My daughter has BPD traits

[mylittlemonkey]

And she has been in and out of the hospital 5 times in the last 2 years. She has gender issues she didn't go to school most of last year  the constant mood swings and manipulation I don't know how much more I can take. Just now her friend texted me that my daughter is suicidal again but she won't talk to me. The stress is killing me. I can't sleep. I have panic attacks. I need help.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Kwamina]

Hi mylittlemonkey

You first posted here two years ago and I am sorry for the difficult circumstances that have brought you back here. Dealing with a child with BPD and suicidal thoughts isn't easy. How is your daughter doing now? Yesterday she didn't want to talk to you but have you perhaps been able to talk to her now?

Your daughter is still quite young, she was diagnosed with depression and anxiety and also borderline tendencies. Perhaps you can benefit from this thread about early signs of BPD in children:

Early signs of possible BPD traits in your children

I can totally understand how all of this is causing you so much stress. To help you deal with this difficult situation, I encourage you to go through the tools and lessons to the right of this message board.

You're dealing with a lot right now so I am very happy that you've come back here for support and advice. Do you also have a support network in real life, perhaps a therapist, you can turn to yourself to help you deal with your stress and panic attacks?

Take care

[lbjnltx]

Hi again mylittlemonkey,

I'm glad you decided to come back for some support.  I'm sorry you are still dealing with the same issues and the suicidal ideation has escalated.

In the past 2 years has your daughter been in any kind of therapy?  What do the discharge orders say when she leaves the hospital?

15/16 is hard age for kids with BPD... .adding in gender identity issues compounds the sense of shame, lack of identity and can deepen depression.

How is your daughter doing today? 

lbj

[peace_4us]

And she has been in and out of the hospital 5 times in the last 2 years. She has gender issues she didn't go to school most of last year  the constant mood swings and manipulation I don't know how much more I can take. Just now her friend texted me that my daughter is suicidal again but she won't talk to me. The stress is killing me. I can't sleep. I have panic attacks. I need help.

So, so sorry... .I can relate in so many ways with mine,... .what to do... .it's overwhelming.

[lbjnltx]

We must take care of ourselves and gain the coping skills needed to function effectively if we are going to be able to help our kids.

That is the starting point.  Ironically enough the consequences of doing this are going to benefit our kids because we can aid them by modeling these same skills for them to learn, we are able to identify with their struggle to regulate their own emotions, we teach them that all people have boundaries and limits that are to be respected and all these things will improve our relationship with them.  At the same time we are healthier and they have opportunities to get healthier as well.

Win... .Win... .Win

lbj