New to the forum

[Timmythedog]

Hello,

Am still having trouble sleeping after my ex, BPD/Np broke up with me after four years, when our son was six months old. He did it when I had returned to my home country on the other side of the world, and told me not to come back. I had been supporting him for almost a year at that point while he fought (still does) bitter fights with his ex about their three children. At one point I thought I was the only sane person in a tribe of crazy people. Then I started thinking I was the crazy one. Now we have been trying to work through the distrust I have of him, for my son's sake, but I have become hypersensitive to emotional abuse, and am confused, and lonely. He used to be my "one", but it was like my soul got sucked out, and everything I believed in, love, trust, commitment, family, lost meaning for me. I love my son and until very recently I still loved his father -  now I'm not sure what to do. Sounding a bit pathetic, I know... .it's late and things always seem a bit worse at night... .

[vortex of confusion]

 

Welcome to BPD! There are a lot of people here that can relate to the confusion. I know that I felt crazy for a really long time. It really helps to read other people's stories. It makes me feel not so alone and not so crazy.

Here is a big hug for you

It is so rough to try to make sense out of everything. Reading some of the lessons on the right side of the boards might be helpful. I know I started out reading as much information as I could to try to get a grip on what was happening to me.