Just left my BPD wife three weeks ago

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

We were married for almost 4 years, together about 6 and it didn't help that I had depression and some intimacy issues and I can understand it bothered her that I didn't care if we made love, because she wanted to be desired, but we had a healthy sex life. But you couldn't say no to making love. And her neediness was way overboard and an incredible temper. During one breakup, she slit her wrist and told the police I did it. As far as sex, 5 days after having cancer surgery, she told me I was thoughtless not to ask her if she needed the bedroom to masturbate. That was almost two years ago and I couldn't ever get it out of my head that I had a wife who actually said that. There were so many fights, that contributed to me not being affectionate or into making love... .But she also had this teenage attitude to sex and romance that there be spontanteous making out. She is going to be 69 in March... .When I asked for the divorce, she did as she always does, went right on a dating site and now three weeks after I left, she tells me she has a boyfriend and she is in love and very happy. She blames the fighting on me and my depression as she blames everyone in her life for her problems, and even though I ended it, I am so hurt that she could turn the switch off and on and be with another man. I know that BPD's and narcissists do this, but it's so painful. And I have to deal with loss issues, which happen every time I leave a relationship and have fallen into deep clinical depressions. I even blame myself a lot, thinking if i was more affectionate and there was romance in between making love and more spontaneity that she would have been happy. I know, I'm crazy

[Devastated1227]

We were married for almost 4 years, together about 6 and it didn't help that I had depression and some intimacy issues and I can understand it bothered her that I didn't care if we made love, because she wanted to be desired, but we had a healthy sex life. But you couldn't say no to making love. And her neediness was way overboard and an incredible temper. During one breakup, she slit her wrist and told the police I did it. As far as sex, 5 days after having cancer surgery, she told me I was thoughtless not to ask her if she needed the bedroom to masturbate. That was almost two years ago and I couldn't ever get it out of my head that I had a wife who actually said that. There were so many fights, that contributed to me not being affectionate or into making love... .But she also had this teenage attitude to sex and romance that there be spontanteous making out. She is going to be 69 in March... .When I asked for the divorce, she did as she always does, went right on a dating site and now three weeks after I left, she tells me she has a boyfriend and she is in love and very happy. She blames the fighting on me and my depression as she blames everyone in her life for her problems, and even though I ended it, I am so hurt that she could turn the switch off and on and be with another man. I know that BPD's and narcissists do this, but it's so painful. And I have to deal with loss issues, which happen every time I leave a relationship and have fallen into deep clinical depressions. I even blame myself a lot, thinking if i was more affectionate and there was romance in between making love and more spontaneity that she would have been happy. I know, I'm crazy

[rlhmm]

you've been through hell my friend... .but you have come to the right place. start reading the threads and all the info this site has to offer. it really is helpful and let your healing begin!