Do they like to set us up

[NYMike]

I am curious if they like to toy with us.I no mine likes to draw me in with all this stuff that sounds good and then she body slams me.

Has anyone gone through this with the BPD.It was an amazing roller coaster ride from hell.One day I was the greatest and next I was painted black.In the morning I was wonderful and when I got home I was no F------ Good.

Now that I went NC it seems she is trying to send me all these sweet nothing messages or manipulate me to come play.In the beginning I did and she was gone the next day.I was abandoned and left speechless.

There emotions change seem to change so much and everything is unpredictable.There is nothing that is stable and predictable.You just never no what person is coming at you.

Its almost like they are master manipulators with conning behavior and lies... ?

Right now she is sending me nice messeges and trying to do something to me.I have got to stay strong because I feel it's a TRAP... .LOL,LOL

[Skip]

Its almost like they are master manipulators with conning behavior and lies... ?

It may be pure emotion in her case and and having a dysfunctional way to sooth bad feelings - at your expense. We see that in a lot of "families".

This is more like an addict or a drowning man than a con artist.  Either way, its toxic to you and not something you can fix - or that she is trying to fix.

[OutOfEgypt]

I have learned one thing over and over again from my BPD ex:  every time I allow her close to me in some way, I regret it.  I always wind up hurt.  Even if it is just a small joking conversation or being nice to her and pretending, for a moment, that we are just two normal adults trying to raise our children... .I always regret it.  I remember one time, as our marriage was coming to an end, she was pulling me back in because she picked up on my emotional departure.  She reacted by suddenly being really sweet.  Suddenly, she was back to being the woman I always wanted -sweet and interested in me and mutual in the relationship, rather than one-sided, selfish, punishing, waifish, and temperamental.  And we wound up being intimate together and then sat together, wrapped around each other, really, on the front porch.  As we sat there, she very nonchalantly and calmly began to explain to me all the reasons why she doesn't want to be with me and why I'm no good for her.  It blew me away.  I just opened myself up to her completely, and physically, and then, even as we cuddled, she was twisting a knife in my side.

Was all of this just deliberate manipulation intended on destroying me?  Most likely no.  Most likely it is her emotional desperation in action.  She is more like an insecure little kid than a cunning serial killer.  She is very self-centered and is highly, highly sensitive when it comes to her and her feelings, while being completely insensitive to me and my feelings (and really anybody's feelings, when it becomes a choice between hers and theirs).

I would say many things like this to my T -talking about how monstrous she is, what a manipulator, even how scared I was of what she "might do to me," and as valid as my feelings are, he would say to me, "You're giving her way too much credit."  They are like an engorged wound, a black hole.  And they act and react out of that.  Their M/O is to be the *only* barnacle stuck on the hull of the ship (us).  He also said that the over-the-top sensitivity for herself with completely insensitivity toward others is a hallmark of PD's like this.

So do they like to set us up?  Well yes, but more like a little kid whose feelings are hurt and who doesn't know how to self-soothe and handle their feelings in a constructive or healthy way.

Does any of this make it "okay"?  Nope.  As Skip said, it is still toxic.  But as I look back at all the horrible things she did, I believe I have a fairly decent sense of why (at least in her mind) she did them.

[Splitblack4good]

I am curious if they like to toy with us.I no mine likes to draw me in with all this stuff that sounds good and then she body slams me.

Has anyone gone through this with the BPD.It was an amazing roller coaster ride from hell.One day I was the greatest and next I was painted black.In the morning I was wonderful and when I got home I was no F------ Good.

Now that I went NC it seems she is trying to send me all these sweet nothing messages or manipulate me to come play.In the beginning I did and she was gone the next day.I was abandoned and left speechless.

There emotions change seem to change so much and everything is unpredictable.There is nothing that is stable and predictable.You just never no what person is coming at you.

Its almost like they are master manipulators with conning behavior and lies... ?

Right now she is sending me nice messeges and trying to do something to me.I have got to stay strong because I feel it's a TRAP... .LOL,LOL

She is most likely baiting you by being nice she may want or need something once she has got it she will turn on you again and then you will be right back to were you started .