Threats

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

I've moved from Staying to Undecided.  I just don't know how much longer I can really live through all this.

Unfortunately I am pregnant with our 2nd child, so it makes the decision so much harder to make.

My uBPDh is constantly complaining that I do not give him enough credit and do not give him the attention he needs.  Last night he claimed that I have never (in the 10 years we've been together) given him the attention or credit he needs.  He acknowledges that he knows that he has to change things about himself before he can request that and promised (for the 100 millionth time) to be a better husband/father/partner.  He said this to me in a threatening way telling me "I'm going to be the perfect husband from here on out, and then when you can't satisfy my needs when I'm doing everything I'm supposed to, I will be seeking attention elsewhere"

He proceeded to give me an example of not giving him credit as a few weeks ago he introduced me to a new son that is out.  A few days ago another artist on instagram posted a video dancing to that song.  Because I didn't "give him credit" for introducing to me to a song first that another artist I like was dancing to... .I didn't give him credit.  Does that even make sense to anyone?~!

After promising to be the "best husband" so we can see "I'm the real problem" he slept on the couch.  This morning I had to be at another site than where I usually work to teach a training.  This site is almost 2 hours away (my normal commute is 5 mins) and I asked him to bring our son to school since he's off for the rest of the summer.  He informed me last night that he wasn't able to (he had nothing else to do though).  So when I woke up I tried to get him to help get our son ready.  He pretended to sleep.  I then asked him where my wedding ring was (he took it a few days ago since I haven't been wearing it unless I'm in public... .my fingers are swollen being pregnant and all) and he claimed he didn't know where he put it.

Way to be the perfect husband!  I'm just at my wits end.  I do not want this relationship anymore... .but I'm not sure how to leave it.

In the last 10 years he has put me through every type abuse possible at one time or another.  For the first 7.5 years or so he wasn't around much.  (We were in college/just out of college) He was living his own life, and cheating on me left and right.  His cheating even produced a child with another woman and I still forgave him.  Since he has stopped cheating in the last few years dealing with him daily has become almost unbareable.  His constant mood swings are always my fault somehow.  I can never show him enough attention, I can never be there for him enough.  Yet my entire life revolves around him and his needs.  Forget the fact he's never there for me EVER, forget the fact that daily he abuses me in some way (mentally, emotionally, financially, and in the past physically).  All of that are just things that have happened to him, but at the end of the day the only thing that he sees is he is not getting enough.

I am ready to let go, but terrified and not sure how to do it.  I'm scared to leave with our son and another one on the way.  I'm scared of how I will make it financially.  Our sons entire schedule will change since he goes to the school my H works at and wouldn't be able to go there anymore if I move.  My H watches our son during the summer when he's not in camp, since he's off and I know if I leave he'll make that impossible. 

I just don't know what to do anymore.  Where do I start?  How do I resist when I get home and he's trying to hug and kiss me and pull me back into his trap, and once he has me with my guard down again belittles me for not giving him enough attention?  How do I stand strong?

I feel so weak right now... .but it feels good to get all this out.

[LilHurt420]

I've moved from Staying to Undecided.  I just don't know how much longer I can really live through all this.

Unfortunately I am pregnant with our 2nd child, so it makes the decision so much harder to make.

My uBPDh is constantly complaining that I do not give him enough credit and do not give him the attention he needs.  Last night he claimed that I have never (in the 10 years we've been together) given him the attention or credit he needs.  He acknowledges that he knows that he has to change things about himself before he can request that and promised (for the 100 millionth time) to be a better husband/father/partner.  He said this to me in a threatening way telling me "I'm going to be the perfect husband from here on out, and then when you can't satisfy my needs when I'm doing everything I'm supposed to, I will be seeking attention elsewhere"

He proceeded to give me an example of not giving him credit as a few weeks ago he introduced me to a new son that is out.  A few days ago another artist on instagram posted a video dancing to that song.  Because I didn't "give him credit" for introducing to me to a song first that another artist I like was dancing to... .I didn't give him credit.  Does that even make sense to anyone?~!

After promising to be the "best husband" so we can see "I'm the real problem" he slept on the couch.  This morning I had to be at another site than where I usually work to teach a training.  This site is almost 2 hours away (my normal commute is 5 mins) and I asked him to bring our son to school since he's off for the rest of the summer.  He informed me last night that he wasn't able to (he had nothing else to do though).  So when I woke up I tried to get him to help get our son ready.  He pretended to sleep.  I then asked him where my wedding ring was (he took it a few days ago since I haven't been wearing it unless I'm in public... .my fingers are swollen being pregnant and all) and he claimed he didn't know where he put it.

Way to be the perfect husband!  I'm just at my wits end.  I do not want this relationship anymore... .but I'm not sure how to leave it.

In the last 10 years he has put me through every type abuse possible at one time or another.  For the first 7.5 years or so he wasn't around much.  (We were in college/just out of college) He was living his own life, and cheating on me left and right.  His cheating even produced a child with another woman and I still forgave him.  Since he has stopped cheating in the last few years dealing with him daily has become almost unbareable.  His constant mood swings are always my fault somehow.  I can never show him enough attention, I can never be there for him enough.  Yet my entire life revolves around him and his needs.  Forget the fact he's never there for me EVER, forget the fact that daily he abuses me in some way (mentally, emotionally, financially, and in the past physically).  All of that are just things that have happened to him, but at the end of the day the only thing that he sees is he is not getting enough.

I am ready to let go, but terrified and not sure how to do it.  I'm scared to leave with our son and another one on the way.  I'm scared of how I will make it financially.  Our sons entire schedule will change since he goes to the school my H works at and wouldn't be able to go there anymore if I move.  My H watches our son during the summer when he's not in camp, since he's off and I know if I leave he'll make that impossible. 

I just don't know what to do anymore.  Where do I start?  How do I resist when I get home and he's trying to hug and kiss me and pull me back into his trap, and once he has me with my guard down again belittles me for not giving him enough attention?  How do I stand strong?

I feel so weak right now... .but it feels good to get all this out.