30 day challenge to help ourselves feel healthier and better for us

[VIDEO: "What is parental alienation?"]

It's a new year, new goal, new ideas, maybe new starts to new lives. It is just about 5 months n/c for me. I have gained weight and am not happy about that! I have been working on moving forward. Been working on my own issues of loneliness as a child which I believe has been the reason that I attached to my  exdBPDbf so strongly and quickly. He was able to reach into my inner child and play together so perfectly in the honeymoon stages. I know I stayed through all of the turmoil during the last few months and through recycles, hoping for us to play together again like the beginning when it was so much fun. I also know that it could not happen again for a consistent amount of time because it had moved to the next phases of the disorder.

So here I am not happy with my weight gain, but so much happier and healthier in my thoughts, in my inner soul and in my heart.

I am in a better place now 5 months later, heavier, but ready to work on that now and hoping to have some here jump on the bandwagon to doing something healthy or good for us every day for the next 30 days. Maybe just a walk around the block, or getting to the gym, or maybe just getting out of bed. I know in the beginning, just walking to the kitchen for a glass of water was a great effort. When I came here to the BPD family, I was a confused mess and I had so much support from so many.

5 months out,  my head is less confused, I want to be the best me that I can, which includes being healthier. Anybody in?

Today I will get to the gym and not leave until I have put at least 30 minutes into the treadmill. Not a great amount of time, but a start!

Rifka

[Rifka]

It's a new year, new goal, new ideas, maybe new starts to new lives. It is just about 5 months n/c for me. I have gained weight and am not happy about that! I have been working on moving forward. Been working on my own issues of loneliness as a child which I believe has been the reason that I attached to my  exdBPDbf so strongly and quickly. He was able to reach into my inner child and play together so perfectly in the honeymoon stages. I know I stayed through all of the turmoil during the last few months and through recycles, hoping for us to play together again like the beginning when it was so much fun. I also know that it could not happen again for a consistent amount of time because it had moved to the next phases of the disorder.

So here I am not happy with my weight gain, but so much happier and healthier in my thoughts, in my inner soul and in my heart.

I am in a better place now 5 months later, heavier, but ready to work on that now and hoping to have some here jump on the bandwagon to doing something healthy or good for us every day for the next 30 days. Maybe just a walk around the block, or getting to the gym, or maybe just getting out of bed. I know in the beginning, just walking to the kitchen for a glass of water was a great effort. When I came here to the BPD family, I was a confused mess and I had so much support from so many.

5 months out,  my head is less confused, I want to be the best me that I can, which includes being healthier. Anybody in?

Today I will get to the gym and not leave until I have put at least 30 minutes into the treadmill. Not a great amount of time, but a start!

Rifka

[fromheeltoheal]

Good for you Rifka, and having a little insulation for the winter is not a bad thing.

The key is to just move your body doing something you enjoy; if you make it a chore it won't be sustainable.  I had a goal when I younger; "soak a t-shirt every day", meaning break a healthy sweat every day.  At my "advanced" age of 54 I need to not push it too hard since the recovery period is too long, but that doesn't mean we can't get off our ass every day, just make sure we enjoy it.

Spring is a time of rebirth, my favorite time of year, and going into it with a foundation of health because we worked on it over the winter is a great plan and will ensure spring vibrancy.  Let's make sure we drink enough water too, at least 2 quarts a day.  And funny, 30 day challenges tend to grow into 60 and then 90 days because we're enjoying it so much, and then it just becomes our lives.  To health and vitality!

[Rifka]

Good for you Rifka, and having a little insulation for the winter is not a bad thing.

The key is to just move your body doing something you enjoy; if you make it a chore it won't be sustainable.  I had a goal when I younger; "soak a t-shirt every day", meaning break a healthy sweat every day.  At my "advanced" age of 54 I need to not push it too hard since the recovery period is too long, but that doesn't mean we can't get off our ass every day, just make sure we enjoy it.

Spring is a time of rebirth, my favorite time of year, and going into it with a foundation of health because we worked on it over the winter is a great plan and will ensure spring vibrancy.  Let's make sure we drink enough water too, at least 2 quarts a day.  And funny, 30 day challenges tend to grow into 60 and then 90 days because we're enjoying it so much, and then it just becomes our lives.  To health and vitality!

