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Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse... Have you considered that being critical, judgmental, or invalidating toward the other parent, no matter what she or he just did will only make matters worse? Someone has to be do something. This means finding the motivation to stop making things worse, learning how to interrupt your own negative responses, body language, facial expressions, voice tone, and learning how to inhibit your urges to do things that you later realize are contributing to the tensions.
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Author Topic: She won't leave me alone. And i'm already torn apart.  (Read 512 times)
Ivaros

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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 18



« on: September 24, 2014, 04:40:34 PM »

Hello everyone,

This is my first time writing a topic on this forums. I could really use some advice & help.

In a nutshell. I decided to leave my partner with BPD, since it was destroying me and my life.

The usual stuff happened. She begged me to come back. Fix the relationship etc etc.

One night she showed up at my doorstep. Wanting to come in and talk.

I did something really stupid. I let her in.

She suddenly turned aggresive. Bit me in my arm.

I had to disable her, so she wouldn't hurt me. The police took her into custody.

Family members from her side showed up yesterday. Threatening to kill me. And beat me.

If i'll ever come to my hometown. They'll kill me.

In a nutshell. The story is very saddening, maddening and it makes me crazy.

For now. The police will call me in the following days. So they can file a report.

I really hope they wont visit me again.

They also suggested that i shouldn't visit me hometown in the next 2/3 weeks. Which is ridiculous.

I feel unsafe, scared, hurt, broken and very emotional unstable. Life is very hard for me at the moment.

I climbed to the top. Realized i should leave her. broke up... and now this... .

Ivaros
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tim_tom
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 449


« Reply #1 on: September 24, 2014, 05:30:45 PM »

Hello everyone,

This is my first time writing a topic on this forums. I could really use some advice & help.

In a nutshell. I decided to leave my partner with BPD, since it was destroying me and my life.

The usual stuff happened. She begged me to come back. Fix the relationship etc etc.

One night she showed up at my doorstep. Wanting to come in and talk.

I did something really stupid. I let her in.

She suddenly turned aggresive. Bit me in my arm.

I had to disable her, so she wouldn't hurt me. The police took her into custody.

Family members from her side showed up yesterday. Threatening to kill me. And beat me.

If i'll ever come to my hometown. They'll kill me.

In a nutshell. The story is very saddening, maddening and it makes me crazy.

For now. The police will call me in the following days. So they can file a report.

I really hope they wont visit me again.

They also suggested that i shouldn't visit me hometown in the next 2/3 weeks. Which is ridiculous.

I feel unsafe, scared, hurt, broken and very emotional unstable. Life is very hard for me at the moment.

I climbed to the top. Realized i should leave her. broke up... and now this... .

Ivaros

I'm so sorry to hear what you are going through. Not sure it helps but the absurdity of it is kinda funny... She bit you, wth! Sounds like a honey badger. Sometimes you got to laugh instead of cry.

fwiw... One of the reasons I didn't leave mine was that her violent psycho brother told me he would attack me with a baseball bat if I ever hurt her. I believe it.

Sometimes it's better to be wary of unstable people, rather then tempt them. You don't know what they are capable of, and it's not worth finding out
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Ivaros

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Posts: 18



« Reply #2 on: September 24, 2014, 08:22:36 PM »

I'm so sorry to hear what you are going through. Not sure it helps but the absurdity of it is kinda funny... She bit you, wth! Sounds like a honey badger. Sometimes you got to laugh instead of cry.

fwiw... One of the reasons I didn't leave mine was that her violent psycho brother told me he would attack me with a baseball bat if I ever hurt her. I believe it.

Sometimes it's better to be wary of unstable people, rather then tempt them. You don't know what they are capable of, and it's not worth finding out

Honey badger, haha! Well, she bit quite hard. On her hardest i think.

My whole arm was bruised for weeks.

I'm trying to ignore & evade her recycle attempts.

But it's quite hard to not get depressed when facing death threats and a warning in regard to my hometown.

My whole family & alot of friends live there. I can't go there for support or for some distraction.

Why? Because i will get killed... .

Waiting for the police to phone me. Which could be tomorrow.

I hope this ends quickly. I want to go outside and enjoy life again.
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Rise
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 623



« Reply #3 on: September 25, 2014, 02:21:51 AM »

That is truly messed up. I am so sorry for you. I am super tired right now, so forgive me if I missed this, but have you called the police on her family for threatening you?
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Lucky Jim
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 6211


« Reply #4 on: September 25, 2014, 09:59:40 AM »

Hey Ivaros, Sorry to hear what you've been through, yet perhaps you learned a lesson in boundaries.  Next time, don't let her in.  I did the same many times w/my BPDxW, with similar results.  Hang in there, LuckyJim
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    A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing.
George Bernard Shaw
Ivaros

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Posts: 18



« Reply #5 on: September 25, 2014, 11:34:28 AM »

That is truly messed up. I am so sorry for you. I am super tired right now, so forgive me if I missed this, but have you called the police on her family for threatening you?

The police is informed. And will call me tomorrow to file a report. And listen to my story.

I really hope it ends quickly. And go outside safely. I informed my boss about the situation and he understands it.

I'm also getting alot of support from my family and therapist.
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