Sex-less often, other oddities

[anxiety5]

Wondering if anyone has had a similar experience... .

I have been with an undiagnosed BPD for a year. The sex was very frequent in the beginning and intense. Amazing. I'm aware of this typical preface to a relationship with a BPD. As time has gone on, her interest has decreased. She never initiates it, or very very rarely. She does not totally deprive or deny sex but it's just less fun when I feel like I have to ask/wait for such encounters. When they do occur, she has no interest in foreplay. She is interested in only one position and essentially once she is satisfied, it's over leaving me to have to take care of myself. She loves to cuddle, something I've read a lot of BPD's dislike, along the lines of the whole fear of intimacy thing. I would say I'm typical in that regard, along the lines of most guys. I love her, so of course I enjoy holding her, or having her reach out and grab me in the middle of the night. Those things are great. But I feel like she almost enjoys teasing me in those moments. She will place her hand in certain places, etc almost as if to give me a hint only to turn me down if I try and do anything. I know she is satisfied when we do have it, my gosh I know EXACTLY what she likes. I almost feel like I was trained like a dog on how to do everything the way she likes it. It's not as if I'm not into it. I try romantic nights, being spontaneous, being aggressive or being more reserved about it, all angles and same result. All from a person who was hyper sexual when we first met. Moreover, when she's been drinking she says some crazy stuff that I don't mind but sometimes I feel it's a window into her mind. All her fantasies involve her being in control. And she goes crazy if there is any talk about me basically coming back to her in the future or being unable to turn her down in whatever scenario. She told me her last relationship they rarely if ever had sex. The thing is she's gorgeous. Like, drop dead. And in the times she was into it in the beginning, she is very much passionate so I know it's there. I read an article about marriage being the end game to a BPD not the beginning. That worries me. I don't want to become entrapped in a sexless marriage in the future, or be in some transactional situation with regards to that. Just wondering if anyone has had similar experiences.

[Samuel S.]

Anxiety5, yep, been there, done that! You are right. She was in control to have frequent sex at the beginning of your relationship and now is none for your satisfaction. It is control on her part. If you try to show that you are in control, it is a big turn off for her. It's kind of like a bait and switch situation. She lured you with sex and now is keeping you from being satisfied. She is very selfish, and she is being very unfair about your needs.

Think of it in this way. What if you were the one to do the things that she is doing. She would be sex-less. She would be angry. She would be frustrated. Indeed, you have every right to be angry and frustrated. If you are married, when the time is right for the both of you, the both of you deserve to be satisfied.

For her to withhold you from your satisfaction can and will lead to other problems.

Under the circumstances, having a tactful discussion with her can possibly work. If you have done that and if that has not worked, then, seeing a couple counselor is important to consider. If she refuses to do so, she is again being very selfish, and you deserve the better!

[Aussie0zborn]

Wow. She got you hooked, didn't she? I've heard this story before and I would suggest its part of the game to get you hooked and manipulated. pwBPD can very cruel in very subtle ways.

It doesn't matter how drop dead gorgeous she is, or how good the sex was in the beginning, this is what she is really about.

This is not something you can easily change and one might wonder why you would need this in your life. Sometimes it's best to think with our other head and leave the little guy out of the decision making process.

[nowwhatz]

Anxiety,

I am in a similiar situaion.  I am not sure that they lure you in with sex but I suppose this can happen with a BPD or non BPD (classic example of a woman who stops having sex after committmen/marriage etc).

Is she the type where she needs 99.9% of your attention in order for her to maintain any sexual interest?

[anxiety5]

I actually find I get more physical intimacy, when I maintain a healthy distance emotionally. If I'm too enmeshed with her, she will not only deprive, she will do stuff like put her arm around me at night while I sleep on my side, right on certain areas, make sure I'm awake enough to realize she is there, and then once anything kind of starts, she will roll over and go to bed. It's maddening but I have wised up SO much. Ive learned it's opposite day all the time. So if I grab her hand and say, no no... .I'm so tired, not now. Next thing you know, she is ripping my clothes off. But if I get upset that she stops, she will go out of her way to ensure nothing happens. In short, I'ver realized it's a game of manipulation. So, I just play it back

[hurting300]

See mine was different, she wanted it multiple times a day... even the day she disappeared she hit it twice...

[workinprogress]

Anxiety, it will get worse as time passes.

Mine lured me in with non-stop sex.  Then, after marriage, kids, and building a home, it ended. 

