I found this little nugget of wisdom while reading a synopsis related to gaining power/gaining the upper hand with regards to relationships with others---essentially, it was a guide to manipulating people and situations in your favor. Of course, please don't take this to mean that this is what I'm advocating for or promoting at all; I just thought this one particular part was relevant to my/our situations. Also, it should be noted, I am vehemently against manipulation of any kind. To try to control others by means of deception, trickery, hoodwinking, theatrics is IMHO manipulative and therefore wrong. I would prefer to act according to how I normally would if there were no one around to influence me in any way. So if I feel compelled to text, I text; if I feel in my gut that it would be unwise to text even if I really want to, then I'll hold back. This disposition to act with autonomy hasn't always gotten me the results I wanted at the time--and it's impossible for me to say whether or not that was a good thing--but, try as I might, I find it difficult to follow the prescriptions of others even if I can understand the logic behind it. Call me stubborn (I am, after all) but sometimes I feel more comfortable reading quotes and parables that aren't directed at me and my particular situation by the author; but rather, ones that I find on my own that are more generalized in their application, and which I can apply at my discretion.
I think it's more productive in terms of personal growth to recognize how your own situation--which may be unique in many respects--is also quite similar to other's situations and just another version of the same experience. Therefore, instead of us asking what exactly we should do in a particular instance when our spouse/friend/relative says
this or when s/he does
that and what to say if
xyz occurs and what does it mean and how do we counter it, etc ad nauseum--instead of that, what if we look to see how we can apply basic tenets (they don't have to be popular or famous or come from a celebrity) universally in our lives and trust that the impact of living by a creed that you've compiled from the wisdom of others will return the results you seek? I believe it's better (not to mention easier in the long run) to tailor the situation to the wisdom, rather than tailor the wisdom to the situation.
An analogy would be like a kid who memorizes the answers to a test and a kid who learns the concepts behind the answers. The kid who memorizes the answers on this one particular test may get 100% and be happy until the next pop quiz. Meanwhile, the kid who learned the basic concepts behind the problems might not always get 100% everytime, but he will know what his mistakes were and how to fix them so that he isn't caught off guard by the next pop quiz.
What do you guys think? Oh, I almost forgot
here's that quote I found:
Avoid the Unhappy and Unlucky
You can die from someone else’s misery – emotional states are as infectious as disease. You may feel you are helping the drowning man but you are only precipitating your own disaster. The unfortunate sometimes draw misfortune on themselves; they will also draw it on you. Associate with the happy and fortunate instead.
Humans are extremely susceptible to the moods, emotions, and even the ways of thinking of those with whom they spend their time.
How can you protect yourself against such insiduous viruses?
The answer lies in judging people on the effects they have on the world and not on the reasons they give for their problems. Infectors can be recognized by the misfortune they draw on themselves, their turbulent past, their long line of broken relationships, their unstable careers, and the very force of their character, which sweeps you up and makes you lose your reason. Be forewarned by these signs of an infector; learn to see the discontent in their eye. Most important of all, do not take pity. Do not enmesh yourself in trying to help.
The infector will remain unchanged, but you will be unhinged.
Never associate with those who share your defects – they will reinforce everything that holds you back. Only create associations with positive affinities. Make this a rule of life and you will benefit more than from all the therapy in the world.
