Daughter is considering becoming an exotic dancer

[Parents! Get help here!]

Hi There,

I know how difficult this situation is as my own daughter went through incredibly high risk and destructive behaviors for a long time.  I tortured myself trying to get her to stop until I starting learning through my own recovery that the only way out of the suffering was acceptance of something I can do nothing about. Years later, it's working out wonderfully. It seems you are doing a great job of acceptance.

In my experience, the best thing you can do is to be vulnerable and let her know you are afraid that she will be hurt because you care so deeply.  It's so difficult when we feel so powerless, but the truth is you do have a choice in how you respond. 

It seems to me that the number one concern is her personal safety and that you can have a little say over.

Let her know that no matter what, she has a life line to you in the form of your phone number and that any time she is afraid, she can call you and you will be there to insure that she is safe.  That if she reaches out to you, you will not let anything bad happen to her.  That you feel their are other options in life for her that would be better for her and meanwhile she has a safe haven.  Doing your best to make her feel safe and loved is the very best thing you can do for her. 

Her critical voice is running her life and behaviors so your non-judgmental presence will soothe that. 

[Teresa Lynne]

Hi There,

I know how difficult this situation is as my own daughter went through incredibly high risk and destructive behaviors for a long time.  I tortured myself trying to get her to stop until I starting learning through my own recovery that the only way out of the suffering was acceptance of something I can do nothing about. Years later, it's working out wonderfully. It seems you are doing a great job of acceptance.

In my experience, the best thing you can do is to be vulnerable and let her know you are afraid that she will be hurt because you care so deeply.  It's so difficult when we feel so powerless, but the truth is you do have a choice in how you respond. 

It seems to me that the number one concern is her personal safety and that you can have a little say over.

Let her know that no matter what, she has a life line to you in the form of your phone number and that any time she is afraid, she can call you and you will be there to insure that she is safe.  That if she reaches out to you, you will not let anything bad happen to her.  That you feel their are other options in life for her that would be better for her and meanwhile she has a safe haven.  Doing your best to make her feel safe and loved is the very best thing you can do for her. 

Her critical voice is running her life and behaviors so your non-judgmental presence will soothe that. 

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders