Intervention Orders etc

[Aussie JJ]

Hi all,

Wondering on advice and views form those who have been and done it previously with these matters.  Any advice suggested will be taken on board.  For the first hearnig im told I basically walk in with no information where I live and the judge gets to decide if we proceed to a contested hearing or it gets dropped. 

Have friends / family present?

What to say?

What not to say?

Anything that you have found helpful would be appreciated.  From previous court stuff that wasn't of a personal nature I always made sure I walked in with 5-600 in $100 dollar bills in my pocket and a whole heap of other things to basically make my confidence go high.  Going to do all of those but apparently every judge runs there court slightly differently.  Any past experiences?

I think she will do the crying uncontrollably and the rest of it.  Your view/experiences on this appreciated ?


AJJ. 

[Aussie0zborn]

What's an intervention order?

My modus operandi in court is to appear with just my lawyer and barrister. Bringing friends along for support is a sign of weakness.

I did consider at one time taking my friend's ultra gorgeous girlfriend along as a prop, but why trigger them? My ex is crazy dangerous.

Now that I have a gf, she has offered to come along so I don't have to borrow one, but again, it's a sign of weakness so I don't do it, even though it will throw her off balance.

At the end of the day, it's what you feel comfortable with.

[Aussie JJ]

Well,

She didn't even rock up, Police prosecutor and she called in by phone.  This cost her $0.00. 

I'm down $1,800.00 for this one day and the advice leading up to it.  Then the magistrate grants a temp order with nothing but a wishy woshy Police brief.  What a load of crap. 


AJJ. 

[ForeverDad]

I've had these hearings, every time she tried to include our son in them, every time a temporary order was granted pending further hearings or assessments.  Fortunately every time our son was removed from the cases, she was allowed to proceed but my parenting was not restricted.  In instances like that I switched opinions on my gripes about how adult/parenting behaviors were handled in court and for cases like this was thankful adult behaviors are split apart from parenting behaviors.

So if it is temporary, this means you go back to court in a few weeks?  Is anything to be done in the meantime such as assessments, evaluations, etc?

Were your children excluded from the temp order?  If not, then that is important to overcome ASAP.  The sole reason she filed this was to block your parenting, right?  If you can get parenting restrictions removed then her main goal was thwarted.  She she might still be able to get 'protection' for herself to make you look at least a little bad and that would allow her to continue her custody war, though from a weaker position.  She could at any time make new allegations of child abuse, neglect or endangerment, so record any interactions for self-protection and be prepared for allegations at any time.

My lawyer told me I probably couldn't avoid my then-stbEx getting a short term protection order when she filed a harassment/stalking petition but he emphasized, "If we don't settle the judge can order up to five years of protection for no basis at all, she can just claim to be 'fearful'.  Tell me, as much as you don't want an order, do you really want to see her?  If you can get unobstructed parenting then who cares if she gets a stay-apart ("stay-away" is too one-sided) order?  We'll set up 'safe' exchanges at the local sheriff's office and have her stay away from you as much as you stay away from her."  So that is what we did until mid-December.  (Looking back, I think they timed it that way so the winter holidays weren't included.)

• No "finding of fact" or admission of guilt.



• We had to keep our distance from each other.  Note: phrase this as a mutual condition, you need protection from the ex too!



• Son excluded.



• Since this was civil court, family court would set the parenting schedule.  Exchanges were handled by family court and done at the local sheriff's office.



• It was a type of settlement that couldn't be extended or renewed.  If she wanted another she would have to file with new complaints.

[Aussie JJ]

Solicitor has a plan that he actually e-mailed through last night (Saturday here) so he's working on the weekend.  That is a bit of a suprise to me, basically say nothign file and just do the same back to her, be factual with the courts and use them to get the results. 

Essentially, all the delay tactics are coming out now and the bashing of me using the courts.  The thing that concerns me the most, I have notified work and a manager I know walked in and sat back and watched the proceedings (Company I work for supplys services to every government department basically).  This is really getting under my skin, I have made sure i havent spoken about the ins and outs of my stuff at work, kept it compleatly seperate however its now creaping in. 

I am ___ scared of this spiraling more out of control from her end.  I know I cant control it, its consumign every part of my life, thats what it feels like at the moment.  Really over her reactions to this stuff, basically escalation constantly. 

One thing I have to question with all of you here, solicitor says we should at some stage file a counter restraining/intervention order against her when some details come out in court.  It would all be based on the psychological abuse aspect (its considered family violence here) and go from there. 

Opinions welcome.  I understand it will escaalate, she has started saying my mum has BPD to a few people as well (Her mum is full blown BPD), my mum has some N & B traits however so subtle you cant pick them unless you know her very well.  She is escalating so hardcore it isnt funny and I am just a bit   by it all at the moment. 


AJJ. 

[ForeverDad]

My ex made allegations against some members of my family.  Imagine me reading my son's therapy records when he was 5-6 years old and seeing the therapist logging that my ex was making allegations about an 80+ year old grandmother.  As devastated as I felt to find out she was doing it, it went nowhere.  She didn't face any direct consequences from doing it but it didn't go anywhere.