It was one position, and one position only, approximately 2 to 4 times a year.

If I voiced any displeasure about this, I was told that the family was more important and made to feel embarrassed for wanting sex.

Oh, and I do want to add, when I gave up and pulled away from her, the sex would suddenly start up again.

[Samuel S.]

After loads and loads of sex before and the first of our marriage, it went down to once a week and then once a month. Then, she told me that she felt like my daughter during sex. You see, I am 17 years older than she is. So, that was a major turnoff for me. So, I am completely turned off with the idea of having sex with her. This kind of verbal abuse and the other verbal abuse situations have really hurt me to the core. I resumed therapy, but I am drastically hurt.

[anxiety5]

workinprogress-

Yep. You know how I discovered that? One particular week I had a really bad sinus infection. It was a "dry" infection. Basically my sinuses were inflamed and trapping everything inside my head. Felt like my head was a cross between in a balloon or inside a vice grip. I say this, because there were no visible signs I was sick. I wasn't sneezing, runny nose, coughing etc. I slept at her house as I did most nights, and for 7 nights in a row I was like lights out at 7pm. She'd come to bed at 10-11 and I was so out of it, I did not turn to hold her as I normally do, try to initiate anything, etc.  I was just out. What's funny and another oddity of BPD, I feel like they don't retain memory. I told her I had a nasty sinus infection, but it's like she'd forget each day because I wasn't coughing or showing physical symptoms. By night 4 she was saying as we watched tv before bed, I felt her turn to look over at me every few seconds. She said "you don't love me anymore" I literally laughed. Thought she was joking. On the morning of nights 5 through like 8 of having this sickness, she tried to initiate sex with me for the first time in months. What's more, I turned her down. I felt like crap! Back off! ha ha. By day 8, she was practically self pleasuring while embracing my leg. It was as if I had inadvertently activated they hyper sexual phase.

There are lessons to be learned in the above. There were other times I tried to "not care" but never got the same response as the week I was sick. I think these ultra intuitive people can read when we are acting like we don't care vs genuinely not caring. I was so freaking sick that week, my head hurt so much, I honestly, truly, did not care about her shows, her day, her anything. I had one goal. Make it through work and get to bed asap after. She honed in on this genuine detachment I must have been showing and it activated an emergency response in her to try and secure me again.

[Mr. Solo]

Yes, I have experienced that. One thing we used to argue about, even when things seemed well the first 13 years of our marriage, was sex. She hardly ever initiated it. She would say she liked me to. Okay, well, then when I would she would reject me and complain I was pressuring her. It was a catch 22. After she had her affair with a woman, oh she was good to go all the time for a few months. LOL. However, she went back to the way she was eventually.

The frustrating thing for me, especially the last few years, was she would change her preferences often. One day, it was okay if I walked up behind her and kissed her neck. The next, she was tired of me doing it. The next, she wanted to know why I didn't do that anymore. She would also make excuses such as if we went to bed together more often we would do it more often. So, I started going to bed with her. Then it became she liked sex in the morning better. So, I waited until mornings. Then it was she was sleeping and tired and how dare I wake her or bother her in the morning.  It was a constant guessing game for me. By the time she left, she was putting pillows between us in bed or she would "fall asleep" on the couch or somewhere other than our bed. She even went as far as telling her friends I forced sex on her. I didn't and never would do that. Hell, most of the time I was on eggshells so I was constantly asking, "You really want to, right? You aren't just doing this because I want to, right?"

[outside9x]

WOW,

The cuddling.  I didn't know that.  She rarely like to cuddle in bed. Hold her at times , sure, but spooning etc no.   She loved to be rubbed like her legs and feet etc, and she liked rubbing her hands in my hair and stuff, but not going into things too much, it was about control.  She wanted me to have a certain length of hair etc, and wear it a certain way or she be hopping mad.  I mean enraged.  It causes her to scream and punch me while driving my car on the expressway.  Yeah, and I still think about her, but it's over.  Crazy of me, I know.

