Getting out

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

Hello all!

I'm hoping to get some guidance/help/and some clarification from the experts here.  I have been a very turmoil infused relationship with a woman that seems to be BPD.  Need help with coping since the relationship has ended, and I have no closure, or anything.  Feel very beaten up, and blamed for everything since the start.  Not sure where to take this next here, so please chime in and guide me!

Lost in Colorado

[takenforgranted]

Hello all!

I'm hoping to get some guidance/help/and some clarification from the experts here.  I have been a very turmoil infused relationship with a woman that seems to be BPD.  Need help with coping since the relationship has ended, and I have no closure, or anything.  Feel very beaten up, and blamed for everything since the start.  Not sure where to take this next here, so please chime in and guide me!

Lost in Colorado

[Lucky Jim]

Hey LIC, It's normal to feel blamed and beaten up after a b/u with a pwBPD.  Nevertheless, that doesn't mean that you should shoulder all the blame yourself or beat yourself up more.  Instead, I suggest you examine why you got into a r/s with a pwBPD in the first place, and then move forward in your life, wiser for the experience.  You probably know this already, but there is a good chance that you will hear from your BPDx, who will attempt to pull you back into the toxic soup.  Be careful and be ready when this happens.  Hang in there, LuckyJim

[ForeverDad]

Closure, as has been often remarked here regarding BPD-ish relationships, is something you won't get from your ex.  Simply stated, Closure is something you'll have to Gift Yourself.

Recovery is a process, not an event.  Give recovery time.  Find yourself an experienced and perceptive counselor you're comfortable with, do some healing.

We have articles here on many helpful topics, mindfulness, building better boundaries for yourself, I've heard Henry Cloud has a good book on that too.

If there are any legal issues remaining, joint property, joint assets or debts, risk of false allegations, etc, then you should get a copy of Splitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder by Bill Eddy and Randi Kreger.