All in all, healing supppsedly isn't a linear process which is comforting. I would love to hear some of the experiences you've had with growing in self-awareness, getting in touch with your heart's space or finding the self-love that lives deep down inside.
DisorderedSociety, that is a great question that I could probably write volumes upon without really coming to any thing conclusive. Your word "process" really resonates. It has been a long one for me.
If there has been one consistent facet of my process it has been the need for love and acceptance from others and even that was a "process" to recognize what I needed it and then allow myself to receive it.
Much of what you mentioned as your coping mechanisms have been part of mine as well. But nothing has resonated more than someone hugging me as I am, seeing all my warts and flaws and still loving me all the same.
So, though don't know you, here is a hug and some love for you and a prayer that we all move forward to a better place in our journey!