Any redeeming qualities?

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

Seems I spend so much time baffled and trying to blame. Truth is, she has redeeming qualities, and others obviously see them. She is / was my teacher. God, please help me learn and move on. Help me to understand rather than be understood. Take her away from me, no wait, let me gaze just a little longer, no, go ahead and take her out of my heart. She just hurts too much. It hurts so much to not see her and talk to her. It feels like a death.  Death I wish I could share wth her, but I cannot because it is about her.

[KeepOnGoing]

Seems I spend so much time baffled and trying to blame. Truth is, she has redeeming qualities, and others obviously see them. She is / was my teacher. God, please help me learn and move on. Help me to understand rather than be understood. Take her away from me, no wait, let me gaze just a little longer, no, go ahead and take her out of my heart. She just hurts too much. It hurts so much to not see her and talk to her. It feels like a death.  Death I wish I could share wth her, but I cannot because it is about her.

[Nicolai]

Well... That depends really on your story does it. If your break up was normal, she never had any of the symptoms of BPD, and she didn't emotionally abuse you. What are you doing here for? You are here because you experiences a lot of negative things you cannot understand. It wasn't as simple as you two not being compatible or the love just wasn't there anymore. It happened suddenly and unexpectedly in a cruel and unsympathetic way. That is the borderline. And what you need to understand is that despite the moments of thrill and kindness, their was fundamental problems that could't be fixed. You might feel used and unmeaningful. Left with no closure. This is unormal for a healthy relationship. You felt incredibly attached to this person. You thought this one could be the one. Why shouldn't you belive it? Things where going great! That is the sign of this diagnose. If you could tell more about your story, you will perhaps realise you where manipulated, abused and just a supply for her. And of course she has redeeming qualities, if she didn't you wouldn't stayed with her. Their is nothing I can say to make you move on. But I can give you an advice. Keep no contact. Get new hobbies, find new and old friends, focus on yourself, get new experiences. Perhaps even move to a new place, in a new town. But this is optional. By doing this, I promise you that somewhere along the way you forgot her. I promise this. So get out there and see this beautiful world. It is huge and filled with excitement! Travel to places you want to see. London, Rome... Perhaps Africa! It will make you realise how much bigger the world is then just your ex. Good luck, and keep me posted. Carpe diem!

[KeepOnGoing]

Thank you, Nicolai.