Emotional abuse of children

[Cmjo]

Can you please recommend reading on this, particularly re fathers who maybe be borderline or narcissistic?

I am torn between not wanting to have to reduce my childrens time with their dad, but needing to protect them from his unexpected outbursts and abuse like ignoring, refusing to buy or pay for things they need, being aggressive and demanding that they are perfect when it comes to doing homework, splitting them especially favouring our son over our daughter. When he is well he can be superdad, affectionate and playful. We still have no court order in place and my kids have just started new school hours where theynfinish at 2. I need my lawyer to step in and help me as he will not cooperate in any negotiations, but in the short term I want to write  BIFF email suggesting a routine for the next month, subject to seeing how it works out. Can I actually say I think you are emotionally abusive to our children ( well I have said it many times already in emails, in fact it was that which made me decide to leave in the end). Or should I just say here is the plan for the next month I think that this is the plan that best serves thenkids needs and takes into account both our work schedules?

[Lmls]

Hi Cmjo,

I keep my communications with my ex very business like- polite and clear.

I reread and leave for a bit and then read again before sending, taking out anything that may trigger an emotional response and that isn't essential to the practical information he needs regarding the children.

Hope this helps.