Dysregulation again...

[empathic]

Holidays have been unusually calm, even the trip we went on was OK.

Yesterday I asked her about us going to visit my sister in their holiday home further on (something I haven't been able to do for two years). Then it started again, about how I don't stick up for her (wife) when we meet them etc etc. Calling me mean. Not understanding when I said I had been hurt by her asking if I "considered myself mentally ill" a while back.

She also claimed that the common therapist we had a few years back had told her that I was the one with the problems, and possibly a diagnose.

Later in the evening she told me to book a ticket for her as well, like nothing had happened.

Today I feel really down because of all this. Not really wanting to go home after work. I'm not sure why it got to me so particularly bad this time. I'm also fearing the consequences of all this, that I will end up lonely if/when we decide to separate.

Sorry, just needed to vent.

[Lucky Jim]

Hey empathic, I understand.  Whenever I wanted to do something with my family members, I met with a tremendous amount of resistance from my BPDxW.  Yet if it involved her family, I happily went along.  It was a double standard, one for her family and one for mine.

I know you're not at the leaving point yet, but I want to allay your fears about ending up lonely.  It's so peaceful to go home after work without the expectation of a confrontation.

LuckyJim

[empathic]

Hey empathic, I understand.  Whenever I wanted to do something with my family members, I met with a tremendous amount of resistance from my BPDxW.  Yet if it involved her family, I happily went along.  It was a double standard, one for her family and one for mine.

I know you're not at the leaving point yet, but I want to allay your fears about ending up lonely.  It's so peaceful to go home after work without the expectation of a confrontation.

LuckyJim

Thanks for that Jim. My fear of loneliness has its base in my past experience of living alone for a long time. I enjoy solitude, but not for longer periods, so it's something I need to work on if/when it comes to that. I won't say that it's what is keeping me in the relationship though. I enjoy family life, but with the kids getting older (soon both 10+) I realize it won't last forever.