[vortex of confusion]

Sex has been a problem in our relationship from day one. Before we got married, things were fine. It seemed like as soon as we said "I do", he said "I don't" cause he preferred porn. I am not talking about a normal guy looking at porn on occasion. I would wake up in the morning to him looking at porn and taking care of himself. I would ask him why he didn't try to wake me up. He made it sound like he didn't wake me up because he was trying to be considerate of my need for sleep. There was always an excuse as to why he couldn't or wouldn't initiate things. He made it perfectly clear that he wanted it and wanted it a lot but things wouldn't work for whatever reason. Before kids, he was tired or had his mind on other things. After kids, the kids became an excuse. I would put the kids to bed by myself and would then try to stay awake so that we could have some intimate time together. Nothing I did worked. I felt like he wanted it but not with me. At one point, he told me that he was bisexual. He had an experience with that and then decided that he wasn't bisexual at all.

The real kicker is that I strayed. All I did was talk to a guy online for two days. I felt so guilty about it that I told my husband immediately. Instead of him getting upset, he got excited and actually encouraged me to have an affair. Of course, the stipulation was that I had go be with the other guy and then come home and tell him about it. When I started not wanting to tell him, he got upset and emailed the guys wife. That led to me finding another guy. The same thing happened. That guy would feed me stuff to tell my husband. When my husband decided to take his sex addiction seriously, he told me that I couldn't talk to any of my friends any more. This was a year later. He pretty much forced me off on any guy that would, um, be physical with me and would then tell me to cut things off with them the minute he got unhappy with how things were or weren't going.

It baffles me how a man could put his wife into a situation like that even after she cried and protested. And then, he gets upset with me because I am still talking to one of the guys that I had an affair with after he is the one that would go so far as to take questionable pictures of me and then use my phone to text them to my friend.

[workinprogress]

Sex has been a problem in our relationship from day one. Before we got married, things were fine. It seemed like as soon as we said "I do", he said "I don't" cause he preferred porn. I am not talking about a normal guy looking at porn on occasion. I would wake up in the morning to him looking at porn and taking care of himself. I would ask him why he didn't try to wake me up. He made it sound like he didn't wake me up because he was trying to be considerate of my need for sleep. There was always an excuse as to why he couldn't or wouldn't initiate things. He made it perfectly clear that he wanted it and wanted it a lot but things wouldn't work for whatever reason. Before kids, he was tired or had his mind on other things. After kids, the kids became an excuse. I would put the kids to bed by myself and would then try to stay awake so that we could have some intimate time together. Nothing I did worked. I felt like he wanted it but not with me. At one point, he told me that he was bisexual. He had an experience with that and then decided that he wasn't bisexual at all.

The real kicker is that I strayed. All I did was talk to a guy online for two days. I felt so guilty about it that I told my husband immediately. Instead of him getting upset, he got excited and actually encouraged me to have an affair. Of course, the stipulation was that I had go be with the other guy and then come home and tell him about it. When I started not wanting to tell him, he got upset and emailed the guys wife. That led to me finding another guy. The same thing happened. That guy would feed me stuff to tell my husband. When my husband decided to take his sex addiction seriously, he told me that I couldn't talk to any of my friends any more. This was a year later. He pretty much forced me off on any guy that would, um, be physical with me and would then tell me to cut things off with them the minute he got unhappy with how things were or weren't going.

It baffles me how a man could put his wife into a situation like that even after she cried and protested. And then, he gets upset with me because I am still talking to one of the guys that I had an affair with after he is the one that would go so far as to take questionable pictures of me and then use my phone to text them to my friend.

Nothing they do makes any damn sense.  My wife used to act like she wanted me to get involved with her best friend.  Well, her best friend always made advances on me.  Finally, after years of neglect from my wife, I caved.  Well, after it happened she raged about it and wanted a divorce.

You can't win.

Another thing, I remember my wife making fun of other housewives for being "prudes."  Yet, these very same women that she made fun of did more sexually with their husbands than my wife did with me.

[hurting300]

Sex has been a problem in our relationship from day one. Before we got married, things were fine. It seemed like as soon as we said "I do", he said "I don't" cause he preferred porn. I am not talking about a normal guy looking at porn on occasion. I would wake up in the morning to him looking at porn and taking care of himself. I would ask him why he didn't try to wake me up. He made it sound like he didn't wake me up because he was trying to be considerate of my need for sleep. There was always an excuse as to why he couldn't or wouldn't initiate things. He made it perfectly clear that he wanted it and wanted it a lot but things wouldn't work for whatever reason. Before kids, he was tired or had his mind on other things. After kids, the kids became an excuse. I would put the kids to bed by myself and would then try to stay awake so that we could have some intimate time together. Nothing I did worked. I felt like he wanted it but not with me. At one point, he told me that he was bisexual. He had an experience with that and then decided that he wasn't bisexual at all.

