I haven't posted in a while (except for a short rant earlier today.)
Mainly because I've now been in a healthy relationship with an amazing girl for three months and I needed distance from all this, especially since I noticed that reading here, I'm mostly on the leaving board, can slightly trigger me on some days (see my rant earlier
)
That being said... .I was about to post in the building a healthy relationship section but I thought that many undecided people might benefit from what I experienced last weekend. So here it goes.
As I have mentioned I've now been three months with this amazing girl. I'm not going into the entire relationship and how it evolved (I had a lot to re-learn and Oh boy did that feel great,) but rather just tell you about something that hit me like a ton of bricks on Sunday.
She is extremely athletic (as I am) and got up very early (around five) to take part in a cold water swimming race while I was sleeping in. We met later in the AM and decided to hit the gym before lunch. Little did I know she didn't have time to grab a snack in between. After the gym we walked over to one of our favorite restaurants to meet with friends for a late lunch.
Keep in mind that we always chose walking over public transportation or car rides if possible. We walked around 15 miles the day before for some sightseeing.
After lunch we took the bus home, we were both pretty exhausted.
At home we decided to take a nap and then do laundry (we have to walk a couple of blocks to do so.) When we both woke up she was a bit more quite than normal and we all know how finely tuned our antennas are having experienced BPD. So I asked her what's up. She didn't really wanted to talk about it, which really made me uncomfortable. She then explained that she is somehow a bit sad and that she doesn't want to get up and that she feels overwhelmed by having to haul all the laundry over and work the next day etc etc (my words here.)
I kind of motivated her a bit and we went do the laundry which turned out to be a kind of fun event.
After sorting the laundry at home her mood was back to normal and we went for dinner to treat ourselves a bit. Dinner was such a good time.
I didn't even think about her slight mood swing earlier anymore, it was really nothing compared to what I had experienced and accepted as normal in my previous rs.
Out of nowhere she suddenly said: Sorry for my bad attitude earlier. I had not packed any snacks for after the race and overall overdid it today. This made me emotional in a negative way and I hope it didn't stain the otherwise awesome day we had. Thank you for having been so supportive and helping so much with the chores. (I'm paraphrasing here)
Mind you... .This episode lasted half an hour max and at no time was she hostile towards me or
Pushing me away in any way. At all times I felt totally secure, loved and involved. Compared to what I have experienced it was a JOKE.
I don't mean to tell you to leave your SO or whatever. It was just such a powerful experience to see what it means to not constantly have this feeling of impending doom. Relearning that someone having a bad day or moment doesn't mean that you're potentially going to get hurt etc.
Someone that has normal coping mechanisms, respects your boundaries... .Hell... .In that brief episode she showed me so much about a multitude of normal behaviors... .
Someone like this will BLOW YOUR MIND.
You will all get there one day. Whatever that means. And I wish all of you a 2015 full of love and bliss. It is right there.
