I want to hurt him, because he hurts me

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

... .but I won't get in touch. Just received a letter with a counter offer from his lawyer today. Bending the truth, retracting promises, threatening to kick me and the kids out of the house if I don't comply, but in the same paragraph letting my lawyer know that if I need any help with my kids (his step kids) I just have to ask?

I'm soo angry and I don't know how to deal with this anger. How could I have been so stupid as to ever trust this guy. How could I have been so stupid to marry him four years ago. What was going on in my mind?

I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place right now, most of it financially (long story). I'm using this board to vent. I've typed (and erased!) text messages, FB-messages, e-mails just now. I know it won't do me any good, but boy... .how I'd like to hurt him as he's hurting me (and my kids) right now.

Any advice on how to deal with the anger (and not giving in to it) would be appreciated.

[Tiepje3]

... .but I won't get in touch. Just received a letter with a counter offer from his lawyer today. Bending the truth, retracting promises, threatening to kick me and the kids out of the house if I don't comply, but in the same paragraph letting my lawyer know that if I need any help with my kids (his step kids) I just have to ask?

I'm soo angry and I don't know how to deal with this anger. How could I have been so stupid as to ever trust this guy. How could I have been so stupid to marry him four years ago. What was going on in my mind?

I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place right now, most of it financially (long story). I'm using this board to vent. I've typed (and erased!) text messages, FB-messages, e-mails just now. I know it won't do me any good, but boy... .how I'd like to hurt him as he's hurting me (and my kids) right now.

Any advice on how to deal with the anger (and not giving in to it) would be appreciated.

[momtara]

Writing responses and not sending is good.

Do you have custody of the kids?  Do they love you?  Consider how many spouses are cruel and still get the kids, and manipulate them.  If you've got your kids, then you've won.

Also, you've divorced him.  You are not walking on eggshells anymore, making his life nice and sweet.  Some other woman may do that, but then she's suffering too, and he'll end up divorced again.

How is he hurting the kids?  I agree that it all sucks, but look on the bright side.  He has an illness and will never really be happy.

[Indyan]

Same here Tiepje... .except that I havent received the letter from his lawyer yet, but I'm more or less expecting one... .

I didn't understand whether you have kid(s) together, or none?

In my situation, we have a baby in common, and I have a 10 yr old daughter too.

Yesterday, he told me he would help me as much as required for kids and I to stay in the house, and 10 min later he went wild when I talked about him renting a little apartment nearby... .and he told me I had to leave the house ASAP. :-((