My actress friend has BPD

[stntylr]

Hi, I'm a married NON and I almost had an affair with a married friend who is a pwBPD.

We started out as friends. we both work as actors, she full time and I act part time. Mostly etra work on TV shows and movies. My pwBPD friend has had a couple of speaking parts on TV but isn't famous although she likes to think she is.

We met working on a Food Network show and hit it right off. for the first few months we only saw each other on the set of various TV shows and movies we were working on. She always had funny stories about the bad behaviour of actors on shows.

Things began to change back in November when we both went out of state to work on a movie. We stayed in the same hotel and spent a lot of time together on set and back at the hotel. After that that week we started texting each other alot. Then she she started calling me. Now I was having trouble with my wife so I really liked the attention. since we both had time off during the week when our spouse were at work we started meeting for lunch every Monday.

She would tell me how terrible her marriage was and what an awful temper her husband had the huge fights he would start. I felt bad for her. She would also tell me that I needed to leave my wife. Then one day she was driving back from when she had doning a scene on a TV show. she called me five times while driving. first just to talk then she called me and told me that she loved me as a friend and she want to leave her husband and that I could leave my wife and move with her to  where she had gotten a part on a TV show. I didn't have an answer for that but she seemed okay with that. After that though she started calling several times a day and texting.

[stntylr]

Then one week we both went to the same city out of state to work on the TV show. the first day I was there as I was going to the set she told me. "You've never been here before. I'm going to show you around." she then took my hand and we held hands on the set for a few minutes. It was kind of nice holding hands with her. Two days later we were back. this time we did a strange scene where she was naked but I had clothes. (don't ask). After we were done on our way back to the hotel she started crying and said that she loved me then she kissed me. I was really surprised.

The next day she got a notice to do a fitting elsewhere in the state and wanted me to come with her to register at Central Casting there. We left early one Monday morning and that when it happened. she started to become really irritated at me. complained about everything. My cell phone was too lound etc.

Later she noticed my car needed an oil change and she really tore into me about that. told me i had to get one that day. Plus my windows were dirty and it went on and on always telling me that I was playing some kind of game with her.

We spent the night at the house of a friend of hers and I got up early in the morning and got everything fixed with my car. At first she seemed happy and we were okay on our trip back. buthen she got really irritated again. this time she really got personal and said some really mean things. eventaully she was going crazy over a banana she thought I should have bought for myself.

[stntylr]

I was really shocked and hurt that my friend who just said she loved me would say such terrible things. I spent the next day in shock and text a common friend of ours about what had happened.

Then one day right at noon I get a text from my pwBPD saying that I had made her friend upset and she was blocking me on facebook and to never contact her again.

Again I was hurt but I didn't contact her. A couple of days later I found out that my pwBPD friend was asking about me and one day I gaot a text from her just like nothing was wrong. I even saw her again the next week on the set of the TV show and we were fine. Not flirting like before but we got along. I was hoping that we could be friends again. but the next day I got another text. she accused me of trying to manipulate her and then I didn't here from her for two weeks. then one day I noticed she had unblocked me from Facebook. I sent her a friend request which she accepted. I even started to reply to some of her posts on facebook and I looked at some of her old post from when I had been blocked and found one complaining about me.

[stntylr]

But still determined to be friends I sent her a funny text and got an immeadiate reply that I was scary her with my texts. She told me that I didn't know what boundries were and then then threatened to call the police because I was stalking her.

I haven't contacted her since. I do know she texted our friend a warning for me not to ttry contact her. and I haven't I've stayed away.

The problem is now I still have to see her. we will most likely do an acting job together sometime plus we are already on a bunch of shows together.

And still I hurt for the loss of a friend I've accepted that we can't be friends anymore. but I do miss her.

[stntylr]

Now I hear there is a rumor going around that she's pregnant and I'm the father.

Ack!

[JohnLove]

Hello stntylr, I don't think I need to tell you to be VERY careful. You experienced some idealisation which I know feels great, but I don't need to tell you this woman is VERY disordered. You triangulated her with the mutual friend. Not real healthy but then "relationships" with pwBPD never really are. You have also experienced the devaluation that only a pwBPD can sink to without genuine reason. My suspicion is that although this pwBPD is successful or popular on a shallow level, she sounds like she is a life wrecker. Sadly she will probably do that to herself first. I'm guessing that being in the business she has many orbiters. You need to read the lessons on here. If you feel that you want to continue to interact with this person, then you'd better be prepared for the WORST... .and you might not like it.

[stntylr]

Of course we are in five movies together so I will have to see those movies with her in them.

I'm trying to hold to the No Contact rule. I don't know what will happen if we work together again. I'm working on the shows she's on next Monday but I've been told she won't be there that day.

[stntylr]

A common friend told my pwBPD about the pregnacy rumor. she immeadiately accused me of starting it. About what I expected.