The first court dates are here. Maintenance court on Friday because the current maintenance claim is 80% of my salary which was awarded by a judge... .So i'm fighting to have it reduced.
Family Advocate on Monday to deal with the latest infraction. A police driven invasion of my court appointed weekend with the children. She either sends them away over my weekend or in some other way imposes herself on the weekend.
What are the key pointers in court?
Extreme clarity that there will be NO CONTACT during your weekend.
I agree, your time should be YOUR time, just as her time is HER time. For example, if you would have gone to her residence and done what she did at your residence, wouldn't you have risked charges of stalking, harassment or worse? So you need to get this clear from the start of your case and not enable her to continue doing this even longer.
As for support, the court has forms and formulas to determine support. Could it be that the judge pulled a ballpark number out of the air and didn't use a form or formula? You need to be sure the procedures are followed and be sure to declare all your expenses, including child expenses. Also, don't list "I pay $50 to my parents" if that's what you are doing. Instead, list "I am in the process of renting an apartment for myself and the children, the price range for adequate apartments are $$$ to $$$$ monthly." Clearly, paying 80% is unreasonable but I wonder if it was based on you not clearly declaring your expenses, including those upcoming that are caused by the unwinding of the marriage. When searching for apartments, verify what size is needed, if you have boys and girls then you may need 2-3 bedrooms so the boys don't sleep with the girls. Those aren't among the cheaper ones.
Don't forget to list all your expenses. If you're ordered to give spousal support then ask whether she has to start paying her own utilities, insurance, taxes, etc. (Be aware that it is hard to get courts to enforce compliance with their orders. So you she fails to pay the mortgage and you decide to step in to salvage your credit or avoid foreclosure, then court will be slow to get you reimbursed, if at all. Factor all that into your strategies and alternatives.)
It was a 15 year marriage, so are all the children in school now? If so, then she should find work to support herself. That should be your goal for the judge to follow. There's no excuse for her to claim "I can't work, I'm caring for the children" while she sits at home or shops all day while the children are away over half the day. If she doesn't have college education or career training then the court might want to see her get career or job training and figure that you should give some short term spousal support. The #1 goal is to get the court to agree that she needs to find a way to support herself and that any money ordered that is not clearly
child support has to be considered
transitional and not indefinite or neverending.
Understand that if she doesn't work now or works very little, the court support formulas will give her every incentive to not find work, sabotage any required job efforts or repeatedly delay doing so. So at every hearing you need to have that issue reviewed and her progress (or lack of progress) in following the court's order.
