took up 95% of her airway!  Luckily we have a couple of Drs. that started using lasers to remove this.  She had that done and became very sick from the other meds that went along with it.  She was in the hospital about a month and was intubated... talk about scary!  She then had to go back every few months and get scoped to make sure it wasn't growning back.  When she was around 2 she was released from the Dr.  I am very grateful for this surgery but I cant help wonder if that contributed to her issues.  She was home with the family for months, then in  no time was taken away.

[Reality]

The sensitivity to tags in clothing is very common for children who later develop BPD.  High sensitivity physically, as well as emotionally. 

Very Interesting.

Reality

[HealingSpirit]

Wow!  What a great question.  I wish I'd known about BPD when my dd was age 2.  (She's 17 now)  She always had a very low frustration tolerance, but she was not easily distracted when she wanted something (like to play in the dog's drinking water).  Simply telling her "No," and redirecting her would cause her to scream and cry, then bite herself on the back of her hand or wrist.  (Now, she secretly cuts herself.)

Another behavior we saw when she was 2 was her raging, inconsolable tantrums, which I learned were due to her becoming overstimulated. (Even as an infant, she had hours-long crying fits, but we thought it was colic.  We carried her and soothed her the best we could.  She couldn't soothe herself.  We tried that too.)  She had these "spill-over tantrums" after family gatherings, birthday parties, Chuck E. Cheese, amusement parks, and later, just having a bad day at school would send her into a melt-down before we even got home.  During these tantrums, she would rage, throw things, strip her bed, pull everything off her shelves, out of her drawers and toy box, and SCREAM at me to GET OUT!  Then, when I'd calmly leave, she'd SCREAM at me to COME BACK!  So, I'd calmly go back in and sit on her bed and offer to hold her until she calmed down, only to be told to GET OUT! again.  We went around in circles like that for an average of 2 hours, when it happened.  (Now, she's more sophisticated at the same double-bind she did as a toddler.)

In grade school, I learned through trial and error that attempting to go straight from school to any activity didn't work.  She needed to go straight home, melt down, cool off, and THEN go to her piano or horseback riding lesson.  We had to stop Scouting because the meetings were immediately after school, and she couldn't hold it together that long.

In Junior High, she became depressed.  About 2 years after she broke her ankle while "dancing and falling into a coffee table at a friend's house,"  she told me in therapy that the truth was, she got mad at her friend and to take out her frustration, she slammed a large rock onto her own ankle.

Throughout her childhood, she was literally traumatized to the point of PTSD from events that did not cause trauma to her friends or classmates.  (i.e. teachers making humiliating remarks, or handing back tests in score order-- As first and Fs last.)  She even misunderstood the intentions of her good teachers.  She twisted their words and mistook their posture and body language for disapproval.  Constructive feedback was a personal attack to her.  (And still is.) And I could go on all day with all the physical ailments that had no known cause. 

To help you with your young children, I recommend the book, "Raising Your Spirited Child" by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka.  But you're already ahead of the game and well prepared if you already know about BPD.  I wish I'd known about BPD, as I could have learned some valuable skills that would have helped a long time ago.  But, alas, we all do the best we can at the time.

[co.jo]

Oh jellibeans, I so remember the seams in the socks and the tags, but I had forgotten the hair. Every morning, trying to do her hair perfectly , and then her ripping out the elastic or headband and having a screaming fit. Those mornings were Hell, if you actually managed to get her in her clothes, then keep her hair in, you still had to get past the socks and shoes , meanwhile get 3 other younger kids ready, and she didn't want to go to school in the first place. We only made it some of the time. And I lost it many a morning.

[Turkish]

"Sometimes children’s tears, temper tantrums, and aggression are a result of being overwhelmed with feelings that they don’t know how to manage. For a child who is neurologically sensitive, physical sensations can be overwhelming. The idea of having to endure socks that itch or a bothersome seam all day can be unbearable, and when others don’t understand, the child is torn between her own experience and the impressions of others." The Power of Validation

Thank you for the recommendation. I am realizing that I invalidate my son a lot, even though he loves me a lot. If I don't change, things may get worse. He starts preschool on Monday, and I want to validate his experiences appropriately.

[Rapt Reader]

I am realizing that I invalidate my son a lot, even though he loves me a lot. If I don't change, things may get worse. He starts preschool on Monday, and I want to validate his experiences appropriately.

Wow, Turkish... .

By George, I think you've got it!   

How lucky for your son that you learned this when he is at such a young age!

[littleln]

So... I just happened across this thread on accident. I'm usually over int he family member forum posting about my BPD mother in law. The reason I'm posting here, is because in reading these posts... . most of these traits you describe in the young children or younger version of your child are autism spectrum traits. Generally when these things are seen in young children, with no other cause (no abandonment, no PTSD) they are neurological in nature (brain is actually wired differently) as opposed to BPD which is psychological as far as anyone knows right now (brain is typical, but person has psychological issues).