The real kicker is that I strayed. All I did was talk to a guy online for two days. I felt so guilty about it that I told my husband immediately. Instead of him getting upset, he got excited and actually encouraged me to have an affair. Of course, the stipulation was that I had go be with the other guy and then come home and tell him about it. When I started not wanting to tell him, he got upset and emailed the guys wife. That led to me finding another guy. The same thing happened. That guy would feed me stuff to tell my husband. When my husband decided to take his sex addiction seriously, he told me that I couldn't talk to any of my friends any more. This was a year later. He pretty much forced me off on any guy that would, um, be physical with me and would then tell me to cut things off with them the minute he got unhappy with how things were or weren't going.

It baffles me how a man could put his wife into a situation like that even after she cried and protested. And then, he gets upset with me because I am still talking to one of the guys that I had an affair with after he is the one that would go so far as to take questionable pictures of me and then use my phone to text them to my friend.

Nothing they do makes any damn sense.  My wife used to act like she wanted me to get involved with her best friend.  Well, her best friend always made advances on me.  Finally, after years of neglect from my wife, I caved.  Well, after it happened she raged about it and wanted a divorce.

You can't win.

Another thing, I remember my wife making fun of other housewives for being "prudes."  Yet, these very same women that she made fun of did more sexually with their husbands than my wife did with me.

not even joking, but my ex wanted to watch me have sex with another woman. Wow.

[vortex of confusion]

Nothing they do makes any damn sense.  My wife used to act like she wanted me to get involved with her best friend.  Well, her best friend always made advances on me.  Finally, after years of neglect from my wife, I caved.  Well, after it happened she raged about it and wanted a divorce.

You can't win.

Another thing, I remember my wife making fun of other housewives for being "prudes."  Yet, these very same women that she made fun of did more sexually with their husbands than my wife did with me.

Wow, I am so glad that I am not the only one with some of these experiences. When I was talking to guys online, I would get on their nerves because I would ask them stuff like, "What can I do to get my husband interested in me?" They would stay stuff like, "Show up naked with a six pack". They would be pretty lighthearted and would joke because to them it seemed completely nuts that my husband had a wife like me that wasn't being a prude and was willing to experiment and try new things yet would try to pawn her off on other men for some weird reason.

There was a huge red flag (aside from the porn) when we were first married. We were in grad school together and there was a block party. We were both there. I thought we were both drinking and having fun. At some point, he disappeared. I had had way too much to drink to be left alone. I blacked out and came to in a very compromising position with a neighbor. Once I realized what was going on, I put a stop to it immediately and started asking the guy where was my husband. I ran off to find my husband. At one point, the guy told my husband, "You sure are lucky cause your wife sure does love you." I felt so guilty and horrible about that night. It ate at me for years. Once I put all of the pieces together, I figured out a couple of things. First, my husband disappeared because he had snuck home to look at porn and take care of himself. Second, my husband admitted to being outside watching the whole time. Third, when I came clean and told my husband, he made me perform a sexual favor for him so he would forget about the whole incident.

[workinprogress]

Nothing they do makes any damn sense.  My wife used to act like she wanted me to get involved with her best friend.  Well, her best friend always made advances on me.  Finally, after years of neglect from my wife, I caved.  Well, after it happened she raged about it and wanted a divorce.

You can't win.

Another thing, I remember my wife making fun of other housewives for being "prudes."  Yet, these very same women that she made fun of did more sexually with their husbands than my wife did with me.

Wow, I am so glad that I am not the only one with some of these experiences. When I was talking to guys online, I would get on their nerves because I would ask them stuff like, "What can I do to get my husband interested in me?" They would stay stuff like, "Show up naked with a six pack". They would be pretty lighthearted and would joke because to them it seemed completely nuts that my husband had a wife like me that wasn't being a prude and was willing to experiment and try new things yet would try to pawn her off on other men for some weird reason.

There was a huge red flag (aside from the porn) when we were first married. We were in grad school together and there was a block party. We were both there. I thought we were both drinking and having fun. At some point, he disappeared. I had had way too much to drink to be left alone. I blacked out and came to in a very compromising position with a neighbor. Once I realized what was going on, I put a stop to it immediately and started asking the guy where was my husband. I ran off to find my husband. At one point, the guy told my husband, "You sure are lucky cause your wife sure does love you." I felt so guilty and horrible about that night. It ate at me for years. Once I put all of the pieces together, I figured out a couple of things. First, my husband disappeared because he had snuck home to look at porn and take care of himself. Second, my husband admitted to being outside watching the whole time. Third, when I came clean and told my husband, he made me perform a sexual favor for him so he would forget about the whole incident.

