report card back, DD failed 9th grade

[DisneyMom]

I knew it was coming. This year DD started 9th grade at a large neighborhood HS. Less than a month into the year, she began a series of 3 hospitalizations. No credit for 1st quarter. Mid-November she began the school at her residential treatment center, and after a rocky adjustment, did quite well. We pulled her out of RTC in April. Of course, RTC had no homework outside of the school day, so it was easy to get As and Bs. She is very intelligent and very capable, but she just won't put in a sustained effort. 4th quarter we had her home and she started her in a charter school, partial on-line program. She gave us all the same speeches about school being her number one priority, we were going to be so proud of her, of course she was caught up on her work, but JUST like in prior schools she attended, she did not execute and did not do the work in the end. She broke down and cried to me the last week because she knew she was going to fail. So I guess she starts 9th grade all over again this fall. I'm feeling discouraged that she will ever graduate or become self-supportive. So sad. She was a straight A top student in 5th and 6th grade before her emotional health started failing. What works in supporting a BPD teen's education? I'm out of ideas.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Being Mindful]

Hi DisneyMom,

I don't think we have had a chance to meet. Welcome to the parent's board.

I'm so sorry to hear how your are suffering. The loss of dreams and the loss of our kids not achieving typical milestones are so hard to take. I'm glad you are here seeking support and I look forward to getting to know you better.

You were asking questions about support in the education process... . I'm wondering does your DD have an IEP or 504?

Looking forward to hearing from you.

Being Mindful

[femom]

I'm so sorry that your family if confronting this situation. I would second the suggestion of requesting evaluation for an IEP. Please don't wait until September to do this.  I also think it would be very useful to have a psychoeducational evaluation done. Even though you might have to pay for this, it will give you information that in my opinion, is priceless.   I think many of our BPD children have executive functioning deficits (google that) that don't really affect them until they reach high school or even college since many of our kids are very bright and develop coping strategies that work through elementary and middle school.

[tristesse]

Hi Disneymom

I'm sorry that you  are going through this, and I am sorry that your dd is also.

I actually enrolled my dd in the local alternative school when she was in the 9th grade, all of the kids there were a little different, they march to their own drummer, so to speak. SHE did amazingly well, and graduated on time. The teachers are a special breed of people, they have unique methods of teaching and appreciate the differences in their students. I don't know if you have any such programs or schools where you are ta, but I recommend looking into it.

keep your head up.

[HealingSpirit]

Dear DisneyMom,

I'm running out of time to post, but I wanted to tell you we went thru the SAME thing with our DD.  She muddled along until Junior year, then she took the CA proficiency exam and got her GED.  She started junior college the second semester of her junior year, and passed both classes.  She's still muddling along, and not accomplishing anything near what I thought she'd be capable of. 

I just wanted to wish you hugs and peace.  Home school was recommended to us when our DD was in Junior high.  But, I knew I couldn't handle that, so our DD muddled along.

Kudos to you for doing all that you're already doing!  Hang in there!

[madmom]

I agree with everyone, that the school should work with you on this to find something that should work to support her.  I don't know how it is in your state, but where I live, if the parent requests an evaluation then the school district must do it and within six weeks, if the school itself takes the lead, it can take a LONG time for them to get something done.  Good luck.

[pessim-optimist]

I am so sorry, both you and your dd must be dismayed... .

I agree with others that getting the IEP or 504 started would be a really good idea.

Would your dd be motivated to try to catch up over the summer? Are there any options for your dd to do summer school?

Also, I don't have much experience with it, but I have seen ads about the individualized online public school program (you can find it here: www.k12.com/). It may or may not be something for your dd, but you lose nothing by researching it.

[femom]

@tr - the law that covers special education is a federal law called IDEA.  There are very specific time frames for completing evaluations and holding meetings once the process has been initiated.

original poster - check to see if your school district has a parent advocate or a parent coordinator who can walk you through and support you through the process.  Your daughter is entitled to a free and appropriate education and it is the responsibility of your school district to provide that.  If traditional high school isn't working well, they need to provide supports to make it work or provide alternatives.

[peace in steel town]

dear disneymom, you didn't mention what your daughters' issues were, if there were any. Our dd is currently on her third trip through grade 11, and she's going on 20. She had poor organizational skills, lack of drive, and a very hard time focusing on what she's doing when her emotions are in turmoil. She was doing pretty good, until she ran away over the Christmas break, and was told she couldn't come back home to live with us ( she was staying with her brother), then the bottom fell out, and her marks dropped 40 to 50 %. Figuring out the problem is half the solution.