Just brining this up as it could be VERY useful for some of you and I would highly urge those of you with children young enough to seek an evaluation of autism spectrum NOW.

I was in a similar situation. My daughter... . sensory issues, communication issues, rages, all of it. She would misinterpret things, wouldn't understand things, fly into 3 hour long rages over nothing and bite herself. Would put things into her mouth. She is 6 and still doesn't use a fork. I was certain, myself, that she had caught a heaping dose of grandmas BPD. So I took her to some therapists. To some psychologists. More specialists. Finally a diagnosis of autism. Really? Yes.

The two diagnosis can look very very similar. But the underlying cause is very very different. Add to this that over time a child with autism can develop PTSD from mundane events and punishments and also develp BPD on top of the autism. They are so much more sensitive that it doesn't take much and essentially" tough" parenting alone can bring it on because they literally can't make sense of the rules and don't neccessarily connect hte punishment properly to thier action. Even my daughter, who is 6 and a genius and now in the 3rd grade... . we can't punish her the "same" as other kids. She literally doesn't understand it. For example, if she punches her little sister for getting in the way of the TV and then we punish her, she thinks she is being punished for watching TV. The punching of the sister was inconsequential and pragmatic. So we have to be very exacting and consistent. We also have to provide in depth explanations to her as to why it is wrong and that it is OK to watch TV, but not OK to punch people even if they are in your way and bothering her. Often even having to go so far as to roleplay the event, with her as the one being (pretend) punched before she gets it, if then.  Most typical kids at her age definately "get" this immediately. She still struggles with it.

Anyway all of the therapy and classes I have taken have helped immensly with her behavior. MEltdowns are now very very rare thankfully and she is generally cooperative and pleasent for the most part.

Anyway, in reading this thread, I had to say something. Sorry if I over stepped any boundries. I'm not trying to upset anyone.

[Turkish]

The reason I'm posting here, is because in reading these posts... . most of these traits you describe in the young children or younger version of your child are autism spectrum traits.

I used to think he was "autism lite" when he was a baby. I remember doing a checklist for D1 in the doctor's office of 20 traits, and S4 hit at least 3 of them; his sister, none.

I go back and forth on this, and it isn't causing any real problems yet. He might be on the borderline. Your comment about a child developing BPD on top of autism makes me think that could be quite a handful to deal with. It's funny you say your daughter is a genius... . our son is very sharp (the stuff he brought home from preschool yesterday is remedial to him by over a year). I'll be watching him like a hawk now that he has started school, and will engage with his uBPD mom as necessary to be on board with it as well.

The question of heritability is interesting. I came across this (sorry, no original link), which gives food for thought:

Inborn Biogenetic Temperaments

The degree to which Borderline Personality Disorder is caused by inborn factors called the —level of heritability“ is estimated to be 68%. This is about the same as for bipolar disorder.

What is believed to be inherited is not the disorder, per se, but the biogenetic dispositions, i.e. temperaments (or as noted above, phenotypes). Specifically, BPD can develop only in those children who are born with one or more of the three temperaments noted above: Affective Dysregulation, Impulsivity, and Disturbed Attachments. Such temperaments represent an individual‘s predisposition to emotionality, impulsivity, or relationship problems. For children with these temperaments, environmental factors can then significantly delimit or exacerbate these inborn traits.

Many studies have shown that disorders of emotional regulation or impulsivity are disproportionately higher in relatives of BPD patients. The affect/emotion temperament predisposes individuals to being easily upset, angry, depressed, and anxious. The impulsivity temperament predisposes individuals to act without thinking of the consequences, or even to purposefully seek dangerous activities. The disturbed attachment temperament probably starts with extreme sensitivity to separations or rejections. Another theory has proposed that patients with BPD are born with excessive aggression which is genetically based (as opposed to being environmental in origin). A child born with a placid or passive temperament would be unlikely to ever develop BPD.

The fact that girls are more affiliative, and boys more instrumental, is believed to explain why there is a much higher frequency of females (i.e., approximately 75%) with the BPD diagnosis. This suggests that the disorder may be primarily a disorder of relationships. In contrast, antisocial personality disorder occurs disproportionately in males (about 75% of those diagnosed with antisocial personality disorder are male) and is thought to be primarily a disorder of action.

Normal neurological function is needed for such complex tasks as impulse control, regulation of emotions, and perception of social cues. Studies of BPD patients have identified an increased incidence of neurological dysfunctions, often subtle, that are discernible on close examination. The largest portion of the brain is the cerebrum, the upper section, where information is interpreted coming in from the senses, and from which conscious thoughts and voluntary movements are thought to emanate. Preliminary studies have found that individuals with BPD have a diminished serotonergic response to stimulation in these areas of the cerebrum and that the lower levels of brain activity may promote impulsive behavior. The limbic system, located at the center of the brain, is sometimes thought of as —the emotional brain“, and consists of the amygdala, hippocampus, thalamus, hypothalamus, and parts of the brain stem. There is evidence that the volume of the amgydala and hippocampus portions of the brain, so critical for emotional functioning, are smaller in those with BPD. It is not clear whether such neurological irregularities have either genetic or environmental sources.