This makes me think that they stuck something in your drink and planned it.

[Lucky One]

Hell, most of the time I was on eggshells so I was constantly asking, "You really want to, right? You aren't just doing this because I want to, right?"

Very Considerate of you - but still walking on Eggshells. As you say.

The things we have to suffer for "Untrue Love".

Amazing!

How's things going, with you, NOW.

[workinprogress]

Hell, most of the time I was on eggshells so I was constantly asking, "You really want to, right? You aren't just doing this because I want to, right?"

I went through the very same stuff.  When I would touch my wife on the shoulder or something, I would say, "I'm not trying anything sexual," because she would get so mad.

[Mr. Solo]

Hell, most of the time I was on eggshells so I was constantly asking, "You really want to, right? You aren't just doing this because I want to, right?"

Very Considerate of you - but still walking on Eggshells. As you say.

The things we have to suffer for "Untrue Love".

Amazing!

How's things going, with you, NOW.

We are separated so I don't worry about that right now.

[ReluctantSurvivor]

My exBPDgf was a dream come true initially.  The more commitment I gave in the relationship, the colder she became.  In the last year she would not initiate or enjoy physical contact.  Intercourse was physically painful for her.  There where a few rare times where she initiated sex while asleep and it was great.  There was a concious block that would shut her down if it started any other way.   Sadly I think there was a history of abuse.  She hinted at that once but I did not pry for more information.  I had just come to accept that intimacy was not in the cards.  She was either anhedonic or worse hurt by contact.

[anxiety5]

Two things:

1) There has been as I mentioned, zero passion and almost celibacy between us at a growing rate. The thing is, I realized that her overwhelming seduction is probably the glue that held us together. I say this because as the mood shifts have continued, and zero intimacy or passion or even interest from her, It has actually kind of broken her spell over me. Sadly, her seduction was what made me tolerate everything else. That's not to say I'm some pig who only wants physical contact. You guys have no idea how much I have selflessly given to this person with zero to little reciprocation. What I mean is, I'm a non. Sex means something to me. It's intimate. It's  powerful. It's passionate. It's the person I love. How could it not? In the beginning she was so much fun. There was this spark between us and she had this passion in her smile, and in her eyes. As those have died out (as I got closer with her) It's broken the spell over me. It's made it easier to emotionally detach. I don't even argue with her anymore. This brings me to my second point... .

2) What is it like being painted black? We have been together a year. There were lots of ups and downs, but we always had a passion, an energy for each other. She was demanding, and I had a surplus of myself to give. She wanted all my time, I was happy to give it. When we'd have a rough day, or rough week, we would be able to get over it. She'd tell me she needed me. We would make up. We just passed one year a week ago. There has been calm for 2 months. Out of the blue this weekend, her mood shifted. I could sense it. When apart, her texts were hollow, infrequent. Her fuse became very short. I started to get that walking on egg shell feeling when approaching any conversation. She cheated on me early in our relationship. I'm not a total doormat though, as I'm assertive and blew up over this. I broke up with her and had no reservations about ripping into her for the lies, deceit and the way she treated me. She went on her best behavior and I the sucker, let her back in. The thing is I really did a lot of personal work, to learn to trust again and to get over it. It was a co-worker. So this past week she started getting short, more agitated. I went over her place Sunday and she accidentally locked herself out of the house, was crying, ranting and raving about not being able to handle her job, her house, etc. It was bizarre, but I did my best to sooth her and calm her down. To put out a few fires and help where I could. She got sick the past few days with a bad cold. Hasn't been feeling great. I was sitting with her on the couch yesterday and out of the blue she goes "Can I tell you something without you getting all mad?" I said, sure. She proceeds to tell me this story about her co-worker the guy she cheated with. It was a totally pointless story. How he was upset with her review. In my head I was in  shock. I got a sense she was trying to bait me into a fight. Next she turns a conversation on it's head and starts saying things critical of me like "well you talk so loud and ramble on and on an on." Mind you, I had just showed up at her house with 50.00 worth of groceries and "get well" foods and medicines for her. I did not bite though. Today, she was resting not he couch. She dropped her son at her ex husbands house (who ran from her before we met) And starts saying how he's the nicest guy in the World. She was talking about how her ex said the son is like her, nothing like him. I make a comment, "Well that can change. When I was a kid I was shy, now I'm definitely not" She starts going on about how I'm not friendly to her neighbors and I was rude to them one time. (total bs) Again, I got that sense I was being baited. But you know what? ___ it. I bit. I was calm but she read my face. I said, why are you doing this? You split hairs with me. I've done a lot of things for you and I'm here to stop by say hi and brought you dinner. Last night I talk too much, ramble on, tonight your ex is the nicest guy ever and I'm rude to your neighbors? Even if you feel those things so truly which by the way I don't agree with, why be so rude and bring them up? Is it just to hurt me? I could say things about you, but I don't. I try to focus on the positive." Well by this time she has her hand on her head, and I'm getting that vibe that I'm soo intolerable. She never tried to back track, apologize, say she didn't mean it that way, she just said that she can't take this and was going to bed. Calmly I got up and said I can't take much more of these cycles. I know you are devaluing me. And I left.

