RTCs - positive experiences, tips for research?

[thora]

I am interested in hearing from any who have had experience with RTCs and, if possible, names of facilities (if that's permitted on the forum or private message me). We are considering Timberline Knolls. If anyone has direct experience with that facility, please either post or private message me. I am interested in hearing about positive experiences but definitely want to hear of any we should stay away from along with any specifics on why.

My d 19 exhibits traits of BPD and is mostly non-combative with us (her parents) but she is really struggling with severe depression and suicidal ideation. Though she has therapy 2x week and six month DBT course and is on meds, it has not helped. Her therapist feels an RTC would provide the structure and consistency she needs to benefit from therapy. As it is now, she may have a good session but lacks the follow through once she's out in the world and the ability to set structure for herself. So, in my d's mind, she's working so hard and nothing helps.

If anyone has a list of questions for RTCs, that would be helpful. It's a huge $ commitment and I want to be sure we are sending her to a good place and not a system where she will be made worse and lose complete faith in her ability to get better.

Thank you for any input on this.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[lbjnltx]

Hi thora,

Have you looked at the links at the bottom of Lesson 6? ----->  The threads have not been vetted or organized yet and there is still a great deal of info to gather from them.  For example... .here is a topic that has a vetting form I created when I was searching.  Be mindful that I had already established a search criteria based on what I believed would help my daughter the most... .like more than DBT, lots of equine, all girls, group therapy model, etc... .

https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=182836

Our family had a very successful RTC experience.  We attended Falcon Ridge Ranch.  At 19 your daughter is an adult... .does she want to go to an RTC?


lbj

[thora]

Thanks for your reply @lbjnltx . Where is Lesson 6? Can you send me a link? Sorry if I'm overlooking something obvious as to where to find it!

"Have you looked at the links at the bottom of Lesson 6? -----> "

And, yes, my d is open to the RTC now and that is new. She has been resistant but now realizes she needs more support out of her current environment. Her social circle is involved with drugs -- a bad influence on her and further complicates her situation. The lure of an immediate feel good after years of therapy still feeling rotten--well, it's very strong. However, she now sees it's short lived relief and she feels even worse after.

[thora]

Nevermind @lbjnltx... .I found Lesson 6!

[lbjnltx]

Hi thora,

How is the search going?  Is your d19 still open to going?




lbj

[DearBFF]

thora, hope your search is going well!  I came across this blog post today, it is a bit old but the information may still be helpful.  I wasn't even aware that there is such a thing as scholarships for residential treatment.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/stop-walking-eggshells/201311/scholarships-treatment-borderline-disorder

Good luck and I hope you find something that helps.  It must be frustrating for both you and your wife.  Take care

[Someday . . .]

Hi!  You may want to check ARTAusa.org.   They have an up to date list of 30 residential treatment centers that have met certain standards.  I recently was looking for an RTC for my daughter and typed in "Timberline Knolls Reviews" and "The Meehl Foundation" reviews (up popped a thread from here!).  I was actually surprised at the negative comments for both, yet I also realize that not everyone is going to agree with someone else experiences.  I don't know how much you are willing to spend, I have heard that The Ranch in Tennessee has a good treatment program along with CPH in Los Angeles.  If your daughter is high functioning I would suggest Wellspring in Connecticut.  They take only 9 girls and it was recommended to me, though I don't have any personal experience.  My daughter went to McLean Hospital 3 East - I can not say enough good about it.  It is a 6 week program of intensive DBT but afterwards they will suggest places for longer term.  They do have an RTC if she is lucky enough to get into, it is called McLean 3 East Cambridge Program.  Also if you go on NATSAP there are suggestions for her age group.  I don't feel that they have the same stringent qualifications that ARTA has to be on their list, in fact, I feel that the programs pay to be listed.  At least you have ideas and options.  The best of luck to you!

[thora]

Thank you @lbjnltx and @DearBFF for your input.

Since my last post, my 19 yo DD was admitted to RTC. In addition to BPD, drug addiction came into play and the situation became acute so, after months of discussion, she decided she was willing to do RTC. It was a HUGE amount of work on my part to research the facility and get the financial/insurance piece in order. In addition, my husband had to make flight and hotel arrangements. Another HUGE expense. All of that I wouldn't mind if there were some ray of hope in all our efforts. As it is, it's a complete crap shoot. After many years, I don't know whether my DD is treatment resistant, lazy, or what... .I try not to be judgemental but it really bothers me when she doesn't follow through on the therapies that are prescribed for her and that we work so hard to provide for her.

