need help getting out of an unhealthy relationship

[Depression = 72% of members]

I am in a relationship with a very unpredictable man. I never know when he will turn on me and start verbally abusing me. But I do know its going to keep happening. I broke up with him for almost a year after he was convicted of DV against me. he promised he would change but now things are as bad or worse as how they were leading up to when the first Dv event occurred. I know now he will never change, but it was so hard last time that I dread going through another break up ( he never gave up harassing me during that year we were apart). I cant understand why I keep staying and I dont trust myself anymore. The worst part about our relationship is how awful I feel about myself all the time and this overwhelming sense of numbness I live with everyday.

[gcat76]

I am in a relationship with a very unpredictable man. I never know when he will turn on me and start verbally abusing me. But I do know its going to keep happening. I broke up with him for almost a year after he was convicted of DV against me. he promised he would change but now things are as bad or worse as how they were leading up to when the first Dv event occurred. I know now he will never change, but it was so hard last time that I dread going through another break up ( he never gave up harassing me during that year we were apart). I cant understand why I keep staying and I dont trust myself anymore. The worst part about our relationship is how awful I feel about myself all the time and this overwhelming sense of numbness I live with everyday.

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Butterfly12]

I'm so sorry. And I am right there with you. The piece of advice people have told me over and over and over that has been effective for me is that it is critical for me to find my own joy, separately from our relationship. Work on the ME part... .as hard as that may be. And for me it was a question of starting small. Taking a shower. Buying myself a cup of coffee out. Cooking dinners I liked. And slowly, very slowly, moving on to include going out with friends and taking walks in the woods alone.

I'm so sorry. You will get there. Just know you are not alone.

[Sunfl0wer]

Hi there gcat,

Welcome!

It looks like this is your first post here.

This site is a great place to get support and lots of helpful information!

Are you looking for advice to help you to move on a path of leaving your partner?

Or are you trying to work on remaining in the relationship?