Things literally were great with us a week ago. Then out of the blue. This. Is this the painting black feels like?

My friends. I'm happy to tell you something. This forum, accepting reality, understanding that even if she does run out and find a replacement for me, you know what? that's fine. I don't care anymore. Facts are she will have a much harder time finding someone who sticks by her the way I have than I will have finding someone who appreciates me for who I'am.  I'm tired of this crap. I have never felt better, more sure of a decision and right about it. Barring a genuine apology from her, or miracle, I'm done with it. I'm not chasing her. I'm going to be a better son, a better friend a better co-worker. I'm going to start focusing on those things. On myself. Work out again, which I miss dearly, and stop devoting all of my resources and energy to an unreciprocated relationship where no matter what I do, I'm belittled. Sure she's hot, but I could have more meaningful sex with a blow up doll at this point. God knows it would have more life, and probably turn me down less. Point being, Why the hell have I put up with all this? It's a fruitless chase! And it's my fault for seeing all the flags but thinking I could help her. She doesn't want help! She wants to destroy me. I feel liberated. I feel like a man freed from emotional prison. It sounds so simple but the realization that MY MISERY continuing is MY CHOICE has invigorated me. I have ZERO regrets. I did everything for this girl. I gave her myself totally and completely and asked for nothing back. She may say she loves me, but emotional slavery does not equal love. I feel like the fog is lifting and for the first time in a long time, I feel peaceful, not anxious, I feel hope. And I forgot how good it feels.

[anxiety5]

This is a text from Saturday. Isn't there a book titled something like this? haha. jesus. I'm so ashamed that I tried to fool myself into thinking I could work through this.

Text exchange Saturday, the day it started... .

Me:

   I'm not letting you treat me like this anymore.

Her:

   I did nothing wrong

   Leave me alone

Me:

   I will.

   Bye

Her:

   PLEASE don't be so mad at me.

   I love you

[Mr. Solo]

Anxiety,

My wife has been doing similar things to me. If there was someone that caused tension between us when we were still together, she will bring them up for no apparent reason. She also will do things like this. Once we met to ride together to go see a show. She was working at a grocery store at the time. We were talking about something and she just blurted out, "Oh. Remember the dentist we used to go to? He came in the store today and he was flirting with me. Can you believe that?" One time we were cleaning out her van at a car wash. An old man came over, talked to us a long time as we cleaned, and then offered to help clean her van out by using a leaf blower to blow crumbs and stuff out (yeah, it was that bad). I had to leave before they were done. Later she calls to tell me that the old man asked her if we were together, she told him we were separated, and then he asked her to have sex. She told me she went to a bar one night alone and a doctor asked her to come back to his house. She told me she was sitting outside a filling station and a black man came up to her asking for her number. Every week or so she tells me stuff like this. A few times, after women have flirted with me, I've mentioned it to her to see how she would react and she didn't like it. A woman up the street from me has been bending over backwards to get my attention (she is married!) and when my wife finds out (usually from our kids) she will say she is going to come over and tell her a thing or two.

I don't know if the things she says really happen or not. It isn't that I doubt it is possible. She is very attractive. My instincts tell me, if anything, she is exaggerating to make me feel she can get another guy if she really wants to and is trying to present herself as desirable.