Messed up dream / your thoughts please

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

Quick backround.

Emptied out some of my garden / canning things out of storage to give to a friend.

Gardening and canning were a HUGE part of my life when I was married.

I cannot do those things now, where I am.

I am leaving in a few min to take the stuff too her.

Last night / this morning, I had a nightmare... .first one in a while... .

I was in the hospital, and had just had a baby;

My bed and the babies bed, were in the middle of a huge room, with other beds (all empty) all around.

My ex came in and told me he was taking the baby.

I freaked.

When I got out of the hospital bed, his father, grandfather (who is dead) brother and his wife, and his mother were all at the foot of the bed. I ran to thru the halls looking for a nurse to stop him, and she said "sorry, laws have changed, and he can do what he wants"... .so I ran back to the bed frantic; begging him not to take the baby because I needed to feed him... .

Then I work up.

Out of breath, totally on edge... .and I can't shake that "feeling".

That panicked, freaking out, fearful feeling.

What the heck man. Not cool.

What is going on with my dreams?

[going places]

Quick backround.

Emptied out some of my garden / canning things out of storage to give to a friend.

Gardening and canning were a HUGE part of my life when I was married.

I cannot do those things now, where I am.

I am leaving in a few min to take the stuff too her.

Last night / this morning, I had a nightmare... .first one in a while... .

I was in the hospital, and had just had a baby;

My bed and the babies bed, were in the middle of a huge room, with other beds (all empty) all around.

My ex came in and told me he was taking the baby.

I freaked.

When I got out of the hospital bed, his father, grandfather (who is dead) brother and his wife, and his mother were all at the foot of the bed. I ran to thru the halls looking for a nurse to stop him, and she said "sorry, laws have changed, and he can do what he wants"... .so I ran back to the bed frantic; begging him not to take the baby because I needed to feed him... .

Then I work up.

Out of breath, totally on edge... .and I can't shake that "feeling".

That panicked, freaking out, fearful feeling.

What the heck man. Not cool.

What is going on with my dreams?

[eeks]

I once read a book online written by someone who had run dream interpretation groups, and he said that the interpretation of a dream suggested by another group member (not the dreamer) is always about the member making the interpretation.  (in other words the way I interpret your dream, the symbolism I use, is coloured by what's going on for me) 

So, bearing that in mind... .

To me this sounds like you have "given birth to something precious" for yourself (the baby, representing some positive inner quality or actions) and your ex (who could either be appearing "as himself", or representing a "shadow" part of yourself) and his minions (his family) threaten to take away the gains you have made.  And you are scared that this other character doesn't know how to nurture the gains you have made (you begging him not to take the baby because you need to feed him), and whatever it is that he has taken is so central to you that it's like your baby, it offends that strong bond between mother and child, and so of course the dream leaves you with such strong feelings of panic.

I remember a previous post in which you described just wanting to be able to get on with life, but you keep having these depression and anxiety symptoms.  Maybe this is a reflection of that internal struggle, between the part of you that can nurture yourself, and is in fact doing so, and the self-protective/punitive part that threatens to slam you back into your old mode.

or... .

Maybe the gardening and canning does come into it, and although you feel healthier to be free of your ex and his abuse, because you had to give up the gardening that was a fulfilling part of your life, you do feel that your ex "took something" from you when he left, and you feel helpless to get it back.

What I find particularly interesting here, you've been pretty clear by the tone in your posts that you and your ex, not only is the relationship 100% over, you also simply do not have one iota of emotional or mental space for him or anything to do with him, his behaviour, his thought process, anything.  Gone, done, over, finished.  And yet, here he is in your dreams?

I don't find that inconsistent though, he may be gone but there's something (some energy, emotion, way of being) that he represents to you that you're still processing unconsciously (in your dreams).

[Cumulus]

Hi there. Totally agree that only the dreamer can understand the context of their own dream. It is interesting though to see what others make of them and here is what I felt when reading your description. The baby taken by your ex is something precious and a part of you that has been stolen. You are looking to get that back to nourish and care for it yourself. His family gathered around, so many of them, all aware of what he was doing, makes me wonder if you don't feel you are up against a lot of adversity with no one to support you. Who do you think the nurse, or authority figure in the dream who refused to be might be or represent?

Your dream has a familiar feel to me, different scenario but I too have had dreams with a similar feeling. Hope last nights sleep was sweeter. Cumulus.

[fromheeltoheal]

Hey Going-

My take is similar to Cumulus:

Your ex was taking from you a part of yourself, a part you consider more important than the rest of you, and he had allies.  The nurse was your critical self with the 'new laws' being self-imposed rules, making her another ally against you, and all of the empty beds were more confirmation you're all alone in this, without allies of your own, including your own critical self.  Yikes!  Panicked, freaking out and fearful are totally appropriate responses to losing the most important part of yourself with no one on your side.  Maybe the messages are to remember you are not your critical self, to find some allies and to take your self back?

One man's hallucination.