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How to communicate after a contentious divorce... Following a contentious divorce and custody battle, there are often high emotion and tensions between the parents. Research shows that constant and chronic conflict between the parents negatively impacts the children. The children sense their parents anxiety in their voice, their body language and their parents behavior. Here are some suggestions from Dean Stacer on how to avoid conflict.
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Author Topic: I'm in control  (Read 380 times)
Jmanster
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 99


« on: December 25, 2014, 03:34:59 PM »

Happy holidays everyone! I haven't posted in a while so here it goes... .she went out of town for the Christmas while I stayed home. Surprisingly though I have not had the urge to call or text her, however, I miss the hell out of her. But guess what? After 2 days of her gone she texts me, "I hope you are well, thought of you Smiling (click to insert in post)." I responded with a neutral statement which did not require a response, "I hope you are having fun." Then another 3 days pass she texts me again... ."Any fun plans for Christmas? Hows life? Thought of you Smiling (click to insert in post)." Again, she says "Thought of you." I reply with another neutral response saying, "Everything is good here, hope you are having fun." The point is, is that I am finally carrying on with my life, I am making myself busy and even when I look at my phone, I have no urge to call or text her... .She is the one who does! I miss her like crazy though, but I don't have the urge to text or call her... .isn't that funny. She comes back to town this week, let's see what she has up her sleeve. I'm over her, but not over her... .if that makes any sense... .Have you guys experienced something like this? I think this is a way for her to string me along... .and the fact that she said "Thought of you" twice made me feel a little strange and uneasy... .
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AwakenedOne
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 776



« Reply #1 on: December 25, 2014, 09:58:53 PM »

Hi Jmanster,

I'm glad that you are feeling that you have a sense of control over thing now. What's your ultimate goal, have you thought it out such as whether you prefer LC or NC or what? Even in non disordered relationships being friends with an ex is hard. I could never do it. My BPD ex often told me I am a controller which was a real joke. I control that I will never deal with her again now though for sure.

Cheers,

AO
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