I'm breaking inside,I don't want to give up on him but what else can I do? He's not a bad man just very very confused!I no that he never intended to hurt me, but I'm hurting so much right now, the only person i want is him, and the only person I can't have is him!
As he said it's better to leave me now than years down the line when he would of hurt me a million times more as he always does ! Maybe that's a blessing in disguise but at the moment I'm finding it hard to see that :-( i just don't no if I'm strong enough!
First calm down... .And this is from someone whose NOT in any kind of good place.
Second I'd send one last text and say "sorry I didn't respect your wishes to not hear from me, goodbye" BECAUSE this in my op isn't breaking no contact wishing well saying by you are getting back control and if you've been pleading for a month guess what you have 0 power... .In-fact lets just say negative power
. This will re-establish you are choosing not him whats going on.
You have found yourself in one of two spots and chances are:
1. If he's not responding or caring in the least he has plenty of supply to choose from and latch on to and you're in a bad spot like I am, because he'll either play with you and beat the living crap out of you but even worse since you're now out of the relationship, and then discard you one final time once he's sure you serve even less purpose.
2. He has no supply or finds the supply he has doesn't suit his needs the way you did then he'll re-engage to get a boost of confidence and go back hunting, or try and come back full blast, or see how much control he has.
... .
Mine is at number 2 at the moment, she called me out of the blue to justify her happiness and when I confirmed thats all I wanted for her and said I'm glad you found someone so much better than me she said well he's not that much better and IF she decided to give me another chance she'd hoped things had chanced and maybe in 2-3 years (I have no idea the timeline meaning maybe someone else reading this can comment for me).
I am slowly getting myself in a bad spot where she's now contacting me once a week probably for a boost of confidence that I care and that her new supply isn't that perfect, and then she'll vanish for awhile because she's gotten the reassurance that someone really loves her meanwhile for the last 3 weeks each time I've spiraled after each encounter. This past one even worse because now I actually got glad we talked and positive emoji's and its brutalizing, because financial standing/ power standing is worth nothing when you aren't where you want to be.
So if he really wants to cut contact let him, do not become a check in for him, or worse a backup to the new supply...
If you really want back in and I mean really want it, like I do to try a different approach like I learned here, as I think I'd fare better... .You've
gotta go no contact, you've gotta not say anything about who he dates, and if he genuinely wants to have that talk (and it could be on impulse N change his mind the next day) then do it.
But you're trying to move an emotionally detached person whose now even more removed from you and its just not a good idea... .Focus on yourself, read a bunch of threads here, remember the bad things. And that you're a girl and in the dating world, you have all the power.
I'm not in a good spot but I've at least stopped trying to bargain with her, if she flat out said I want back, and I saw some effort I would, but I require at least those to things to hop back on that train, you should at least have minimal standards in my opinion.
As others will tell you here, he's doing you a favor not communicating, because the more he plays and the more detached he actually is meanwhile you're caring and trying to work it out. The more and more damage it will do, and it will just drag it out.
