Nothing ?
Something ?
Or none of the above ?
It's really best not to spend time thinking about such things. We can't know what's going on inside any other person's head, and when you add BPD or BPD traits in, you really don't stand a chance.
I know it's incredibly hard,
guy. Believe me, I wasted a lot of time obsessing over my exbf, and what he might be thinking, and trying to make sense of it all. The end of a relationship like this is a time of emotional turmoil.
We can't detach and break free if we allow them to rent so much space in our heads and lives. We can never hope to heal if we don't kick them out and start focusing on ourselves.