Teeange daughter possibly has BPD

[Angelbi77]

I am just looking for some advice and insight. My 15 year old daughter has been struggling with a plethora of issues for according to her, about 3 years, but we have only been made aware in the last 6 months. She is a severe cutter, bulimic at times, has awful mood swings... .she can go from normal to depressed to rages where she punches holes in walls all over our house. We have provided a good life for her and there is no known trauma or abuse that would've brought this on. There is a history in her grandparents of mental issues though. We've tried counseling, she has been inpatient twice, and is currently on Gabapentin and Seroquel. The Seroquel is because she has insomnia at times and can go days with little to no sleep, and now more recently has fallen into a pattern of at times sleeping for 12 hours plus. She also has an adrenaline addiction that has ranged from jumping trains to stealing to plenty of other risky behaviors. She can go from extremely emotional to in her words 'numb and uncaring'. Also she suddenly says she's bisexual and has never given us any reason to think that would be the case as we are a very open minded family. I feel like we've hit a wall with meds and therapy and nothing is getting better. None of her doctors want to diagnose her with anything, but I think this sounds like BPD and maybe if not diagnosing her we should be treating it as such. I am beyond stressed out and this has consumed our whole family. Anyone who has been in our position and has some words of wisdom or suggestions would be much appreciated.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[lbjnltx]

Hi Angelbi77,

Welcome to the site and the Parenting Board.  We are glad to have you here telling us about your daughter and looking for some help.

My d was diagnosed at 12 w/emerging BPD.  We did outpatient therapy for 2.5 years with little to no gains (except for myself), medications (helped marginally), and one inpatient (2 weeks) stay.

How long was your d in therapy and what kind of therapy was she doing? 

How is your relationship with your daughter now?

lbj

[JustAMum]

I have a 17yr old d who has been unofficially diagnosed with BPD. Your d sounds similar to mine. Her psych won't officially diagnose her until she is 18. I don't have any pearls of wisdom to share just wanted you to know that you are not alone.

[DisneyMom]

My 15 year old DD has mood disorder and BPD traits (they just don't diagnose until 18) among other diagnoses. She also struggles with cutting. Her mental health took a nose dive a few months after she turned 14, and she started to recover after about 7 months of hell. I prefer the term "recovering self-injurer" to cutter because it IS a physical addiction. We accept it IS a battle for the long term. The average is 5-10 year. My DD stays clean one day at a time. And no, she hasn't been 100 percent clean in her recovery. There have been a number of relapse cutting incidents. Thankfully she has reached a point that she wants to recover. She cares, and she does try, really, really hard. Many times she has used skills to stop herself from cutting. And I am so very proud of her. She trusts me and her therapist to help her find ways to deal with the urges. It took a long time to get the this point, but she did get there.

At her sickest time, her mood swings into "rage moods" got pretty severe and led to several hospitalizations, including one WHILE she was at RTC. During that last hospitalization, a psychiatrist reviewed her meds. She had tried seroquel, but gained 40 lbs and then absolutely refused it. She won't take anything with a weight gain side effect, so anti-psychotics are out. I'm not too upset about that, I don't like the long term risks. They only made her sleepy anyway, it did nothing to help her depression or psychotic symptoms. He took her off Adderall and Geodon and put her on Lamictal. That is when her severe depression finally, finally started lifting. Her moods stabilized. Unfortunately after about a month, got a rash, and had to stop Lamictal, but switched to Wellbutrin, which seemed to have the same positive benefit. Lexapro formerly and now Zoloft, I'm not sure do anything for her. Things aren't perfect now, but are much, much better.

Our DD spent 5 months in RTC, and she will tell you it was awful, though she had really wanted to go. In fact, she was determined to go. I STILL grieve that nightmare. But at the time, we truly had no choice. She was suicidal and could not stop self injuring. We could not care for her at home and care for our other child. RTC saved her life. There was definitely good and not good pieces to it. She did not complete the program. We pulled her out after 5 months because her depression had lifted and our relationship had mended enough for her to live at home. We all appreciate each other a lot more having been apart for so long. I will say that weekly family therapy while she was at RTC and regular home weekend visits healed our family. But it took months, our relationship with DD was so broken. She was only about 40 miles from home, and I can't imagine having the same success if we sent her further away. I had no idea how far she would fall. I softened. I changed. Our DD has attentional issues, so she got as much as she could from the RTC DBT, and it was time for her to come home. I saw clear as day a law of diminishing returns to her progress in RTC. She was never going to measure up to their standards. She went from completing 15 percent of work to 85 percent. But since it wasn't 98 percent, she wasn't going to progress in stages. It wasn't right for her anymore. We saw so much more to enrich her with at home. She fell in love while touring a new high school. We brought her home.

I wish you the best in your journey with your DD. It's not an easy path, and most people just don't understand. But lean on those who do. You are not alone!

[Mom_on_Eggshells]

Welcome Angelbi77

    My 14 y/o dd has "BP" traits, dx' of ADHD, PDD, MDD, and Mood disorder.  But we're in year 8 of getting her the right help. 

There's tons of useful info here, and always a an ear and a shoulder when you need it.