What to do

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

My SO BPDxw has started directing her hate campaign towards me again.  We see his eldest adopted daughter and her son quite often and really enjoy being with her.  She moved out 8mo ago which has given us an opportunity to establish a relationship.  His youngest/only bio daughter (17) has become extremely enmeshed with mom since my SO dropped the custody case (child attorney, child custody eval, counseling, etc) and x won't  follow orders to take daughter to expert PAS therapist.  So after several months of silence, she has reared her rage towards me with fabrications again.  We have actually never "officially" met-she just screams at me or ridicules me when we share the same space at the same time (usually in front of bio daughter).  My concern is that she is spewing this hatred to bio daughter.  I'm feeling the need to send bio daughter an email stating where I stand, how I empathize with her, & am available if she needs.  She's only come around 2-3x in the last 8 months.  Open, direct communication has never been the norm for this family & is my only style. Any thoughts, suggestions, experiences? 

[ShaSha]

My SO BPDxw has started directing her hate campaign towards me again.  We see his eldest adopted daughter and her son quite often and really enjoy being with her.  She moved out 8mo ago which has given us an opportunity to establish a relationship.  His youngest/only bio daughter (17) has become extremely enmeshed with mom since my SO dropped the custody case (child attorney, child custody eval, counseling, etc) and x won't  follow orders to take daughter to expert PAS therapist.  So after several months of silence, she has reared her rage towards me with fabrications again.  We have actually never "officially" met-she just screams at me or ridicules me when we share the same space at the same time (usually in front of bio daughter).  My concern is that she is spewing this hatred to bio daughter.  I'm feeling the need to send bio daughter an email stating where I stand, how I empathize with her, & am available if she needs.  She's only come around 2-3x in the last 8 months.  Open, direct communication has never been the norm for this family & is my only style. Any thoughts, suggestions, experiences? 

[DreamGirl]

My concern is that she is spewing this hatred to bio daughter.  I'm feeling the need to send bio daughter an email stating where I stand, how I empathize with her, & am available if she needs.  She's only come around 2-3x in the last 8 months.  Open, direct communication has never been the norm for this family & is my only style. Any thoughts, suggestions, experiences?  

Do you in your heart of hearts think it would help?

When you say "stating where I stand" ---- what does that entail?