52 here and way more than a bit of insulation! But yes the water def helps get it off faster!

Def need to not hybrinate the winter away and move thy butt!

Been working on my inner health but ignoring the outer, catch up time!

[fromheeltoheal]

Been working on my inner health but ignoring the outer, catch up time!

Emotion is created by motion; move the body and the mind will follow.  Strut like you mean it!

[myself]

I'm in. Already doing things like getting outside and walking more. Fresh air. Things to see and be part of. New Memories! My daughter likes to come along and really enjoys it, so that's an extra bonus, spending better time with her instead of stuck inside my own head too much. How about we make this 'challenge' From Now On? Keep focusing on our best today, everyday.

[Rifka]

I'm in. Already doing things like getting outside and walking more. Fresh air. Things to see and be part of. New Memories! My daughter likes to come along and really enjoys it, so that's an extra bonus, spending better time with her instead of stuck inside my own head too much. How about we make this 'challenge' From Now On? Keep focusing on our best today, everyday.

Sounds great songbook! One step at a time, one day at a time. Short goals lead to longer goals! Bonding with our loved ones is always a great thing. Walking and talking and sometimes just taking some deep breathes and listening to the sounds of nature around us can feel so fantastic! Focusing on our health and moving in a better direction is good.

[RedDove]

Hey Rifka, Happy New Year! I love your post and I could have written it word-for-word!  Back at the beginning of the summer, right after I ended it with my ex BPDbf and also was laid off from my job, I was walking every day. I definitely felt better, had more energy and it helped with my recovery process... .healthy mind, body & soul. Unfortunately when the weather turned bitterly cold and winter came, like you, I just sorta hibernated like a grizzly bear!  It was too cold to walk outside (still is here) and I couldn't afford a gym membership. So I gained weight as well and am not happy with myself!

I ran into a friend this past weekend. She has a treadmill that has become a clothes rack that she's willing to give to me just to get it out of her house. I'm hoping to get my other friend with a truck to pick it up next weekend! So, I'm with you on the 30 day challenge... .will just be a week late in starting!

[ADecadeLost]

Great idea, Rifka.  I'm admittedly a few months ahead, but would love to join and hopefully motivate myself for another 30 days.

And as fromheeltoheal said, find something you "enjoy."  As my marriage came to an end this past summer, I reflected on a lot.  One of the things that crossed my mind was my inability to stick with workout plans over the years (stress of work/relationship always seemed to derail me).  So I decided to think before starting about something active I would really enjoy.  In the end, I remembered how much I loved cycling years ago.  I ended up pulling some money out of savings, buying a new bike, and (after sucking wind for a few weeks) found myself really enjoying it.

Five months later, I've expanded beyond the bike and feel better (physically and mentally) than I have in years.  Just stick to something you enjoy and take it one day at a time.  I'm not where I want to be yet, but the progress sure has felt good during these rough months.

Good luck everyone.

[Rifka]

Hey Rifka, Happy New Year! I love your post and I could have written it word-for-word!  Back at the beginning of the summer, right after I ended it with my ex BPDbf and also was laid off from my job, I was walking every day. I definitely felt better, had more energy and it helped with my recovery process... .healthy mind, body & soul. Unfortunately when the weather turned bitterly cold and winter came, like you, I just sorta hibernated like a grizzly bear!  It was too cold to walk outside (still is here) and I couldn't afford a gym membership. So I gained weight as well and am not happy with myself!

I ran into a friend this past weekend. She has a treadmill that has become a clothes rack that she's willing to give to me just to get it out of her house. I'm hoping to get my other friend with a truck to pick it up next weekend! So, I'm with you on the 30 day challenge... .will just be a week late in starting!

Red dove, Glad to hear that you are also in a better mindset. My dancing has been my peaceful place!

Veryfunny! I have a gazelle clothes rack in my bedroom. Time to pull the fuzz Bunnies and clothes off tomorrow!

Made it to the gym. 32 minutes on elliptical machine and 257 calories. Yay! Some crunches and the Gyno chair Lol! Well it reminds me of one. It's a start! I will try for three days a week or alternate with my dancing nights.

That's fantastic about getting the treadmill for free!

