Their Future Plans

[workinprogress]

I'm seeing a similar theme on these boards, BPD's live for today and make no future plans for tomorrow.  I know this may not be 100% accurate, but it seems to be mentioned quite often.

My wife is more concerned about buying some new item or spending money on something for the house than she is for saving for the future.  She seems to have no concept of saving for a rainy day.

It is all about immediate gratification.  I believe that this is in order to mask her inner pain.

She seems more invested in whoever her latest best friend is than in our marriage.  Again, she throws herself into friends who come and go.  But, our marriage, should be a lasting even that needs time and work.

When we met, she had no future plans.  All she seemed to care about was dating and looking good to date.  She didn't really seem concerned about preparing for her future.

I was charmed by her "care free" nature.

[hurting300]

From what I understand, they can't see the future the way we can. My ex told me several times she can't plan past a week.

[Vexed]

Yep exactly.  They can only see right now and negatives from the past.  Extremely frustrating.  My BPDgf can't even do online shopping because she needs in her own words "the instant gratification" of buying it when it pops into her head, and it could be a mop ffs.

She also hates talking about the future and will get upset when I fantasize about future trips or objects I want. She expects it to happen tomorrow the latest.

[drummerboy]

Yes I think the future is a scary place for them but interestingly my exBPDgf also suffered from chronic Generalised Anxiety Disorder so she was always worrying herself sick about things that hadn't even happened and most likely would never happen.

I think that they dread the future because it means thinking about many more years of their non stop suffering, and I do believe they are in emotional pain 99% of the time.

[hurting300]

It truly is scary for them. My ex would just get silent.