In summary, research indicates that individuals who have difficulty with impulse control and aggression have reduced levels of activity in their brains in a number of key locations. It is theorized that in persons with BPD, mild to moderate impairments in several systems result in —errors“ in the gathering, dissemination, and interpretation of data, and they are consequently more likely to respond with acts of impulsivity or aggression. ~ John Gunderson, MD (2006)

[HealingSpirit]

Wow, LittleIn,

I wish I'd known this long ago... .

The two diagnosis can look very very similar. But the underlying cause is very very different. Add to this that over time a child with autism can develop PTSD from mundane events and punishments and also develop BPD on top of the autism. They are so much more sensitive that it doesn't take much and essentially" tough" parenting alone can bring it on because they literally can't make sense of the rules and don't necessarily connect the punishment properly to their action.

I'm going to print this out and show it to my DD's psychologist.  This fits my experience with my DD to the letter.

And Turkish, Thank you for sharing that wonderful article on Inborn Temperament.  Mary Sheedy Kurcinka's books delve into the temperament research and give tools to parents of younger children to help with the challenges that come with children at the higher end of the sensitivity spectrum. Her books validated what I was dealing with where none of the other moms I knew at the time (nor any other books) had any advice on 2-3-hour tantrums for 2-year-olds.  Kurcinka explains several in-born temperament traits and great tools to deal with all of them.  I can't recommend her books highly enough. "Raising Your Spirited Child" and "Kids, Parents, and Power Struggles."  I'm sure you'll be able to put her tools into practice with your young ones.

I still want to explore the autism possibility.  My DD didn't quite fit the autism profile when she was younger, though she WAS (and still is) pretty high on Kurcinka's "Spirited" scale.  DH has Aspbergers, which we did not know when DD was young, but we know now.  It fits.  The only thing that doesn't fit is that DD was very attached and engaging as a young child.  She had no typical issues that stood out as autistic, though she has some now.  This idea begs more consideration. 

 

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Reality]

Littleln, Turkish and others:

Gunderson talks about research-based neurological differences in pwBPD.  Littleln's child was dx'd with Autism Spectrum Disorder.  

I wonder if BPD and Autism Soectrum Disirder have similar neurological underpinnings.  I wonder if only those with Autism Spectrum Disorder develop BPD.  I wonder if there is any research on this.  

Any person I have known who has BPD has been highly gifted.  

Any info would be appreciated.

Reality

[Reality]

Wow, LittleIn,

I wish I'd known this long ago... .

The two diagnosis can look very very similar. But the underlying cause is very very different. Add to this that over time a child with autism can develop PTSD from mundane events and punishments and also develop BPD on top of the autism. They are so much more sensitive that it doesn't take much and essentially" tough" parenting alone can bring it on because they literally can't make sense of the rules and don't necessarily connect the punishment properly to their action.

I'm going to print this out and show it to my DD's psychologist.  This fits my experience with my DD to the letter.


I still want to explore the autism possibility.  My DD didn't quite fit the autism profile when she was younger, though she WAS (and still is) pretty high on Kurcinka's "Spirited" scale.  DH has Aspbergers, which we did not know when DD was young, but we know now.  It fits.  The only thing that doesn't fit is that DD was very attached and engaging as a young child.  She had no typical issues that stood out as autistic, though she has some now.  This idea begs more consideration. 

 

As a child, my son never raged, mind you, somehow I knew how to mirror him and my parenting style was rather atypical.  Neither of my children ever had tantrums, ever.   Yet, my son who developed BPD was clearly not a typical child.  Very witty at an unusually young age.  He would sit for hours before he could crawl, just happily observing. 

I will never forget the time he told me when he was 10

"Mum, there is a boy in our school, whom no-one understands, but I understand him."  "Oh, I replied.  "What is he like?"  "He has a special teacher.  He is autistic."

Highly-sensitive people, Autism, BPD... . worth exploring.

Reality

[pessim-optimist]

I wonder if BPD and Autism Spectrum Disorder have similar neurological underpinnings.  I wonder if only those with Autism Spectrum Disorder develop BPD.  I wonder if there is any research on this.  

There has been research that confirms biological predisposition and also statistically, certain clusters of illnesses  run in the families (for example a father might be bipolar, daughter might develop BPD, her brother might be ADHD, and one of their children might be on the Autism Spectrum). However, I haven't heard of any information suggesting that only people on the Autism Spectrum develop BPD. That would mean that every person w/BPD is also on the Autism Spectrum, which I don't think is the case.