There is a free app called fitness pal that you can enter the food and exercise of each day! I know it helps as well!


Happy and healthy new year to you too!

Rifka

[Rifka]

Great idea, Rifka.  I'm admittedly a few months ahead, but would love to join and hopefully motivate myself for another 30 days.

And as fromheeltoheal said, find something you "enjoy."  As my marriage came to an end this past summer, I reflected on a lot.  One of the things that crossed my mind was my inability to stick with workout plans over the years (stress of work/relationship always seemed to derail me).  So I decided to think before starting about something active I would really enjoy.  In the end, I remembered how much I loved cycling years ago.  I ended up pulling some money out of savings, buying a new bike, and (after sucking wind for a few weeks) found myself really enjoying it.

Five months later, I've expanded beyond the bike and feel better (physically and mentally) than I have in years.  Just stick to something you enjoy and take it one day at a time.  I'm not where I want to be yet, but the progress sure has felt good during these rough months.

Good luck everyone.

Decade,

Welcome to the start of 30 days. It's freezing here and my bike will be away until at least late April. I use to bike a lot with the ex and have kind of stopped since.

Dancing is the exercise of choice, it's fun and I never get tired until the dj stops playing that funky music!

It's great that you have already been focusing on you! Keep up the great work!

Rifka

[letmeout]

Emotion is created by motion; move the body and the mind will follow.  Strut like you mean it!

I want to get in on this bandwagon! Stress from working two jobs and not being mindful of taking care of myself has made me gain a lot of weight. I need to change things up and start getting physical. 

[Rifka]

Emotion is created by motion; move the body and the mind will follow.  Strut like you mean it!

I want to get in on this bandwagon! Stress from working two jobs and not being mindful of taking care of myself has made me gain a lot of weight. I need to change things up and start getting physical. 

Welcome Let me out!

Now I'm hearing " let's get physical" the song in my head! Lol!

What's do you like to do that you are going to give a go? It's easier to do this together here.

Rifka

[Perdita]

I've been working out everyday since everything went to hell between us.  I put my anger into exercising and toning up.  From the day it happened I made the decision to get into great shape and feel good about myself - and I started that same day.  I now have so much more time to take care of myself!  Have also been losing weight.  I figured that if I keep this up then there should be a significant difference by mid-March.  He can eat his heart out (if he can locate it!) 

[Rifka]

I've been working out everyday since everything went to hell between us.  I put my anger into exercising and toning up.  From the day it happened I made the decision to get into great shape and feel good about myself - and I started that same day.  I now have so much more time to take care of myself!  Have also been losing weight.  I figured that if I keep this up then there should be a significant difference by mid-March.  He can eat his heart out (if he can locate it!) 

Perdita,

That's fantastic that you put your energies into working out, keep it going for you! Just don't forget to work on the inside as well!

Rifka

[Maternus]

I started to make push ups and a lot of other sport after the breakup. I weighed 220 lbs after the breakup and managed 2 push ups. Today I weigh 180 lbs and manage 30 push ups. I feel physically stronger and lighter - that's not the whole deal, but it helps to feel better. 

[Rifka]

I started to make push ups and a lot of other sport after the breakup. I weighed 220 lbs after the breakup and managed 2 push ups. Today I weigh 180 lbs and manage 30 push ups. I feel physically stronger and lighter - that's not the whole deal, but it helps to feel better. 

Maternus,

That's fantastic! I prob couldn't do the 2, but I can dance all night!

Keep going, maybe you can make it to 40 soon!

[Rifka]

Well, I don't know how you all are doing, but so far I'm on a good track. 10 of 13lbs from a 1 week vacation are off since I started. I'm eating better, exercising and losing the weight. I gained 13 in 7 days on vacation this past week. I wonder if that should be listed in Ripleys believe it or not! Lol! Mostly water weight, but I wanted to cry when stepping on the scale!

How is everybody doing?

Rifka

[Maternus]

100. day of NC and feeling better every day. 

[Rifka]

100. day of NC and feeling better every day. 

Congrats on 100! Great milestone! Feeling better is the key!

[ADecadeLost]

Well, it's been 30 days.  How's everyone doing?

