Very confused and hurt

[VIDEO: "What is parental alienation?"]

 

I just broke up with my ex. We had a great relationship, it didn't start too quickly and we didn't rush into being together. About 5 months into knowing him he started to tell me he thinks he has body dis-morphia and that he hates himself and his appearance. This eventually led him t

o break down and cry one day when he realised how bad he's felt since he was a child and he's had suicidal thoughts. I reassured him I would be there for him and told him he should seek help and that he should learn to love himself. He opened up to me and let me in and I was there for him, I never shouted or got angry at him when he used to ask if he looked ok. I should probably mention he's a professional actor.

He got worse and worse and was saying he feels worthless but I continued to be there for him. He met my parents and was acting weird all weekend, he tried to pick fights with me and push me away. Then he'd feel awful for seeing me upset. I assured him I just wanted him to be ok. Then one day he came over and was acting weird and he eventually told me he had cheated on me. At first he said it had just happened but then admitted he'd invited the girl whilst he was filming. She knew about me. He said he had come over to break up with me but couldn't do it, he said he switched off his feelings for me but when he saw me he broke down and realised he loved me.

I talked it through with him and he said he wanted to focus on getting happier and on me, I never fooled myself so we kept discussing everything like adults. I went with him to his GP to register for help. This was ok for a week or so and then he rang me saying he couldn't do it and felt suffocated being in a relationship so we decided to end it until he could figure himself out more. I need to add he told me he wanted to be together and he was the old who told me he loved me. He said he has never cared for someone so much and felt this way and that it freaks him out and he can't have people care for him, yet he hops from girl to girl and always has one lined up. It's like he wants all the affection, attention and approval but doesn't want to feel emotions even though he knows he feels emotions so deeply.

Then last night he told me he had seen the girl again because he didn't know why he cheated and needed to figure all this out.He said he told her he missed me and she said she was worried he'd go back to me and he said she's probably right. I told him I couldn't be here for him anymore because he can't have me here for him yet continue to have weird flings. He's also said he likes how he can have connections with people and it's like an addiction and he met another girl a few days after the first one visited and said he felt a connection with her.

He still continues to say he loves me and I know he did at one point before this bad episode he's experiencing, but I don't know what to do. I feel like he's two people. I don't want to abandon someone who's suffering but I need to think about myself, he's playing with my emotions, am I doing the right thing by cutting him off for a bit? I do not have the knowledge to diagnose him but he said he identifies with this disorder based on how's he's feeling

He should be getting help soon.

Thanks for anyone who has any advice!

[Sdavis313]

 

I just broke up with my ex. We had a great relationship, it didn't start too quickly and we didn't rush into being together. About 5 months into knowing him he started to tell me he thinks he has body dis-morphia and that he hates himself and his appearance. This eventually led him t

o break down and cry one day when he realised how bad he's felt since he was a child and he's had suicidal thoughts. I reassured him I would be there for him and told him he should seek help and that he should learn to love himself. He opened up to me and let me in and I was there for him, I never shouted or got angry at him when he used to ask if he looked ok. I should probably mention he's a professional actor.

He got worse and worse and was saying he feels worthless but I continued to be there for him. He met my parents and was acting weird all weekend, he tried to pick fights with me and push me away. Then he'd feel awful for seeing me upset. I assured him I just wanted him to be ok. Then one day he came over and was acting weird and he eventually told me he had cheated on me. At first he said it had just happened but then admitted he'd invited the girl whilst he was filming. She knew about me. He said he had come over to break up with me but couldn't do it, he said he switched off his feelings for me but when he saw me he broke down and realised he loved me.

I talked it through with him and he said he wanted to focus on getting happier and on me, I never fooled myself so we kept discussing everything like adults. I went with him to his GP to register for help. This was ok for a week or so and then he rang me saying he couldn't do it and felt suffocated being in a relationship so we decided to end it until he could figure himself out more. I need to add he told me he wanted to be together and he was the old who told me he loved me. He said he has never cared for someone so much and felt this way and that it freaks him out and he can't have people care for him, yet he hops from girl to girl and always has one lined up. It's like he wants all the affection, attention and approval but doesn't want to feel emotions even though he knows he feels emotions so deeply.

Then last night he told me he had seen the girl again because he didn't know why he cheated and needed to figure all this out.He said he told her he missed me and she said she was worried he'd go back to me and he said she's probably right. I told him I couldn't be here for him anymore because he can't have me here for him yet continue to have weird flings. He's also said he likes how he can have connections with people and it's like an addiction and he met another girl a few days after the first one visited and said he felt a connection with her.

He still continues to say he loves me and I know he did at one point before this bad episode he's experiencing, but I don't know what to do. I feel like he's two people. I don't want to abandon someone who's suffering but I need to think about myself, he's playing with my emotions, am I doing the right thing by cutting him off for a bit? I do not have the knowledge to diagnose him but he said he identifies with this disorder based on how's he's feeling

He should be getting help soon.

Thanks for anyone who has any advice!

[once removed]

hey sdavis313 and welcome to bpdfamily 

im really sorry to hear about the breakup. these relationships can be very confusing and often volatile. im glad you found us!

i think youre doing well for yourself to create some space, it can really help you sort your feelings, process the relationship, decide where you want to go from here. while you do so, i encourage you to spend some time looking through the links directly to the right side of the screen, i think youll find them very useful.

we are here to help in this process. how are you doing today?