No more walking on eggshells for me

[Beware of Junk Psychology...]

I am so upset once again... .My stbx calls me at 4:30 am to tell me a close neighbor he had in his hometown had passed away and he wanted me to give him the money to go up there to pay his respects (like he respects anyone)... .little did I know he has just talked to his parents who told him NOT to come up there. They don't like to deal with him and this wasn't a family member, just a neighbor he grew up next to. We argue via text quite awhile and makes all kinds of threats. I am now blocking him from calling me during my sleeping hours since he keeps doing this when he is drunk and disturbing my sleep. I told him he should be discussing these things with Bozo (my nickname for his GF) which he says she has no money and he never defends her when I call her that. After threats from him, I threatened him back that I will tell his GF the truth about him that he does not want her to know if he doesn't leave me alone. He continued to call me names and threaten me and give me a hard time about paying my health insurance and alimony. Claiming I was doing this out of spite and being hurt.

   Two days later, I was so angry, I decided to quit walking on eggshells and tell him how I really feel. I sent him this e-mail;

 "The reason I am so upset with you is because you tricked me into marrying  you by telling me you were sterile and getting me pregnant. Then you told me we had to hurry up and get married to get me on your insurance. Somehow you changed the whole story to fit your version into how you wanted to see it. I took you in when you had nothing. No car, no cell phone, no glasses, no career. I spent all my money helping you get out of debt and fix your credit. I spent tons of money on your hobbies and supported you through all of your career promotions and mental problems. You told me you would love me forever. You lied to me and I feel used and abused. You cheated on me several times and told me you hated me and couldn't wait to get rid of me and the house... .Now you want me to feel sorry for you and help you financially? It doesn't work that way. You made your choices. I'm not hurting Dan. I'm pissed that I wasted years of my life on someone like you that I thought really cared about me too. It's obvious to me now you never did. That's why I can't help you anymore. You chose someone else to be with you to help you. I am no longer available for you to use and abuse. Since you have been calling me at 4 and 5 am, I am unable to sleep properly again, so I have to put my phone on do not disturb so I can only hope to get back into a normal sleeping pattern. You should not be angry for paying me alimony, you should realize it it payment back for 8 years of my taking care of you and be glad to do it. You broke your promise to be there for me always... .I hope your life is going the way you want it now and it was all worth it to you- I really do. I'm better off now without you as well. So don't think I'm doing anything out of spite. It's purely taking care of myself first for once. I read an article that said, you should stay with the one that was there for you in the beginning... .They are the one that really cares for you- You are the one who messed up. You can never take it back now. You need to be nice to me and understanding why I am angry. You caused it. Not me... ."

   So, I emailed him knowing he is getting ready to go to court with the possibility of going to jail. He tried to call, but I don't want to talk to him. He was supposed to make sure the alimony money was directly deposited into a joint account that we use just for transferring money. Now I don't know what will happen there, but today He calls me and tells me he is in his hometown at the funeral! I don't know how he got there, whether he decided not to pay a bill with his paycheck or if he drove up with his mistress that he cheated on me with! Who is separated from her husband now too! I wonder if the parents are furious with him? She posted on FB that she left work sick, so she could have gone with him... .yet he told me this was just family and she wasn't going. I wrote to his Mom to find out and haven't heard yet, but They think this girl is trash and they don't put anything past his doings... .How horrible for him to disrespect their wishes. I feel awful if he took her to meet his family, yet His Mom says he is just using her like he uses everyone else. I hope he is up there alone so she can give him "what for " for what he did to me. They haven't spoken for months. I actually hope his mother tells the Gf some truths about him as she did to me when I first met her if she is! He is a vile manipulative evil person and had the nerve to write to me today letting me know he got up there anyway and that I am a heartless b___ for not helping him! What part of separated with a gf does he not see that I am not there for him anymore? Why do I still worry about him? I guess it is because I am NOT heartless and I see the downward spiral he is on. He asked me if I would rather see him go to jail or be dead? What kind of question is that? Once again he tells me he loves me and wants to come home to his wife... .but I guess when I don't say yes, that we should talk about it, he acts like he just made it up- maybe he thinks it's what I want to hear or maybe he means it, I'll never know. All I know is he desperately needs help and won't get it and I can't live with him... .he is seeing I am less and less interested in him as time goes on. I am so exhausted by him, yet he can still hurt me so bad.I just hate it and feel like a complete fool. No one understands my addiction to him... .that's what they are calling it. I am sad at the loss of the person I thought he was and I do understand that. I am just having a hard time after 8 years of taking care of him I guess. His Mom is even worried about my safety, but his Dad saw that he was the best he had ever been when he was with me. Now he is literally getting stinking drunk almost every night. It's really sad. I am heartbroken and feel alone.

[Herodias]

I am so upset once again... .My stbx calls me at 4:30 am to tell me a close neighbor he had in his hometown had passed away and he wanted me to give him the money to go up there to pay his respects (like he respects anyone)... .little did I know he has just talked to his parents who told him NOT to come up there. They don't like to deal with him and this wasn't a family member, just a neighbor he grew up next to. We argue via text quite awhile and makes all kinds of threats. I am now blocking him from calling me during my sleeping hours since he keeps doing this when he is drunk and disturbing my sleep. I told him he should be discussing these things with Bozo (my nickname for his GF) which he says she has no money and he never defends her when I call her that. After threats from him, I threatened him back that I will tell his GF the truth about him that he does not want her to know if he doesn't leave me alone. He continued to call me names and threaten me and give me a hard time about paying my health insurance and alimony. Claiming I was doing this out of spite and being hurt.

   Two days later, I was so angry, I decided to quit walking on eggshells and tell him how I really feel. I sent him this e-mail;

 "The reason I am so upset with you is because you tricked me into marrying  you by telling me you were sterile and getting me pregnant. Then you told me we had to hurry up and get married to get me on your insurance. Somehow you changed the whole story to fit your version into how you wanted to see it. I took you in when you had nothing. No car, no cell phone, no glasses, no career. I spent all my money helping you get out of debt and fix your credit. I spent tons of money on your hobbies and supported you through all of your career promotions and mental problems. You told me you would love me forever. You lied to me and I feel used and abused. You cheated on me several times and told me you hated me and couldn't wait to get rid of me and the house... .Now you want me to feel sorry for you and help you financially? It doesn't work that way. You made your choices. I'm not hurting Dan. I'm pissed that I wasted years of my life on someone like you that I thought really cared about me too. It's obvious to me now you never did. That's why I can't help you anymore. You chose someone else to be with you to help you. I am no longer available for you to use and abuse. Since you have been calling me at 4 and 5 am, I am unable to sleep properly again, so I have to put my phone on do not disturb so I can only hope to get back into a normal sleeping pattern. You should not be angry for paying me alimony, you should realize it it payment back for 8 years of my taking care of you and be glad to do it. You broke your promise to be there for me always... .I hope your life is going the way you want it now and it was all worth it to you- I really do. I'm better off now without you as well. So don't think I'm doing anything out of spite. It's purely taking care of myself first for once. I read an article that said, you should stay with the one that was there for you in the beginning... .They are the one that really cares for you- You are the one who messed up. You can never take it back now. You need to be nice to me and understanding why I am angry. You caused it. Not me... ."

   So, I emailed him knowing he is getting ready to go to court with the possibility of going to jail. He tried to call, but I don't want to talk to him. He was supposed to make sure the alimony money was directly deposited into a joint account that we use just for transferring money. Now I don't know what will happen there, but today He calls me and tells me he is in his hometown at the funeral! I don't know how he got there, whether he decided not to pay a bill with his paycheck or if he drove up with his mistress that he cheated on me with! Who is separated from her husband now too! I wonder if the parents are furious with him? She posted on FB that she left work sick, so she could have gone with him... .yet he told me this was just family and she wasn't going. I wrote to his Mom to find out and haven't heard yet, but They think this girl is trash and they don't put anything past his doings... .How horrible for him to disrespect their wishes. I feel awful if he took her to meet his family, yet His Mom says he is just using her like he uses everyone else. I hope he is up there alone so she can give him "what for " for what he did to me. They haven't spoken for months. I actually hope his mother tells the Gf some truths about him as she did to me when I first met her if she is! He is a vile manipulative evil person and had the nerve to write to me today letting me know he got up there anyway and that I am a heartless b___ for not helping him! What part of separated with a gf does he not see that I am not there for him anymore? Why do I still worry about him? I guess it is because I am NOT heartless and I see the downward spiral he is on. He asked me if I would rather see him go to jail or be dead? What kind of question is that? Once again he tells me he loves me and wants to come home to his wife... .but I guess when I don't say yes, that we should talk about it, he acts like he just made it up- maybe he thinks it's what I want to hear or maybe he means it, I'll never know. All I know is he desperately needs help and won't get it and I can't live with him... .he is seeing I am less and less interested in him as time goes on. I am so exhausted by him, yet he can still hurt me so bad.I just hate it and feel like a complete fool. No one understands my addiction to him... .that's what they are calling it. I am sad at the loss of the person I thought he was and I do understand that. I am just having a hard time after 8 years of taking care of him I guess. His Mom is even worried about my safety, but his Dad saw that he was the best he had ever been when he was with me. Now he is literally getting stinking drunk almost every night. It's really sad. I am heartbroken and feel alone.