Help getting her to sign/stop slandering my name

[justaboutdone]

I am at the very end of our divorce and final decree has been read into record. However, she keeps delaying and making it impossible to end this. Does anyone have any suggestions? Besides the fact that her fear of abomdement will finally be real the only other thing I can think of is her having health insurance from me and saving her money as long as we are married. I could go on with pages of crazy behavior from her during the divorce but I just want it finalized.

Second question, she is continually trying to drag my name in the mud from extremely embellished truths to giant lies. I have never done anything but she has done some horribly bad things things that involve lots domestic violence between me and the kids. I have lots of audio and video. How do I counter her slandering of me without break out the facts?

[maxen]

Hi justaboutdone. I'm on phone and can't type much. Being tarred is an awful experience. Do the things your exw is saying have potential legal ramifications?

[livednlearned]

Hi justaboutdone,

I'm sorry that the finalization of the divorce has been so difficult. It is that way for many of us -- negative engagement is still engagement, and a pwBPD prefers this to nothing.

How is she trying to delay it? Do you mean by not complying with the terms of the order? The only thing that worked for me, and which took a while to learn, was to make sure that every order had contingent language in case of non-compliance. Even then, it was difficult to get my ex to comply, but at least when I had to go to court, the judge inevitably ruled in my favor, since the terms of non-compliance were written into the order.

As far as the smear campaign, I think there is a template letter in Splitting: Protecting yourself while divorcing a BPD/NPD spouse by Bill Eddy. Some members here have adapted that letter for their own purposes, and then sent it to friends and family. It hits the right tone and sets the record straight. It might not convince everyone, but it may convince some that there are at least two sides to the story, and that can provide some relief.

LnL