I REALLY need an answer: is she sincere or is it all an act?

[Decorum]

So I had an intense relationship with this girl with borderline a few month ago, she seemed like the perfect girl, like we were meant to be together. She told me she had borderline from the beginning after I admitted having a mild form of autism. The only symptoms she had so far was moodswings, so I thought I could live with that. But suddenly, she just disappeared, broke all contact, after talking to her for months. Then she contacted me out of the blue on fb, told me she was in a negative spiral of alcohol, drugs and sex and that she's really sorry and it would be better for me to not talk with her again. I felt terrible and wanted to talk to her about that, but she immediately went no-contact again.

Then I obsessively did research about BPD, books and internet, and I read some things like "pwBPD don't know empathy, or love, they never care for anyone else but themselves, all they want is attention, they play mindgames and manipulate constantly and the best thing you could do is run away and never look back" (I don't know if these things are true)

She recently messaged me again, saying she wanted to talk to me sooner but was afraid of what my reaction would be. Then she surprised me by being really open about her borerline. For example, she kept appologizing, saying she was in some 'manic/psychotic state' when she did the things she did. She said that this isn't the person she wants to be and wishes she could be normal instead of f*cking things up, etc.

Now,she said it would be a bad idea to pick up the relationship again, but that she would like to remain friends and really like to see me to talk more about what happened. Is all of this somekind of game she's playing, just because she's in the need of attention? Is she really sorry? Does she have another motive to meet me besides 'talking'? I really have no idea since I read so many contradictive things about BPD.

(English is not my primary language - sorry if I made some mistakes)

[OnceConfused]

I can pass on to  your a simple sentence that my professial therapist advised me after listening to my story:

"Be careful, this is a very risky relationship."

YOu are at a very good point in your r.s with her to say good bye. Just read many of the posts here and you will find the relationship with BPD is not a pleasant one, as it is filled with drama, crises and headaches. You  actually have seen that with this girl. So don't expect those negative things will stop, they are coming.

BPD is very wonderful at first when they try to bring you into their web. They often mirror you so as to make you feel you have met your soul mate and you will be forever happy being with them. Yet, once the intimacy begins then the ugly head of BPD comes out. All of a sudden, your soul mate turns out to be a constant source of crises, or headaches.

My suggestion is that since you are only at the beginning stage of the relationship and you have already seen the bad stuffs, you should just move on. Reserve your time and effort for a NORMAL relationship.

good luck my friend