my husband fell for another lady and left me with so much of anxiety

[indraniparui]

Well... .I'll not call him my ex, coz I am still hanging on in there without a clue of what's happening next. After being in a relationship for 8 years, we decided to get married and soon after marriage, my husband decided to find a replacement. I was broken for about 7months, trying to understand what went wrong, what bad did I do, why did he plan n plot against me when he threw his heart at me, and how he got so much of help from his friends n why the other girl would not understand my pain. Aaaww... .it still hurts, and I have read so many in the same boat. Not knowing what's next, but all I know about my guy is that he's suiting his needs, there's no love, he calls me to know my financial condition n know if I started to move on... .I don't know why. I want to run faster away from him but something is making me stop n look back to see if he's still behind.

[Vindi]

 so you were in a relationship for 8 years, got married and now your husband is still with this "other woman"? What do you want to do, mend the relationship (if it can be) or file for separation/divorce?

How were the 8 years prior to your marriage, were they a good 8 years?

Know that you are not alone, you made a step by posting here... .you did say you want to run away, but still look back to see if he is behind, these are hard truths, and you have to decide what is it that "you" want, without thinking of him in the picture. Please come back and post your feelings, there is alot of help on these boards!

[indraniparui]

Those 8 years were mixed with ups n downs, we fought lot of people to be with each other and when we ultimately made it... .he left. He always wanted to go out of control, booze, smoke continuously, sex, outings, drugs, but he stopped going for all of these and came back to me. We would even fight on these issues and he would promise to keep his will strong. He never left me, I tried many times... .he would hurt himself to make me stop fight and accept him with love. He told every one that this girl doesn't exist but he's lying as I have his call records saying exactly opposite.

He calls me, I don't. His family wants me to hang on. And I love him. And I feel I am a mad girl to love him, coz he just dint replace me, but he lied to everyone about me. He made up stories to justify his action. His friends hate me and look at me like am some kind of a gold digger.

I haven't filed for divorce yet, I am at a stage where I'll b OK to move ahead or walk together. But the question is, should I? Or should i escape like a stranger... .he's my husband and if he is I'll then will it b fair to leave him?

[Vindi]

good question to ask yourself, what is it that you want to do? I guess you have to decide on your own, if you want to stay in the marriage or be alone. I am sure there is alot of "stuff" you may hear from your hubby or his friends or your family on which way to go, but the only choice has to be yours. If you see no changes in the past, then there probably will be no changes in the future. Decide what is important, *no lies* and whether you beleive your hubby or not.

[enlighten me]

good question to ask yourself, what is it that you want to do? I guess you have to decide on your own, if you want to stay in the marriage or be alone. I am sure there is alot of "stuff" you may hear from your hubby or his friends or your family on which way to go, but the only choice has to be yours. If you see no changes in the past, then there probably will be no changes in the future. Decide what is important, *no lies* and whether you beleive your hubby or not.

The line about staying in the marriage or being alone struck a chord with me as I never felt more alone in my life than when I was with my exgf.

The one thing I would say is that if your serious about leaving him then you need to start divorce proceedings and control the divorce. My ex wife recycled me after I said I wanted a divorce then started divorce proceedings. This meant she controlled it and it dragged out for 2 1/2 years.