[Invictus01]

I'm 3 months out... .Lost 15 or so lbs within the first 6 weeks 'cause I couldn't eat or sleep. Also, had pretty crappy gym attendance 'cause my life was completely out of control. The last month have been killing it in the gym and running. My FitBit can't stop counting all the steps! Back to 5-6 mile runs 2-3 times a week and weights 2-3 times a week plus soccer on Sundays. That crap really takes your mind off everything by the time you can start feeling your lungs in your throat somewhere around mile #5... .   

[Rifka]

I'm 3 months out... .Lost 15 or so lbs within the first 6 weeks 'cause I couldn't eat or sleep. Also, had pretty crappy gym attendance 'cause my life was completely out of control. The last month have been killing it in the gym and running. My FitBit can't stop counting all the steps! Back to 5-6 mile runs 2-3 times a week and weights 2-3 times a week plus soccer on Sundays. That crap really takes your mind off everything by the time you can start feeling your lungs in your throat somewhere around mile #5... .   

Great job! It's always great to feel good!

[Rifka]

30 days and 15 lbs off! Most just water weight from the first week, but it's all good! How are you other people doing? I'm dancing a lot and really watching what I eat. I'm also having many small meals instead of 3 meals and drinking a bit more water.


Anyone up to the next 30?

[ADecadeLost]

Guess I should have mentioned how I was doing when I bumped this back to the top.

Haven't rode the bike much due to the cold weather, but I've managed to stay active and eat healthy (ok, I tend to cheat a bit on the weekends).  Hit a major milestone along the way and found myself below 200 lbs for the first time in a decade.  I've been steadily shedding 1-1.5 lbs per week since late December. And as of this morning, I'm down to 193 Lbs. 

Beyond the weight, my energy/motivation seems to have made a major jump in the last few weeks.  It's manifesting in an urge to take up hockey again after 10+ years away from the rink.  Sadly, finding a rec league is a bit of a challenge living in the south.

Anyone up to the next 30?

I'm up for another 30.  Hoping I can keep up the motivation and make my way below 190 lbs by then.  A nice long hike tomorrow morning and a day in the kayak Sunday should be a good start (just need the weather to cooperate).

[kc sunshine]

Hi Rifka and everyone!

I'm in too! I'll start my 30 day count from tomorrow!

 

[Rifka]

Hi Rifka and everyone!

I'm in too! I'll start my 30 day count from tomorrow!

 

Welcome kc! Happy to have you here, ready to start taking care of you! 

Rifka

[Rifka]

Guess I should have mentioned how I was doing when I bumped this back to the top.

Haven't rode the bike much due to the cold weather, but I've managed to stay active and eat healthy (ok, I tend to cheat a bit on the weekends).  Hit a major milestone along the way and found myself below 200 lbs for the first time in a decade.  I've been steadily shedding 1-1.5 lbs per week since late December. And as of this morning, I'm down to 193 Lbs. 

Beyond the weight, my energy/motivation seems to have made a major jump in the last few weeks.  It's manifesting in an urge to take up hockey again after 10+ years away from the rink.  Sadly, finding a rec league is a bit of a challenge living in the south.

Anyone up to the next 30?

I'm up for another 30.  Hoping I can keep up the motivation and make my way below 190 lbs by then.  A nice long hike tomorrow morning and a day in the kayak Sunday should be a good start (just need the weather to cooperate).

Congrats on the under 200 mark! I hope that you are proud of yourself. Sounds like you are losing at a healthy rate.

Here in Jersey the snow is everywhere, the lakes are frozen and it hit 0 degrees twice in the last week. I think somebody is confusing us with the artic!

I'm feeling ready to move south!

Keep up the great work! A toast to the next 30 days! Maybe they bring peace, muscles and weight loss in a healthy way!

Rifka

[NYMike]

NC for about 75 days.

I can't believe how much better I am feeling.I may not be out of the woods just yet but I have a good start.

I never thought in a million years I would actually feel better.I was thinking suicide in the first week.I lost close to 40 lbs and every aspect of my life was disrupted.

NC Works and taking care of ourselves.

NYMIKE

[ADecadeLost]

I'm feeling ready to move south!

I moved south from NY for college, and never looked back.  As much as I miss summers in the north east, I do not miss the months of shoveling snow and dealing with icy roads.  I highly recommend it.