Back to the RTC. As is typical in early days of admission, she became resistant and signed a 72 by the second day. Her therapist was successful in engaging her to consider changing her mind and she made real progress the second week. Towards the third week, she developed physical issues that necessitated 2 ER trips and a lot of stressful phone calls to me she has had no relief of symptoms and worrying that her concerns are being dismissed as somatic.

The infuriating part is she signs a 72 with no regard for what it means for us her parents. If she leaves AMA, that may affect future insurance coverage for her condition. Plus, she has no $ and so must expect us to scramble to buy a plane ticket home. And no thought as to relapse prevention plan.  I can go on and on but you get the picture. No planning and aforethought--just reactive impulsivity. She's like a raw nerve.

At this point, I wasn't expecting a miracle cure with the RTC -- just a structured setting where she would HAVE to do the prescribed therapies consistently. Through that, I hoped she would experience some benefit and that might give her a glimpse to a better way to handle things. She has never stuck to anything long enough to see there are better ways to deal with her issues other than through impulsivity and drugs.

I try to remain hopeful but it's hard... .the BPDs get us to give, give and we hope we can give enough to "fix" whatever is wrong. And that's the trap. If we don't set limits, they can suck us dry which is not good for us or for them.

[lbjnltx]

Thanks for the update thora, I hope she stays and works the program to get all she can from it.

Keep us posted.

lbj

[Beccafromca]

My daughter has been in a number of RTC's since 15. She's now 17 - 6 months from turning 18. She is so stubborn and difficult and resistant to any help. I have thought for so long that she was just stubborn and dealing with having ADD and depression and whatever else, but now I realize she has a mental illness. Obviously right. She is so smart and can be so lovely and loving and funny and enjoyable. And then she can be the total opposite and be argumentative, manipulative, defiant, rude (so rude), self harming, totally unmotivated, has no concept of reality and I could go on. If you met and talked with her, you would think I was completely off base about her and there was no way she could be as I've described.

When I realized she wasn't just being stubborn in not admitting to her issues, and that she truly believes she is fine and we are all wrong about her, is when I realized she is truly ill.

She has no self awareness. No clue how much torment she has caused by having to be moved from treatment center to treatment center.

She truly believes that she is fine and that she just needs to leave treatment and live on her own. She doesn't think her behavior landed her where she is, she believes all the consequences she faces have no relation to her behavior. That we are misguided and she shouldn't be in treatment.

And I am terrified of when she turns 18. No more therapy at that point - she has made clear that won't be happening. And somehow - with no money at all - she's going to live in Portland and go to community college and have an apartment and a dog. Even though she got so behind in school she dropped out and won't do what it takes to get her GED. And no money. She really believes 18 will be this magical freedom.

I have no idea what is going to go down once she is out of treatment and an "adult". Anyone who has any advice I am totally open to any and  all suggestions. 

[Beccafromca]

I realized I didn't give tips or experiences.

An educational consultant who is experienced in placing kids in RTC's and has visited them personally is a great start. They have the knowledge of the inner workings of the facilities, have helped other families and teens through the experiences of being in an RTC. Our consultant communicated with the schools to keep up with how our daughter was doing.

All the ones my daughter went to and is going to are in Utah. Because that is one of the only states where a teen cannot sign themselves out as a minor.

The one that stands out is one that she went to briefly in Montana when she was a more willing participant. It's called Chrysallis and is only for girls. My daughter was WAY too unruly for their program. She wouldn't follow any rules or accept any help. So if your kid is a tough case it's not the right place.

And get real when it comes to assessing your child and if they can work a program such as a therapeutic boarding school versus a lock down RTC. They will break your heart and your checkbook and any patience you still have and get kicked out if they aren't a willing participant. Programs will only go so far before they tell you that your child needs a place that can provide more support.

And if you DO decide on any program, most don't let you talk to your kid for a few weeks. It feels wrong, but it isn't. There are a lot of habits that have formulated in your family that have to be untangled.

When you do talk with them it will be with their therapist (most likely).

Just those two things feel like they are actually places where they are brainwashing your child, or something feels wrong about limited contact. But it's not (at least in all of the places my daughter went)

And don't feel guilty that you are so relieved to have your child there. It is such a total relief that your house is calm. And once you know they are safe and others are caring for them, you can actually start to breathe again. I had to get past the guilt and still have to remind myself that I am doing my best for her and every decision whether bad or good for her entire life has been the best I knew how to do at the time.

I hope that helps somebody. I'll take any bit of good I can squeeze out of this experience.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders